


Confiding in the Storm

by CannibaLilly



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Consensual Kink, F/M, Hypnotism, Masturbation, Mind Control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-02-11 08:45:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 48,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2061588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CannibaLilly/pseuds/CannibaLilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“You know, I could always hypnotise you, if you want. Just in case you're curious if it’s worth the fantasies.”</i><br/>When the Doctor finds out about Donna’s fantasies, he is keen to help her try it out. Neither expected their experiment to become so much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Under Control](https://archiveofourown.org/works/285347) by [rotaryphones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotaryphones/pseuds/rotaryphones). 



> Beta-read by tkel_paris

“No! Noo, I didn’t do it!!” the haggard man hollered and banged his hands repeatedly onto the wooden table as if this would support his credibility.

Judging by the file Donna had skimmed, he was called Jesse Black, 36 years old and a confirmed drunkard - well, this came as no surprise. Considering they were in a place like Broadchurch, where everyone knew everyone, guilty pleasures would sooner than later be dragged to light.

“We know you didn’t, but-” the Doctor tried to calm the man, but he wasn’t listening.

“No! I’m not going to fall for another of your tricks!”

There had been a photo in the newspaper, showing a tin barrel that remotely resembled a Dalek and if there was one thing the Doctor wouldn’t let escape, it was a Dalek. The photo had been taken by Jesse Black, which was the reason why Donna and the Doctor were wasting their time in a poky interrogation room this day, trying to get the answers they needed from the haggard man. In vain. Jesse didn’t trust the Doctor, or at least he didn’t trust who the Doctor pretended to be. There was a DI in this town that could pass off as the Doctor’s twin, unfortunately he didn’t seem to get along well with poor Jesse, which made their questioning all the more difficult.

“Mr Black, we are really not here to trick you, we just need to ask you one little thing and-,” the Doctor tried once again.

“No! I keep telling you that I didn’t do it!” Jesse slumped down on his chair and rested his face in his palms, trying to shut out the world. He was trembling and probably needed a drink, Donna reckoned.

The Doctor turned around to her and she saw the frustration on his face as he stepped closer to whisper in her ear so Jesse wouldn’t hear him.  
“He’s not even listening to me.”

“Yeah, looks like he’s no big fan of you,” she whispered back.

“It’s not my fault that this Hardy can’t deal with people!” he justified.

“Do you want me to try it?” Donna offered just when Jesse couldn’t take it any longer. He seemed to believe they were whispering about a new way to trick him into jail and went completely ballistic.

“I want to see my counsel! I refuse to talk to you any longer!! Hey, does anyone hear me out there?! I want **_out_**!!”

This wasn’t good. This nice woman, Miller her name was, had bought the Doctor’s show and confused him for her colleague, but she wouldn’t allow them to stay in here with an innocent man that threw a tantrum. And even if she did not interfere, it was only a matter of time until the real Alec Hardy would return and entirely blow their cover.

Donna was about to recommend a quick escape, but the Doctor was not ready to leave without answers. Quickly he crossed the room, walking around the table to the still screaming Jesse who suddenly piped down at the sight of the Doctor approaching him. He gaped up at the Time Lord as if he expected to be thrown into the nearest wall, but instead of hurting him, the Doctor placed his fingers against the man’s temples.

“I’m sorry, Mr Black, but I need you to answer me,” he said and closed his eyes.

For a second both, Jesse and Donna, watched him equally confused. The last time she had seen the Doctor doing this, had been with her at the Ood’s sphere - and she doubted he was about to open the man’s mind to music… Then, without a warning, Jesse’s face lost all expression. His eyes fluttered shut and his body went limp. Carefully the Doctor let go of the man who now looked as if he’d had simply dozed off. The Doctor crouched down in front of the unconscious man.

“Jesse, I need you to tell me one thing. Can you do that?” he asked with a velvet voice.

“Sure,” Jesse replied, no hint of fear or tension in his voice anymore.

Donna gaped at the sight in front of her. What on earth…?!

“A week ago, you took a photo of something curious. What was that?” the Doctor asked Jesse, oblivious to Donna’s shock.

“No idea, I thought it looked funny, like a robot from a sci-fi movie or something. I took a photo for my niece, she has a thing for sci-fi.”

The Doctor made a thoughtful face before he continued to question Jesse with a calm tone to his voice that strongly contrasted his expression. “Alright, Jesse. Did this ‘robot’ do anything? Did it move, or talk? Did it do _anything_ at all?”

Donna sensed a hint of tension in his voice, but nearly at once he managed to push this upcoming emotion back down.

“No, it has never moved.”

“Never?”

“No, never in all the time. I can see it every day on my way home from the bar and it never moves.”

The Doctor stood up again and watched Jesse for a moment. Finally he nodded. “False alarm,” he breathed out, turning to Donna. “Whatever he saw, this was no Dalek. Maybe it was really just a tin barrel the flood washed ashore and- what is this look for?”

Donna found herself gaping at the Doctor and quickly closed her mouth.

Before she could answer him, they heard a voice from outside of the room thundering:  
**“What do you mean I’m already here!?”**

Uh-oh. This had to be the Doctor’s doppelgänger.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

“This was a bloody close call,” Donna let out a deep breath and leaned back in the jump-seat in the control room. “I’d loved to see the look on his face when he realised that we escaped through the toilet window though,” she giggled. “Because it would have been your face and you’d have looked really surprised and really annoyed.”

“We didn’t look that alike,” the Doctor replied, obviously slightly upset by the thought of a human lookalike.

“What?! He could be your clone, or brother… okay, your grumpy workaholic brother, but still-”

“Can we change the subject?” he grumbled and pulled a handle out of the control panel that was fixed to it with a rope. He repeated this three times, taking up the pace and it looked a bit like he was trying to kick a lawn-mower alive. “You could tell me what this flabbergasted look was about for example.”

Now it was Donna who wished they were changing the subject, a blush crept on her face and betrayed her nonchalant reply: “It was nothing,” she said, trying to dismiss the topic.

The Doctor cocked an eyebrow at her and she averted her eyes, fearing he would be able to tell what she was thinking. And who knew! Maybe he could read her thoughts, after all she had seen today… Donna felt her hair stand to an end at the mere memory. He had… what had he done to this bloke? As far as she knew, the Doctor only touched people like that to enter their minds and after he had done it, this Jesse had become very calm and had willingly told him everything the Doctor had wanted to know. Oh, who was she trying to fool? He had hypnotised this bloke! Just like that, a touch and the haggard man had been under. Donna shuddered and rubbed her palms over her arms to make him believe she was cold. Actually she felt quite hot.

 _Not here, you silly goose!_ she snapped herself out of it. _Not here and not with the Doctor in the same room!_

Fact was that she really was into this. Hypnosis, trance, suggestions, all that quickened Donna’s pulse and made… certain parts of her anatomy feel very tingly. She had no idea why, it had been her kink ever since she’d been a teenager and she certainly did not want her Martian to know about this!

“Are you okay?” he asked, a touch of worry in his voice. “Your heart rate has increased.”

“Stop checking on my heart rate!” Donna snapped and glared at the Doctor who winced under her sudden mood swing. Of course, he had no idea that he was digging at a place she was especially thin-skinned at.

“Sorry, I’m just saying that, if that what you’ve seen today upsets you, we can talk about it.”

“I do not want to talk about it!” Donna replied louder than she had wanted. She felt as if she’d somehow manoeuvred herself with the back against the wall and the Doctor closed in on her. Her only way to escape was by attacking him directly. “You decided it was alright to trespass this bloke’s head to get your answers, that’s nothing we have to discuss! And now I will go to bed. Good night.”

Furious and embarrassed, Donna stormed off to her room and left an utterly confused Time Lord back.

What in Rassilon’s name had that been about?

The Doctor had regretted intruding the man’s mind the second he’d decided to do it. Humans had very limited means of protection once it came to mental attacks and that was the reason why the Doctor hardly ever made use of them. Today he had seen no other way and he had hoped Donna would understand, but now… Her pulse had been quick, her temperature higher than usual and her skin was covered in goosebumps, if he wouldn’t know any better he would say Donna had been aroused.

He hesitated, frowned and then shook his head. Nonsense, nothing had happened that could cause arousal in a human. After spending centuries with them, he slowly started to understand which things “got them off” so he could carefully avoid those things. Aroused companions were distracted and could be troublesome. Other human with a certain symmetry about their faces meant arousal. Watching others kiss, no matter the species as long as it wasn’t too gross, yup more arousal. Dancing, if done correctly, you guessed right: arousal. Things like that. Today nothing like that had happened, so he must have mistaken Donna’s anger for another emotion. Then again, he knew how an angry or upset Donna looked like by hearts…

The Doctor threw a suspicious look down the corridor to where his companion had vanished and couldn’t help but wonder.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Donna was lying in her bed and stared at the ceiling. She couldn’t sleep, not as long as arousal, anger and guilt took turns in nagging at her mind. It was all the Doctor’s fault! Who had allowed him to hypnotise someone while Donna was watching?! No-one! He hadn’t even asked her! Then again… he had feared to meet his arch-enemy and really needed those answers. The remorseful look in his eyes had told Donna he hadn’t done it because he was bored or it was the easy way - he had seen no other option.

She sat up in the bed and stroked her bangs out of her face. He probably needed her support right now and if she was completely honest with herself, she wasn’t even angry about his behaviour. This bloke had been so annoying, she would have shut him up herself, if she could have. And that without feeling a hint of remorse, but the Doctor was different.

The ginger sighed. She hadn’t meant to shout at him, but she had felt as if he was about to discover something about her, and she didn’t want to share this piece of info with him. The Doctor always seemed so controlled and if Donna imagined that he knew about this one thing that turned her on more than anything else… He wouldn’t understand, he would laugh or be annoyed with her for being so easy to manipulate-

A high-pitched noise escaped Donna’s lips before she could help it and she slid back down under her blanket to hide her flustered face even though she was alone. Ever since she had seen the Doctor do… _it_ , her mind kept circling around hypnosis and manipulation and _hng_! This was nothing new to her, but the fact that a certain Time Lord had wound his way into her fantasies confused and scared her. Just for a second she wanted to imagine how it must have felt having the Doctor put her under, without feeling like a total creep. How he entered her mind without asking for permission. How he took over and-

What was she doing there?! Embarrassed Donna realised that her hands had wandered beneath her shirt. Alright, she was no nun, she had masturbated before, even while imagining stuff like that, but never until now had she thought about the Doctor while touching herself. He was her best mate after all and, she had to remind herself, too skinny for words. He was the one to take her for a ride in his TARDIS, not a ride in her bed, good grief!

Puffing out a flustered breath, Donna banned her hands on top of the blanket where she could keep an eye on them and tried to find some sleep.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The Doctor was lying under the TARDIS’s control panel and finally tried to fix this loop the old girl had started doing right before landing. Sure, it was fun, but Donna seemed annoyed because it kept destroying her hair, even though the Doctor couldn’t think of a way her hair could be destroyed…

The soft sound of footsteps brought him back out of his ginger-fantasies and he perked up his ears. Those sounded like Donna’s footsteps. He hesitated. Should he pretend that he hadn’t heard her? Maybe it was for the best to leave her alone until she felt ready to tell him whatever had upset her, or aroused her - whichever was the feeling she decided to settle for.

“Have you fallen asleep down there?” Donna’s voice was so close that the Doctor almost jumped up and, since he was lying flat on his back, he banged his head against the control panel. Stars exploded behind his eyes and he pressed a hand to his head while slowly crawling out from down there. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!” Donna exclaimed and carefully pulled his hand away from his forehead to check if this would make a bruise. Glad that she was no longer angry with him, the Doctor let her examine his head.

“I’ll survive it,” he told her bravely. She only gave him an indecisive nod and let go of his hand. Not till then had he realised that his companion was in her pyjamas and looked very much like she just escaped her bed.

“Did you have a bad dream?” he asked, ready to comfort her for a change.

“Huh?” Donna still seemed nervous. “No, I- I can’t sleep. I thought a hot cup of tea could fix that when I found you lying there…”

“Is it because of what happened today?” he asked and regretted it right away. Donna’s expression darkened and she stood up. The way she was towering over him with this ominous look made him feel a little bit queasy. “I’m just saying that it could help you to talk about it,” he fast added.

“Good night,” Donna growled and turned away to go into the kitchen.

“Donna!” the Doctor got up to his feet and followed her. He caught up with her near the kitchen and reached for her shoulder. Donna could be angry whenever she wanted, even for no reason at all, but he hated to see her running away from him like that. It usually meant she wasn’t angry. No, when she was angry she shouted and fought. Donna Noble only ran away when she was scared of something. “Stop that and tell me what’s upsetting you!” he turn her around to him and was quite proud with himself that he’d said “upsetting” and not “arousing” which certainly would have earned him a decent shout.

Instead of shouting, Donna jerked away from his touch as if he had burned her.

“What?” he wondered quietly. “Tell me what’s wrong. If you are angry with me for what I did today then I understand that. You are right, I crossed a line and I promise I will never-”

“This is not about you!” Donna interrupted him and to his shock the Doctor saw tear glistening in her eyes. “This is about me and I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“You are crying,” he demurred unnecessarily.

“But just because you keep asking me stuff I don’t want to discuss,” Donna sniffed. “It’s not even a big deal, but it’s nothing I can tell you, okay?”

Actually this should have been the end of the story, but he couldn’t leave it like that. “You can tell me everything, Donna.”

Her expression soften at his words but, or maybe because of that, she turned away from him and put the kettle on. The Doctor knew this kind of behaviour very well. Some things kept praying on the mind and it didn’t matter if they were big or not, they needed to be said aloud. Just sometimes it was difficult to find someone who would listen but not judge.

“You know you’re my best mate,” he continued, careful not to trigger another attempt to run away. “If there’s something you need to get out then I’ll listen… but if it’s really a secret then that’s okay, too. I’m the last person to blame someone for keeping secrets.”

For some moments silence fell over the kitchen. It was funny but Donna could turn a little kitchen into his whole world with her silence. None of the galaxies or stars he had seen out there existed anymore when Donna covered herself in secrecy like this. The world was only the two of them and the kettle that bubbled along.

“What did you do to Jesse Black?” she finally spoke up.

“I went into his mind,” the Doctor told her hesitantly, maybe she was angry about this after all…

“Yeah, I saw that but- What did you do? It wasn’t like the thing you did to me in the Ood’s sphere.” Donna threw a quick glance over her shoulder to him and for some reason her face was flustered. “You touched him and he went all calm.”

The Doctor frowned at his companion’s newly discovered interest in his mental abilities. “I, err, sent his mind into a state of relaxation. He clearly had nervous collapse, so I had to calm him down a little. Once he was there the rest was a piece o-”

“Where?” Donna curiously cut him off and placed two cups of steaming tea on the table.

“Huh?” he sat down with her. He wasn’t sure about this, but it seemed like she was not angry with him.

“You said ‘once he was there’. Where is ‘there’?” Donna held firmly onto her cup with both hands and took a long sip, oblivious to the temperature of the tea.

“It’s not a real place, it’s more a state of mind,” he explained. “I suppose ‘trance’ is the words that comes closest to it.”

She chocked on her tea and coughed up some of the hot beverage. The Doctor watched her, confused by such an unexpected reaction. It took her some time to get her breathing back under control before she could stutter: “Then y-you, err, you put him into a…”

“A trance, yes,” he repeated slowly and could almost watch how Donna and her tea outsteamed each other. There was no way he could ignore it any longer, this wasn’t the way Donna used to behave when she was upset. He had never seen her like that before and that meant… “You’re aroused after all!” he exclaimed, half surprised by his companion’s behaviour, half triumphant that he’d been right all this time.

Donna almost dropped her cup. “Don’t be silly, I am not!” she snapped with a crimson face.

He frowned at her in disbelief.

Enraged, she got up from the table and almost knocked her chair over as she did so. “I’m not listening to this anymore, I’ll go to bed!” The two of them exchanged a look and Donna’s eyes widened in shock once she understood what she had just said. “Not to masturbate, dumbo! To _sleep_!” It was the Doctor’s turn to blush. She planted those images in his mind and he was the dumbo?

Before Donna could storm off like that, the Doctor pulled himself together. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“You made it sound like it shocked you,” Donna grumbled. “Not that it is true, but if it was, you would have hurt my feelings.”

Sheepishly he rubbed his hand over his neck. “It was more the, uhm, state of arousal that surprised me than the reason for it,” he admitted and added with a calmer voice: “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She stood there for a moment, her whole body tensed up, and the Doctor had no idea if it was due to her mysterious condition or because this talk was really uncomfortable for her. “I suppose it’s pretty weird,” she mumbled after a while.

“There’s nothing wrong with having a little fetish,” the Doctor replied and took a sip from his tea.

“Like you and your wish to be ginger? Stop trying to make that happen, sunshine.” Donna rolled her eyes at his shocked expression.

“That’s cruel!” he stated and ignored the fact that she seemed to believe his preference for gingers focused solely on his own hair.

“But it’s different with me, I’m talking about a creepy sex-thing that has gotten me into a lot of trouble before,” Donna continued.

“Your partners judged you for it?” he asked slowly. Sex was a completely new topic for them and he wasn’t sure where the mines were hidden that would cause Donna to explode- Maybe he should avoid this kind of words in this context.

“Nah, I never told them,” she admitted. “But have you ever tried being a teenager with a kink everyone else finds funny? Silly villains in children’s films, hypno-shows and then one time I had to give a speech about hypnotherapy for a biology class! That nearly killed me!”

“But you never told anyone?” he asked confused. “I thought the point of a… ‘sex-thing’ is to share it with a partner.”

Donna shook her head. “I just couldn’t, my relationships never lasted long enough for me to trust someone that much.”

The Doctor couldn’t help but sympathies with her, even though he knew she hated being pitied. If her longest relationship had been with Lance then she was probably not going to trust anyone soon again, except… A touched smile crawled on his face that made Donna frown.

“What’s that look for?” she asked suspiciously.

“You just trusted me enough,” he told her and Donna averted her eyes.

“Well, you are my best friend after all and you wouldn’t stop asking! Besides, it’s not like you’d be at the risk of sleeping with me, so it’s okay if you know my kink. We don’t have to share it.” Before the Doctor could comment on that, Donna continued: “Now that this is out, I can finally try to get some sleep. There’s only so much of embarrassment a girl can take in one night. Good night, Spaceman,” this time she said it and really meant it. She turned away to leave the kitchen when the Doctor leaned back in his chair.

“You know, I could always hypnotise you, if you want.” He could positively hear Donna freezing midway and took another sip from his tea before adding: “Just in case you’re curious if it’s worth the fantasies, you know?”


	2. Down

The library was still one of Donna’s favourite rooms in the TARDIS. It was an enormous labyrinth that merged futuristic technology with antique architecture perfectly. At first she had been afraid to get lost between all these aisles, since the Doctor didn’t seem to need any signpost in here, but soon she realised that the old girl always made sure to move the bookshelves so Donna was able to see the door from wherever she went.

Today she and the Doctor didn’t aim for one of the shelves though. Muted by her swirling emotions, Donna followed him through the aisles. What on earth was she doing here? An hour ago she had been determined not to let him know about her kink, but somewhere between her bed and the kitchen it seemed she’d fallen through the proverbial rabbit hole and now she was about to let him take part in it.

 _“You know, I could always hypnotise you, if you want.”_ The sneaky little Martian, how could she have said no to that offer? Not that she had said yes, either. The word “yes” had never left her mouth. She had been strong and resisted temptation… Well, kind of.

 _“Do you_ not _want me to do it?”_ It wasn’t her fault that he had put it like that.

 _“…no,”_ she had admitted truthfully. And this was the reason why she was following him deep into the library in the middle of the night, feeling more awake than ever.

Donna wiped her sweaty palms on her pyjama bottoms, God, she was nervous! Could he really hypnotise her? And if so, how would she react?? The Doctor probably thought she would treat the whole experience with scientific curiosity like he would. Trying out her kink for real, how informative, great fun for the whole class! Just that she would not, she would get all weird about it and turned on and what then?! The Doctor was in the room with her after all, so she could hardly get off on it…

No, there was absolutely no way she could let him do it! Donna stopped walking, she had made her decision: She would keep her creepy fetish to herself like a normal human being! 

“There we are,” the Doctor stopped almost in unison with her and smiled. They had reached a corner of the library with only two armchairs in front of a cosy little fireplace.

“What? Here?” she wondered and the curiosity instantly pushed her decision to the back of her mind.

“What’s wrong with here? I thought you like the library,” he turned around to her with a disappointed frown replacing his big grin.

“I do like it! It’s just… I’ve been here so many times before. It’s nothing special.” _Not like the reason for why we are here_ , she thought to herself.

She felt a little guilty for frustrating his plans like this, but to her surprise, his expression lit up again. “And that’s exactly the reason I chose this place,” he said. “A place that’s all new and ‘special’ would make you even more nervous than you are now, don’t think I didn’t recognise that.”

Donna shot him a glare. “You’re doing it again! Stop checking on my heart rate, will you?!”

“I don’t need to check your pulse to know you’re nervous. I know you well enough to tell by looking at your face,” he replied and walked over to have a closer look at the fireplace. Every single one in the library worked differently. Some were lit by matches, other by pushing a button and yet others were voice-activated. She had asked the Doctor for the reason and he’d told her that he hated repeats and so did the TARDIS. Donna knew he’d collected most of the books in here himself though, expanding the library as he did so. To her mind it was more likely that he’d also collected the fireplaces and just couldn’t find dozens of identical ones.

“If I let you do it,” she began hesitantly “is it dangerous?”

“Not as long as you’re with such a skilled hypnotist. That’s me, by the way,” he replied encouragingly. Donna stifled a whimper while the Doctor was running his palms over the wooden frame of the fireplace, blissfully ignorant about the effect he had on her by referring to himself as a skilled hypnotist.

“There are a couple of things I need to pay attention to, but it’s not going to hurt, if that’s what you’re scared of. It feels a bit like dozing off really. I’d show you if just-” he growled and banged his fist against the frame “this would work the way it used to.” The way he spoke about it made Donna wonder if he knew from his own experience, but then another thing caught her attention and she forgot to ask him.

“You need the fireplace?” she asked. “I thought you were doing the finger-to-temples-thing.”

“No, that wouldn’t do much for you,” he replied and crouched down in front of the fireplace, eyeing it up from within. “Entering a person’s mind is a method Time Lords developed to be quick and leave no marks. It’s useless if you really want to experience the process of going into trance.” His voice bounced off the stone walls in the fireplace and reached Donna as an echo. Finally he seemed to have found what he was searching for. “Aha!” he stood up again. Whatever he had done, a moment later a crackling fire grew behind him. Satisfied he turned around to her again. “That’s what you wanted, in case you decide to do this, right? The good, old-fashioned hypnosis.”

Donna considered his question for a moment. The fact that she had witnessed the process from the outside before had calmed her a little, but if the Doctor was right - and she saw no reason to assume he wasn’t - then that wasn’t what she wanted. “Right,” she replied slowly.

“You don’t have to do it, you know? It was just an offer, I won’t be miffed if you reject it,” he pointed out.

She didn’t doubt his words, but she doubted her own feelings. She was curious, but she was also nervous. She was exited, but also freaked out. And on top of that she was feeling really hot, which confused her altogether. It were these kind of confusing feelings that had made her reject the Doctor’s very first offer. She had stood back home instead of going with him right away. Retrospective, considering how he’d treated poor Martha, it had been the right decision, but one she’d regretted. Weeks and months she had blamed herself for missing the chance of a life time. This might not change her life quite as much, but it was still a unique opportunity and she didn’t want to miss it…

“We would have rules, right?” she dodged the answer for the time being. “If we do this, then there need to be limits.”

“Absolutely!” the Doctor agreed. “I cannot make you do anything you really don’t want to do, but if there’s anything you might feel uncomfortable about, tell me and I won’t come near it.”

Donna chewed on her bottom lip. “Let’s see…,” she started pensively. “Rule number 1: Don’t make me do anything ridiculous,” she said and raised her index finger to count the rules for him.

“Ridiculous? Like what?” he asked.

“Making me cluck like a chicken, or something silly like that. Just don’t. Rule number 2:,” she raised a second finger. “Don’t get all therapist-y. I don’t want to talk about my complexes or mother-issues or whatnots. Understood?”

He nodded slowly and she all but saw him committing those two rules to his memory. “Understood. Rule number 3?”

Donna looked at the two fingers she’d raised as if they could tell her what else there was. The truth was, she could make up 1,000 more rules. She wanted to know exactly what he was going to do, how and when, but that wasn’t how it worked, was it? The fun of this was trusting the Doctor with- well, with everything really. Doing this was probably the scariest thing she had ever considered. It was also the most exciting thing.

She looked at her Spaceman. He was watching her attentively, waiting for further rules she would give him and Donna knew he would be careful to observe all of them. If there was anyone in all time and space she trusted to do this, it was him.

“…that’s it,” she said finally. “two rules, don’t break them!”

The Doctor seemed surprised by her sudden determination, but then he smiled. “So?” he asked.

She blinked at him. “So…what?”

“Have you made your decision, yet?” Donna could tell from the tone of his voice that he was more than eager to brush his old skill up, but also that he wasn’t going to push her. A “No” would get her out of here. The only question was: did she want to get out?

“You know how I feel about all this,” she mumbled, careful to look somewhere else while talking. “I’m not sure how I will react and I don’t- I don’t want to freak you out, that’s all,” she lowered her voice towards the end until it was all but a whisper.

With a supportive smile, the Doctor rested his hands on her arms. “Donna, there is nothing you could do that’d freak me out. People take pleasure in different things, there’s nothing wrong with that. Your ‘kink’, as you call it, isn’t any weirder than others.”

She wasn’t entirely sure if to believe him, although… what was weird for a 900-year old alien, living in a bigger-on-the-inside box anyway?

“Besides,” he added, “even though you enjoy arguing with me on that point, I am very much grown-up and familiar with the kind of- reaction you’re worried about. Just leave all your problems to me.”

Donna felt herself swallowing dryly. This mischievous twinkle in his eyes while saying those last words made her wonder if he was really oblivious to the reaction he had on- Wait! Did that mean he had just said it was okay if she…? No, certainly he hadn’t.

“Well, if it isn’t dangerous… and you don’t think it’s weird… there’s probably no reason for me not to… right?” she mused slowly. She was still trying to come up with a reason why this was wrong, but couldn’t think of any that was strong enough to rival the feeling of anticipation. She had never thought that one day she would get the chance to have a go on being hypnotised.

To her surprise, the Doctor suddenly shook his head. “No, I need you to tell me clearly whether you want me to do it or not. I can’t do this without your explicit permission. I’d keep wondering if I talked you into it for the rest of the night.”

Donna’s gaze flickered over to the armchairs and then over to the door in the distance before she took a deep breath. Her heart was racing in her chest and she knew that she was nervous, but she also knew that she’d regret missing such a chance more than anything else.

She looked back at the Doctor and found the reassurance she needed. “Yes, Spaceman. I want you to hypnotise me.”

He beamed at her, happy about such a sign of confidence. “ _Molto bene_. Make yourself comfortable and I’m going to do the rest.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“Are you sitting comfortably?” the Doctor asked once they had sat down in the two armchairs. Donna settled back and nodded. She was certainly more comfortable than he was. He was sitting on the edge of the chair, leaning forward to face her, if she had wanted to, she could have reached out and touched him. Donna wasn’t panicking anymore, but it was still reassuring to have him so close around.

“Good, I’m not going to use any tricks. In fact, I’m not doing much at all, going into trance is like relaxing thoroughly, that’s something you can only do yourself. I’m just your guide, I’ll tell you what you can do to relax and make sure you’re safe,” he explained.

She doubted she could relax while feeling so excited, but she hadn’t come that far to give up. “What’s this for then?” she asked and nodded towards the fire.

“It’s easier to relax with something to focus your eyes on, and actually that’s the first thing you can do. Just watch the fire.”

“Okay… I’m watching,” she frowned, still not entirely convinced by the simple setting he’d chosen, but ready to give it a try.

“Perfect, and now focus. Shut out the rest of the room, there is just the flame in front of you and my voice,” he was talking slower now, calmer, reminding Donna of the way he’d questioned the hazard bloke, only that he didn’t sound quite as distant. The warmth in his tone was the same as always when he talked to her. “See how it moves and flares? There’s no need to look anywhere else, just let yourself get lost in the sight.”

Donna spotted a log the flames were dancing around and licking on and tried to follow his instructions by focusing on it. The fire wasn’t unpleasantly bright, so she found it easy to watch and slowly let the room around her fade from view.

“That’s it,” he encouraged her softly. “Now I want you to take a deep breath for me, can you do that? In through your nose. Out through your mouth. Feel the air taking all the tension out with it. Very good, you might feel your muscles becoming loose while breathing like this, that’s nothing to be afraid of, just relax.”

Donna was always surprised how well he could analyse her body by just looking at her. Even though she wasn’t entirely sure if he was telling her what her body was doing, or if her body was just following what he was telling her. This way or the other, her muscles started to feel slack after a few breaths and soon she had to make an effort to keep herself upright.

“As you are sitting there, watching the flames, you might recognise how heavy your body is becoming. The feeling starts in your legs and slowly climbs up. It reaches your lower back, then your chest. Let it reach your head, relaxing your face and mind. You’re feeling very tired, it’s difficult to keep your eyes open, so you might as well close them.”

Donna blinked, her gaze still glued to the dancing flames in front of her. It was no use denying it, she was slowly losing her battle against gravity and sank down in the comfortable chair. Funnily enough, just a moment ago she’d felt all fidgety and awake, and now everything she wanted was to fall asleep right where she was, she doubted she would be able to leave this chair to go to her bed anyway.

It was a nice feeling, warm and cosy, and yet she struggled to keep her eyes open. Closing them meant the Doctor had managed to put her into a trance, didn’t it? And even though it had become quite clear to her that it was his doing that she felt so tired and warm, she was still awake. She wasn’t sure if she could take this last step.

The Doctor seemed aware of her struggled and leaned closer to her. “No rush, just close them at your own pace. It’s difficult to keep them open though, isn’t it? There’s nothing you need to worry about, just let yourself fall asleep. I am here, I won’t go away. Just sleep, you’re safe.”

The last conscious though that crossed Donna’s mind before succumbing to the darkness was that she felt safe, if there was anyone in all time and space she trusted to do this, it was the Doctor.

Then her eyes closed and she felt herself sink back into the chair.

“That’s a good girl. Down you go. Feel yourself sinking slowly. You’re deeply relaxed. I’m right here, just focus on my voice. Let it take you further down.”

She felt herself floating in the darkness, engulfed by the warmth of the fire and the Doctor’s voice, she would have been completely relaxed if not for the distracting heat pooling in her lower stomach.

“Can you hear me?” the tone of his voice was just slightly worried, but he pulled himself together almost instantly. “You will find it very easy to speak. It’s no effort at all. Do you hear me?”

“Yeah, I hear you,” she mumbled. Her tongue seemed a little reluctant to be the only working organ in this body in which even the brain had stopped struggling.

“Very good,” he comment, more to himself for not accidentally breaking her. “How do you feel?” he asked, back to keeping the mesmerising tone to his voice that had developed an irresistible pull to Donna. 

“Good,” she sighed sleepily. “Relaxed.”

“The state you are in now is called trance. It’s a bit like sleeping. No reason to be scared. That’s what we wanted to do, remember?”

“’course I remember,” she mumbled. She was hypnotised, not daft.

“Of course you do,” the Doctor softly agreed. “I want you to memorise this feeling carefully. In fact, you will find it very easy to come back to it whenever I click my fingers. When I do that you will go back down into trance. You will sink even deeper than you are now, whenever I click my fingers.”

Somewhere, a little part of Donna recognised that he had stopped asking her to do things for him. He wasn’t bossing her around either, he was simply taking it as given that she would comply, and the fact that she saw no reason not to, made her skin tingle pleasantly.

“In a moment I will touch your hand and you will feel wide awake, but you will remain in trance” the Doctor informed her. “You won’t remember being in trance, in fact you will believe I failed in putting you under until I click my fingers and you will return into this relaxed state.” He repeated his instructions slowly for her before he asked: “Have you understood?”

“Yes,” Donna hadn’t given his words much thought, they had just sunk in naturally.

“Very good. 3-2-1, wide awake.”

Donna felt the touch of his fingers on the back of her hand and something inside of her stirred. Actually her whole body stirred. She blinked her eyes open and looked at the Doctor. He looked exerted but satisfied.

“Hello,” the bright smile he threw at her made Donna frown.

“Why are you looking like the cat that got the cream, Timeboy? I thought you wanted to try and hypnotise me.”

“Try and hypnotise you?” he echoed.

“Yes.”

“ _Try_?”

“Ye-hes,” Donna stressed.

“What do you think have we been doing for the last few minutes?” he asked and almost sounded as if he was actually curious about it.

“I don’t know what you’ve been doing, but I’ve been listening to the world’s worst hypnotist,” she replied. “Stick to this thing with touching people that you do. At least that works.” Donna felt slightly disappointed that it hadn’t worked. She hadn’t recognised it until now, but even the Doctor’s useless attempt in putting her under had turned her on, who knew how she’d have felt if he had succeeded? She suppressed a shudder and hoped he wouldn’t take too long talking himself out of his fail, she needed some privacy soon.

Instead of an apologetic expression however, a mischievous grin appeared on the Time Lord’s face that confused Donna altogether. “Oh, I don’t think I even need to touch you to put you into trance,” he said and pressed his middle finger and thumb together. “I just need to click my fingers and you’ll feel very sleepy.”

Donna rolled her eyes. She really was grateful that he had tried, but there was absolutely no reason for him to look so smug about such a silly plan. “That’s not how hypnosis works, you dunce.”

“It’s how a trigger works though,” the Doctor pointed out and for a second she felt speechless.

“Tr-trigger only work on people who are in trance. This means you’d have to hypnotise me first.”

Instead of a reply he waggled his eyebrows at her.

Donna opened her mouth. Then closed it again. And opened it once more to stutter: “Don’t try one of your Jedi mind tricks on me! Don’t you think I’d know if I was in trance?”

“I’m sure you would,” he chirped.

“I bloody would!” she snapped. Was this how he treated her for coming out to him about her kink? Would he make fun of it?

She was just about to storm out of the room when the Doctor raised his hand in front of her face and softly said: “Well, then this is going to be utterly pointless.” Before Donna could even blush about the mere idea of this trigger, he clicked his fingers. “Sleep.”

It was as if a huge wave washed over her and pulled her down with it. All strength and tension left her body and she fell back against the back-rest of the chair.

“That’s it. Go back down. Deeper and deeper down. You're completely relaxed,” the Doctor’s voice was there to cushion her and guide her further down. “Good. Let your confusion and anger back while sinking further down in sleep.”

He continued to lull her into an even deeper trance. Donna stopped concentrating on the actual meaning of his words after some time, she just let the rhythm of his voice mesmerise her. What he was saying sank right into her subconsciousness, not that this was a reason for her to worry. Or was this just the Doctor telling her that it was no reason to worry? Whatever it was that made her feel so warm and comfortable, she didn’t care. Her clouded mind couldn’t understand why she had waited so long for someone to make her feel so wonderful.

“Have you understood?” the hint of a question broke through the mist around her mind and told her that she was to answer.

“Uh-huh,” she hummed, unable to nod. What exactly had she just confirmed? She wasn’t sure herself, but it had just felt right to agree to whatever he asked of her.

“Very good. 3-2-1, wide awake.” The touch of his fingers on the back of her hand pulled her back up. She opened her eyes and slowly sat up in the chair, she realised that she’d sunk deep into the cushions of the armchair while being in trance… Wait, she remembered being under! Did that mean-

“Are we already done?” she wondered, trying not to let the disappointment she felt resonate in her voice.

“No, not yet, you’re still hypnotised,” the Doctor chuckled. “Do you feel any different?”

She frowned and took a moment to find out how she was feeling right now. Excited, very, very excited, especially now that she could think straight again. She was hypnotised! Right at this moment! Her heart skipped a beat and she couldn’t stifle a giggle. “No, I really can’t feel anything special. That’s so weird! Are you sure I’m still hypnotised?”

“Oh, we can find out if you like,” he replied with a boyish grin. “Just tell me something about yourself.”

She blinked, confused by such a request. “Like what?”

“Oh just basic stuff,” he waved his hand about to emphasise that he wasn’t expecting anything deep. “Things you would say to describe yourself to someone new maybe.”

She raised her eyebrows but finally gave in with a shrug. Playing along was the key word, hopefully she would find out what he was playing at soon. “Alright… I am British woman in her mid-thirties, I live in Chiswick… I’m ginger, as you can see, I’ve been working as a temp until recently, but at the moment I’m travelling with a friend. Satisfied?”

“That’s very interesting,” he said amazed. “Your mind has simply worked around this piece of information, I expected you to get stuck, but that was a pretty clever solution to your problem.”

“What problem?” she wanted to know. He’d had his fun, now she wanted to know what he’d done to her.

“Tell me your name,” he said calmly.

“My name?” she echoed.

“Yes, it’s the most basic piece of information to share while introducing yourself, but you skipped that part.”

“But you know my name!” she objected.

“Yes, I do. The question is: do _you_ know your name?”

“Of course I know it,” she replied. What a silly question. The Doctor gestured at her to go on. The ginger temp from Chiswick opened her mouth… and closed it again. For some reason nothing wanted to come to mind. “But I know your name!” she objected quickly. “You’re the Doctor, how can I remember your name but forget mine?”

Finally his face lit up, he seemed satisfied with the result. “You haven’t forgotten it, the memory is just held back by your subconsciousness. Like when you try to recall a word that’s on the tip of your tongue, but it slips further away the harder you try.”

She stared at him, trying not to panic. It was an unpleasant feeling not to know her own name, especially while she knew everyone else’s names. Sylvia, Wilfred, the Doctor, all that was clearly linked in her mind to a certain person, but her own face remained nameless.

The Doctor seemed to sense her unease. “Don’t worry about it, it’s just a temporary problem, I will take it back in a mo. I thought it might be interesting.”

So she hadn’t lost this piece of information for good? That was a small relieve but she was still intimidated by the feeling, she hid it with a sarcastic remark: “Oh good, I was already panicking that I’d have to find myself a new name. Oh, is that how you ended up as the Doctor? A hypnotic suggestion that went wrong?”

The Martian scowled at her and she couldn’t help but smile. “You’re mean, even when you’re hypnotised,” he pointed out miffed, but she recognised a tiny smile playing about the corner of his mouth, too. “Do you want us to go on?”

“Yeah, I’d like to get my name back if you don’t mind,” she replied and settled back into the chair. This time she knew what was about to come.

“Your wish is my command,” he said and she felt a shudder running down her spine. By now she was positive that he was choosing such expressions on purpose to tease her. Before she could complain, the Doctor already raised his hand and the clicking sound that followed opened a hole in the ground that swallowed Donna. Oh, right. Donna, that was her name. Of course it was. How could she have forgotten about it?

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Slowly she got used to the seesaw between blissful trance and the semi-awake state he pulled her up into. At first she always felt confused, even annoyed, because he knew so well what was about to come while she could only guess and wait, but after some tries she let go of the need to be in control. She had no idea what was happening, so be it, at least for tonight.

And slowly she even started to enjoy his little post-hypnotic suggestions. He certainly always enjoyed them, constantly fascinated how the human mind was working. Making her forget her name or gluing her hand to the spot, all that and Donna’s reaction to it amazed him. To Donna, her body reaction was even more interesting than her mind’s. The deeper she let the Doctor take her, the opener she felt to his suggestions. And along with this obedience came the familiar build-up of arousal.

“- and 3-2-1, wide awake.” Again the feeling of his touch on the back of her hand lifted the fog from her brain and she was aware of her surroundings. The library, the fireplace, the Doctor next to her who… for some reason leaned down to pick something up that was standing on the floor. A bottle filled with a clear liquid.

“Water?” Donna wondered when he took a sip from the bottle.

“Yup, tastes like water to me. What do you think?” He passed her the bottle.

“What did you do to it?” she asked suspiciously. 

“Nothing,” the Doctor replied and, because she kept frowning at him he added: “I’ve been drinking it myself. It’s just water.”

Slowly, keeping her eyes on him as if she expected a prank, Donna raised the bottle to her mouth. She tasted it and shuddered. “Alcohol? You’re drinking while hypnotising me!?”

“Of course I’m not,” he replied firmly but couldn’t banish the excited grin from his face. “It’s just water, Donna. Smell at it.”

Donna held the bottle close to her nose and sniffed, then she eyed the label up again and took another sip. “What kind of alien alcohol is this? It has no smell and looks like water but it’s high proof.”

“Is it?” the Doctor asked amused.

“Oh yes,” she mumbled, half confused half fascinated.

“What would you say if I’d tell you that all this is just happening in your head?” he asked.

“I’d say you’re wrong, because I can feel it,” she replied and felt herself slurring a little. Whatever this was, it got right into her head. “I feel warm and light headed and… all in all pretty drunk,” she snickered and brought the bottle to her lips again. There was no doubt about it, she was feeling pretty tipsy, this had to be alcohol.

“So?” the Doctor shrugged. “Why shouldn’t your mind make you feel this way after I told it that water gets you drunk?”

Donna knitted her eyebrows. “You mean I’m not really drunk, I just think I am?” she asked slowly, not sure if her intoxicated mind had put those pieces of information together correctly.

“Exactly, it’s a connection I taught your subconsciousness while you were under. Water leads to drunkenness,” he explained with exactly the kind of fascination he put into all his experiments. Donna couldn’t help like feeling a bit like a guinea pig and blushed.

“How long have I been sleeping that you were able to ‘teach’ me such a connection?” she asked and carefully placed the water bottle on the floor. Slowly she had enough of getting only-in-her-head-drunk. Forgetting her name, feeling unable to raise her hand, all that were funny little games, but now she felt drunk because of his words! This was a really complex reaction of body and mind, wasn’t it?

“Only for some minutes… People are very suggestible in trance, it didn’t take that long,” the Doctor said and finally stopped smiling. “Are you angry about it? I just wanted to show you how much influence the subconsciousness can have, I didn’t want to scare you.”

“It’s not the influence my mind has on me, it’s the influence _you_ have on my mind that’s new.” She was a little surprised by her own honesty. Was she even able to lie to him in this state? She would have to add this to her list of questions to ask once this was over.

“Do you want us to stop?” he offered genuine worried.

“No!” Another answer that was too quick and too honest, Donna realised embarrassed and added: “Just stop talking about my subconsciousness like it’s your new favourite toy. I’m kinda attached to it, so don’t break it.”

“Sorry, I got a little carried away,” he admitted and despite the apology she saw the intrigued twinkle in his eyes. “It’s the first time in centuries that someone let’s me do this.”

“Well, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who’s enjoying this,” Donna joked and shifted slightly in her seat, hoping the Doctor wouldn’t recognise how much exactly she was enjoying this. If she really was unable to lie, that could lead to all kinds of embarrassing confessions. Donna started to suspect he knew exactly what was going inside of her.

She shot him a questioning look. _What do you know?_

He smiled.

Donna swallowed dryly before sitting back. “On we go.”

He sent her back down, deeper than before, and again Donna was left with nothing more than the feeling of deep relaxation only disturbed by the persistent tingling in her lower anatomy. Even though “disturb” wasn’t quite the right word for it. While the Doctor had been enjoying planting different post-hypnotic suggestions in her mind and waking her up again, the feeling of arousal became as much of a part of falling back into trance as the clicking of his fingers did. It wasn’t disturbing the trance, it just naturally came along with it.

After some time, Donna could have sworn that it had only been some minutes, while later on she learned that about an hour had passed since she and the Doctor had entered the library, he didn’t establish another suggestion. Instead he leaned in closer to her and said: “You’ve been doing very well tonight, I know you’ve been nervous about this, but by now you’ll have realised that there’s nothing to be scared of, have you?”

Donna nodded drowsily, she was far too deep at the moment to give him a verbal answer but she knew he would notice even such small movements.

“And you deserve a reward for doing so well,” he continued. “You’re very aroused, aren’t you?”

Donna felt herself nodding. In a corner of her mind she frowned at herself, she wouldn’t have admitted this normally, would she? Even though she wasn’t sure why not, right now it seemed to be the most natural thing in the world.

“Right, I can see that you’re very tensed up. Would you like to release this tension?”

Again she nodded, more eagerly this time. Her breath was coming out in short, hot puffs and the moisture between her legs was slowly getting uncomfortable. Release sounded like a very tempting idea.

“In a moment I’m going to touch your hand and you will feel wide awake again. You will be very aware of the arousal that’s been on your mind all day and start touching yourself. Once you have climaxed, you will just go back down into trance.” Again he repeated his instructions for her until he brushed his fingertips over the back of her hand, just slightly more hesitant than before.

Donna’s eyes fluttered open, but she almost instantly squeezed them shut again. _Arousal_ didn’t even come close to what she felt.

“What the hell!?” she wondered through gritted teeth as her left hand wandered up to her breasts. She didn’t mean to, her hand just seemed to act on its own. “Are you bonkers!?” she snapped at the Doctor who seemed actually surprised.

“It’s okay, you’re really tensed up and it’s best not to hold it back for too long,” he tried to calm her, not that Donna felt any calmer now. Her thumb was drawing tantalising little circles through the fabric of her top while her other hand slowly wandered farther down. She had no idea how to stop them, it was like those hands didn’t belong to her.

“Do you know how much I hate you?” she whined frustrated. Partly because she was unable to control the situation and partly because she wished her hands would hurry up a little.

“See? You’re grouchy because you were holding back ever since we returned from Broadchurch. You’ll feel better after this,” he stated as if this fact would make up for Donna feeling so exposed in front of him. She certainly had made it a rule that he was not allowed to do this!… Or had she? Why hadn’t she?! She certainly had thought about it.

“After this- I’m going to- kill you,” she tried to sound threatening but her breath caught. Her fingers were pushing against the fabric of her pyjama bottoms and panting she rocked against them. She really wished she’d chosen to wear a skirt tonight. If she just would be able to regain control about herself, but apparently the Doctor and her subconsciousness were working together against her.

“There’s really no reason to be nervous about it,” he said and Donna whimpered. She was close - oh so close - and she certainly didn’t want to hear the Doctor’s voice while feeling like this, especially because the sound of it seemed to resonate in her mind. In trance she hadn’t thought about what his words meant, her subconsciousness had simply absorbed them, but now she felt as if she could hear the echo of his voice telling her exactly what to do. How to move her hands. Where to touch her skin.

No, Donna wasn’t in control of this situation. He was.

This idea was enough to send her over the edge. She cried out, something between an oath against the manipulative Martian and a relived sigh and before she could gather herself the familiar feeling of relaxation returned to take her deep down.

“That’s right, just sink back down,” the Doctor said and somehow his voice sounded a little more worried than before. “Y-you’ve done really brilliant today and when I’m going to touch your hand again you will wake up completely. The trance will clear away, only leaving the trigger back in your subconsciousness. You will feel very refreshed and nice, and-” he stopped for a split second before adding: “and you will find it very easy to remember everything we’ve done tonight. Have you understood? Good. 3-2-1, wide awake.”

Donna opened her eyes, but didn’t bother to sit up straight in her chair. Or to look at the Doctor. She just faced the fire and tried to wrap her head around… everything.

“In- how much trouble am I exactly?” the Doctor asked nervously after some seconds of tensed silence had passed. “Roughly speaking? On a scale from clip round the ears to… I’ve ruined our friendship?”

Finally Donna turned around to him, surprised by how worried he was looking at her. “You know you’re in trouble but you still made me do it?” she wondered.

“I didn’t expect to get into trouble until you were shouting at me,” he quickly justified. “I really thought it was a good idea! You were tensed up after all.”

Donna sighed. “You are hopeless, you really are. I was upset when your ship got into my head to translate stuff without you asking for permission. Did you really think I’d be okay with… this?”

Now it was the Doctor who seemed to sink down into his chair. Not relaxed but contrite. “I really didn’t think it’s a big deal, it’s a natural reaction, I told you I wouldn’t mind.”

“You have no idea what ‘limits’ are, have you?” she asked and realised that she wasn’t that angry with him. She knew her face was still brightly red with embarrassment and the aftermath of the orgasm, but she wasn’t mad with him. He really had no idea of limits, he hadn’t meant to hurt her. “Well, I s’pose I only have myself to blame. I didn’t make it a rule after all,” she said finally.

He glanced up at her, a hint of hope on his face that he might not have ruined their friendship. “You’re not as angry as I expected,” he pointed out.

“No… I’m not even as angry as _I_ expected,” Donna admitted slowly, wondering why that was. Now that she saw that the Doctor neither laughed at her, nor thought less of her after what he’d seen, she didn’t even feel too exposed anymore. It was still the weirdest situation she’d ever been in. “My God, I’ve just wanked in front of you!” she realised flustered but couldn’t help but laugh, the whole situation was just barking mad. “I hate you, I really do!”

“I’m not going to tell anyone that you enjoyed it,” he promised and risked a little smile himself. The shock that he’d gone too far still seemed to trouble him, but he realised that their friendship had come out of it unharmed.

“I did what?!” Donna sat up in her chair.

“You enjoyed it… well, obviously,” he explained and finally received the expected blow to the arm.

“No I didn’t!… Shut up!” her glare only lasted so long. “… ‘kay, maybe I did. A tiny bit, but don’t get cocky about it. I did most of the work, remember?”

Now the Doctor actually laughed. “Right, I’m horribly sorry. The next time I’ll make sure to lend you a hand.”

“You’re horrible!” Donna exclaimed and leaned closer to him so she could hit him more easily but he dodged her attacks, both all but crying with laughter. Finally he had no other option but to flee his chair and get some distance between the two of them.

Donna wiped her hand over her eyes. Despite her best effort to feel embarrassed she couldn’t help but to feel wonderful. This was partly due to the Doctor’s instructions to feel refreshed, she mused, and the mind-blowing orgasm, of course, but there was so much more to it. They were still able to kid around and the Doctor had been so afraid of losing her as a friend… Nothing seemed to have changed and this was the biggest relief Donna could have imagined.

This however brought up another question. “You were joking, right?” she asked slowly. “I mean, of course you were, but also about the ‘next time’ bit?” She glanced at the still chuckling Martian and tried not to look as if she was asking him to do it again - even though she hoped, prayed, that he would - she just wanted to hear if he’d meant it or not.

The Doctor had to take a deep breath before he was clam enough to shrug. “Tonight was fun, but I also crossed one of your limits… I’m not sure if we should risk that again.”

That was not a no, Donna realised and decided to stick to being honest with him. “I didn’t expect you to do it, Spaceman, that’s why I was angry… I was surprised. You didn’t cross a limit, because we only had two: Nothing ridiculous and no therapy.”

“That means next time you make ‘nothing sexual’ a rule too and we’re fine?” he wondered.

Donna hesitated. “Err- We’re fine the way everything is, aren’t we? It’s not exactly fair to change the rules in the middle of a game anyway,” she avoided his gaze. She certainly wouldn’t tell him that tonight she’d experienced one of the most intense orgasms in her life, she had cried out after all! Normally she wasn’t much of a screamer but tonight things had hardly been “normal” anyway.

“But this is not a game, you should be able to add as many rules as you want,” the Doctor objected firmly and she sighed.

“You’re really making an effort not to understand my subtle hints,” she glanced back at him with a telling look he didn’t seem to understand. She really had to spell it out for him: “I don’t want to make it a rule. Why… do you?”

Slowly, as if he expected a trap, he shook his head. “No, I really think you deserve feeling nice after you let me go that far.”

“You make it sound as if _I’m_ doing _you_ a favour.”

“You do!” he replied quickly and sat down in his chair again to look directly at Donna. “I know very few people who would let me probe their minds. And most of them were other Time Lords at my academy, very capable of expelling me from their heads if necessary… You couldn’t, so it must be incomparably scarier for you.”

Donna considered his words, realising that fear was one of the few emotions she hadn’t felt tonight. Nervousness - especially when she’d forgotten her name - worry, anger, and so much more… but not fear. “It’s not scary to me… dunno why, I suppose I’m hopelessly kinky when it comes to hypnosis.” She smiled but the Doctor seemed genuinely surprised, to him being under really appeared to be something to be worried about, Donna realised. If so, it was no surprise he’d wanted to make sure she really wanted it.

This reminded her of one thing on her questions-list. “You’ve hypnotised people before, but have you ever been hypnotised yourself? Earlier tonight you sounded like you really knew how it felt.”

“Yes- No- Yes and no,” he said haltingly. “I know how it feels because I asked others, but I’ve never been put into a trance myself. I guess I just don’t make a good subject… I used to have a friend though who was a real natural at hypnotising people. I let him run a test or two on me, but that didn’t involve the typical kind of trances. He didn’t seem to need them to manipulate people…” he trailed off, his look grew distant and Donna could all but see his mind wander back into his past. Silence hung over them and for some seconds Donna wondered whether he really had no idea of trances, he was looking pretty zoned out after all.

“Spaceman?” she asked after another awkward moment passed and to her relief he quickly shook his head as if he wanted to shake those memories off and his gaze returned into present time.

“You see it’s a bit complicated, but that’s nothing we should be worrying about,” he told her cheerfully, but Donna knew this little trip into his past had affected him more than he wanted to admit. “Where were we? Oh, yes! Next time. What do you think about tomorrow night? I left the trigger that induces the trance in your subconsciousness by the way, so I need to make sure not accidentally to click my fingers- Oh, there are still so many things I’d like to find out!”

“Tomorrow is fine by me,” she agreed and tried to push those gloomy feelings to the back of her mind. The past was the past and she would not make him talk about anything he didn’t want to remember. What they were having right now was great, brilliant actually, and the imagination that they would repeat it tomorrow made it almost impossible to brood over confusing things that had happened centuries ago.

“Fantastic, but first let’s go somewhere, shall we? There’s this planet I wanted to show you since forever! The perfect mix between Vikings and-”

“Whatever you want, Timeboy, but first I need to get some sleep - real sleep, mind you - and a shower,” she replied and finally stood up from the chair. She felt a bit groggy on her legs and was glad to find herself able to walk. “See you in about 8 hours,” she waved good-bye at him and left the library with a big smile on her face.


	3. Disturbance

“Donna?” the Doctor called into the depth of the TARDIS. She’d told him she just needed to put something on that “suited” the planet. That had been about an hour ago. The Doctor impatiently drummed his fingers against the monitors. “Their sun is imploding in 2,000 years, you might need to hurry up a tad.”

“Don’t get your knickers into a twist, I’m coming,” Donna replied and a moment later he could hear her in the corridor. “It’s not my fault the TARDIS has chosen this dress for me. All layers and bows. And don’t even ask me about the corset!”

She entered the control room with a self-conscious frown. “I’m looking like a chubby maypole,” she mumbled and tightened the gold-coloured robe that served as a belt. It softly rested on her waist and wonderfully contrasted the deep blue of her dress. The Doctor let his eyes wander upwards from her waist all the way to the gold-adorned neckline until Donna snapped him out of his staring: “Oi! Ground control to Martian, stop staring at me! If you want me to get changed again, just say it.”

_Don’t you dare ever take this off again!_ He thought, but his mouth knew better than that and replied almost automatically: “No, you’ve taken all this time putting it on, not to mention the trouble with the-” He unglued his eyes from the mesmerising sight in front of him before he continued with a curiously dry mouth. “Corset… So you might as well wear it. The TARDIS has quite an eye for contemporary fashion, you’ll blend right in,” he concluded as matter-of-factly as he could.

Donna opened her mouth to argue with him, but he doubted he’d survive another discussion about this dress without using expressions that would get him slapped for sure. Quickly he said: “So! New planet, new culture! They do resemble a mixture of earth’s viking- and medieval-age, but they never actually come close to your galaxy. They’re developing quickly though, today they’re travelling by ship and in only 130 years they’ll launch their first spaceship. Brilliant people! Very loyal… a bit rough and never miss a chance for a drink, but still very bright when it comes to-”

While the Doctor kept rambling, he and Donna stepped out of the TARDIS’s door and right into a panic crowd of people. They had landed on a grass-covered hill on a sunny day, it would have been idyllic if not for the dozens of people dashing about and screaming.

“Run!”

“It’s coming! The dragon’s coming!”

“My daughter, has anyone seen my daughter?! Please!”

“She’s got red hair, she’s lost! The monster only takes those away who’ve got red hair!”

Donna shot him a glare. “A dragon? You’ve brought me to planet with a ginger-eating _dragon_?!” Her words were drowned by the frantic screaming of the natives so the Doctor could pretend he had missed the accusing tone in her voice.

“I know, sounds like fun! Our kind of fun anyway,” he said with an excited grin.

“And I bet you want to follow these people and find out more,” she replied knowingly.

“Care to join me?” He offered her his arm.

A smile crawled on her face - a dragon sounded like a tempting adventure after all - and she linked arms with him to follow the people to wherever they were heading.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“Is anyone missing?” the voice of a gigantic, bearded man echoed off of the cave walls. Most of the scared people, together with the Doctor and Donna, had gathered around him in a den big enough to fit an apartment building. His voice was loud and rough and Donna doubted anyone would dare to step forward to him while he was glaring into the crowd as if he was about to kill the first person to make a sound.

She had just thought that, when an elderly man cried: “Yes, my daughter! My Deenah!” He hobbled over to the gigantic man in the middle of their circle. It was almost comical to watch the fragile, old man talking to the giant, completely unafraid of his counterpart. Then the beard of the giant suddenly parted to reveal a compassionate smile and he rested his hand on the man’s shoulder.

For a moment he even looked as if he was about to cry, but then he pulled himself together and hollered: “The slaughtering of our gingers has to be put to an end NOW!” and the crowd around him cheered approvingly. “We will kill the dragon and reconquer our castle!” Another wave of cheering. “Who volunteers to join me in this noble fight?” Silence.

The giant looked about, trying to spot any volunteers, but the people were avoiding his gaze altogether, apparently no-one wanted to risk his life in such a fight.

Donna knew it would happen before she saw him doing it. The Doctor cheerfully raised his hand and, because no-one saw him at first - he and Donna were by far the smallest people in the cave - cleared his throat loudly before saying: “We’re game.”

The whole group of people turned around to them.

“Why did you say ‘we’?” Donna hissed so only the Doctor would hear her. “This dragon kills gingers. I’m not supposed to be the one fighting it, I should be protected.”

“Ah, but I know you don’t mean that,” he replied cleverly. “A Donna Noble’s not waiting in a cave for a group of men saving her from a dragon.”

Donna scowled at him then she sighed and finally raised her hand. “Yeah, _we_ ’re game.”

The giant frowned at the two of them. “Well… thank you, but who exactly are you?”

“Donna Noble and the Doctor,” the Doctor introduced them and waved to the scared people in front of them. “Hello.” A few of them awkwardly waved back, but most of the people simply eyed them up with a mix of confusion and suspicion.

The Doctor delivered one of his usual stories. Travellers. Just dropped by for a nice holiday. Here to help. Donna was only half listening to him, she knew this part of their adventures by heart. Instead she scanned the crowd and recognised one striking fact. Besides herself she only found one person with red hair and her chest tightened. It was a boy, hardly older than six, holding his mother’s hand.

It was the giant’s loud voice that brought Donna back into reality. “Welcome Doctor and Donna! I’m Emiljan, the chieftain of these brave people,” Emiljan gestured at the crowd and Donna saw his eyes twinkle with genuine affection and pride. This enormous man loved his people and he was scared of losing another one of them, Donna realised and felt herself taking the Doctor’s hand. Despite his appearance Emiljan strangely reminded her of her Martian.

“Tomorrow we will move out and we will hunt this monster down,” Emiljan announced, addressing everyone. “Whoever changes his mind can join us. For tonight: we’re going to set up our camp here. Doctor, you and your wife are welcome to stay as long as you please.”

The Doctor’s and Donna’s instant protests that they were “not married! - So not married!” were drowned by Emiljan loudly assigning tasks to different groups of people. After his announcement, everyone slowly scattered in the cave, lighting fires, preparing food or sleeping berths.

“Do you think it’s a real dragon?” Donna asked the Doctor.

“Probably not,” he replied thoughtfully. “I need to see it to tell for sure, but I guess it’s just a creature from another planet that has somehow lost its way and ended up here.”

“Where it’s trying to find new friends by killing all the gingers,” Donna said bitterly. Her eyes were tracing the red-haired boy who shot her a suspicious glance as he and his mother passed them by.

The Doctor didn’t answer.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The sun had set and so had the bustling about of the natives. A scarce supper, made of ingredients the food-group had collected within a radius of 30 feet, had been shared and slowly everyone was getting ready to spend the night huddled together around little fireplaces, which provided the only source of light. Donna counted four of these in total, she and the Doctor were sitting at the fireplace closest to the entry of the cave together with a couple of people, among them Emiljan and the ginger boy with his mother. Donna was secretly relieved that she couldn’t spot Deenah’s father amongst their group and instantly felt guilty for thinking something like this. It was just that whichever group he’d settled with, he was certainly telling them about his daughter… and it would be a sad story, because she would be dead by now.

Not that the things Emiljan told them were any happier. He told the Doctor everything he knew about the “dragon” and despite the horror he was talking about, he made sure to look calm, almost cheerful. He wore a constant, gentle smile beneath his beard, always ready to comfort anyone who showed a sign of despair. Maybe the time she’d spent with the Doctor was to blame, but Donna could easily see through Emiljan’s facade, he was just as worried as anyone else, but he made a point of concealing it.

A chilly breeze went through the cave and made Donna shiver. Despite the heat of the flames she slid closer to the Doctor. She felt like hugging. The cave was damp and a dark mood hung over the people the fires could not dispel. She really wanted someone to hold her right now, the Doctor preferably, but she just sat there and pulled her knees closer to her chest, tracing the dancing flames with her eyes. Like last night. Only that she felt nothing like last night. Not nervous, not excited, not curious. Just sad and scared.

“Have you ever fought a monster like this, Doctor?” Emiljan asked and drew the attention of their little group to the two strangers among them again.

“I haven’t seen your… monster, yet,” the Doctor replied haltingly, “but from what you’ve told me I might know a way to defeat it.”

Donna glanced at him, trying to figure if this was a yes or a no, but before she could decide the chieftain clapped his hands cheerfully. “That’s what I wanted to hear! Tell me more.”

“Oh, it’s a kind of- trap I have in mind,” he explained evasively and a brief look at Donna told her it was some scientific-gadget he planned on using.

“A trap?” Emiljan wondered, not completely convinced. “Our dragon is an enormous beast. Can you really build a trap that’s able to contain such a monster?”

“Sure,” he waved the chieftain’s doubts away with his hand, “I’ve got everything I need in my… box. The blue one on the hill, remember? Tomorrow Donna and I will go there and be back in a tick,” he emphasised the “tick” with a click of his fingers, “and then we can capture your dragon withou-,” the Doctor stopped talking and his eyes widened.

Surprised, Emiljan and some of the others turned around, a gasp went through their group, everyone expected to see the dragon or another horrible monster behind their backs, but it hadn’t been a monster that’d scared the Doctor. It had been his own gesture and the feeling of Donna’s head sinking onto his shoulder that quickened his hearts’ beat.

_Idiot!_ Was the one thought that shot through his head as he turned around to Donna, who was looking as if she’d nodded off. _IdiotIdiotIdiot!_ How could he have been so careless as to click his fingers here?! They had talked about him leaving this trigger in hardly 24 hours ago.

“Doctor, your wife-,” Emiljan started worriedly, but the Doctor completely ignored him. He was busy holding Donna in an upright position and feeling her pulse. It was slow but unsteady. She was definitely back in trance, but she knew something was wrong. For a split-second he hoped if he just waited, Donna would wake up herself - and certainly she could do that after some time - but it wouldn’t be a pleasant experience. Certainly not the way he wanted her second trance to end. No, it was his fault she was in this situation and he had to make sure she would come out of it as unharmed as possible.

“Can you hear me?” he asked and heard how shaky his voice was. Would she respond to him at all under these circumstances? _Not if you sound so insecure yourself_ , he scolded himself mentally. Donna wouldn’t let him guide her as long as he sounded as if he had lost all control over the situation, which, frankly, he had.

“Give the Doctor and his wife some privacy,” Emiljan instructed his people and when no-one moved, the greater part of them too curious to tear their eyes away from the scene in front of them, he added more authority to his voice, still keeping it low enough so he wouldn’t disturb Donna: “Didn’t you hear me?! Off you go!” The group reluctantly stood up and scattered, seeking a place at one of the other fireplaces.

The Doctor took a deep breath to gather himself. Right now the chieftain was doing a better job looking out for Donna than he was, he realised, and shoved all the doubtful and self-loathing thoughts to the back of his mind before trying again: “Donna, I asked if you can hear me,” this time he managed to sound calm and even a bit authoritative.

“Yes,” Donna eventually responded with a frown flashing over her face. High time to get her out.

“Good, because I want you to listen to me carefully. Just focus on my voice and relax, don’t let any sounds disturb you, just listen to me.” His soothing voice sounded hypocritical to his own ears, considering the situation he had brought her into, but it seemed to work on Donna. Her features relaxed and her heartbeat slowly adjusted. “That’s it,” he commented, allowing himself to feel a hint of relief. “Just relax for me, you’re doing very well.”

He made sure she was calm before counting her up again. He hadn’t seriously harmed her, he could tell by the way she was working with him, but the question of how she would react was a different one altogether. He felt strangely reminded of last night. He’d been worried about her reaction as well, he’d been sure he’d made an unforgivable mistake, too, but Donna hadn’t minded.

So maybe there was hope for him again…?

“Spaceman?” Donna mumbled and looked at him. It was the moment of confusion and drowsiness that followed every trance before the memory of what had happened returned to her. Her eyes widened in shock, she looked about to get her bearings. A couple of natives from the other fireplaces had stood up to catch a glimpse of what was going on. Donna quickly struggled out of his embrace.

“What did you- How dare you- _Have you gone completely mad_!?”Her voice cracked and he could see tears of anger and embarrassment well in her eyes.

_No, this time I’ve really messed it up._

Instinctively he reached out to comfort her, but Donna backed off of his touch as if she expected to get hurt. “Don’t touch me,” she snapped and stood up to get even more distance between them. The Doctor was rendered speechless seeing Donna’s scared reaction, he just looked at her and his perplex silence seemed to upset her even more. She stormed past him straight out of the cave into the darkness of the night.

Finally, too late, the Doctor found his voice and called after her, but she didn’t hear him, or chose not to hear him. Quickly he struggled to his feet to run after her, but a large hand on his shoulder held him back.

“Give her time,” Emiljan advised him with a sympathetic smile, the Doctor had completely forgotten about his presence. “She’s not going to listen to you now.”

“But she can’t wander about on her own!” he replied and shook Emiljan’s hand off with a stern look. “There’s a dragon on the loose, remember? And according to your story he’s especially fond of gingers.”

Emiljan’s face lost all colour and by the time he had nodded his okay the Doctor had already dashed out of the cave.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Donna had lost her way. She must have taken a wrong turn in the dark, because she couldn’t remember crossing a river on their way to the cave. She stopped midway on a wooden bridge, leaned against the balustrade and hung her head. If she had lost her way she could just as well take the chance to cry in peace. God, she had been so naive. For nearly 24 hours she’d believed she could put her faith into another person just once and get out of it unharmed.

At least her illusion had only lasted one day and not months like it had last time; better find out now than in a week or a month. She had to press her palm against her lips to prevent herself from sobbing out loud. It didn’t matter that no-one could have heard her, she wasn’t willing to openly show how hurt she was, otherwise it would be unnecessarily difficult to persuade herself later that she didn’t mind.

A cracking sound to her left made Donna wince and she spun around. The darkness concealed whoever had found her from her view, but she was well aware that only one person was silly enough to follow her into the night of a foreign planet.

“Bugger off, Doctor!” she hiccoughed loudly and wiped her hands roughly over her face. She didn’t want to let him see her tears, she didn’t want him see her vulnerable ever again.

Silence followed her exclamation and she knew the Doctor was still standing there, watching her.

“I said: _bugger off_!” she shouted at the night. “I don’t want to talk to you! I don’t even want to see you! You knew it was a secret, _my_ secret, but you made a point of showing all these people what a freak I am! I thought I could trust you! I- I actually trusted you and you- you’re such a-,” the image of her visitor stepping out of the dark cut Donna off.

She gaped at the sight in front of her and hiccoughed faintly. It was not the Doctor, instead she was looking right at an enormous, ruby lizard and Donna didn’t care that the Doctor wanted to call it an alien. It had four legs with big, razor-sharp claws, a long tail, a muzzle peppered with razor sharp teeth, every single one of them about as long as Donna’s arm, and was covered in rock-hard scales. It was a dragon and, by the looks of it, a particularly hungry specimen.

“You’re such a dragon… and I just shouted at you,” she concluded slowly. The dragon growled angrily as if to prove Donna that it minded her earlier outburst. The ginger swallowed and soothingly raised her hands. “Listen… I wasn’t shouting at you. I mistook you for a friend who’s been a real idiot. B-believe me, you’d have shouted at him, too, if you were me… Well, maybe not, maybe you’d have simply eaten him…,” she was talking in a soft and, what she hoped to be, uneatable tone while carefully taking a step backwards.

The dragon hissed and waggled its tale threateningly. In a split second, Donna made up her mind. She could stay and hope that the dragon didn’t feel like eating his favourite snack, gingers, or she could leg it. She decided for the latter and spun around, dashing over the bridge and farther away from the cave without a single clue where she was heading. The furious snarl behind her and the noise of clicking claws on gravel told her she couldn’t stop, couldn’t even slow down, if she valued her life.

_Can alien-dragons spit fire?_ The question suddenly crossed her mind, because she was certainly not far enough away from the monster to survive such an attack, when suddenly a familiar humming cut through the night.

The TARDIS? Donna looked around, trying to spot the blue box in the night without slowing down, but it wasn’t until she heard the Doctor yelling her name that she spotted him and the old girl on a hill to her left. He was close enough for her to hear him, but she doubted she would be able to run all the way up the hill before the dragon caught up with her. Her lungs were already burning and she heard the monster approaching quickly.

“Donna, it’s a cumbagon!” he shouted, but his voice hardly reached Donna’s ears.

“Great! At least I know the name of the thing that’s gonna digest me,” she hollered back.

He said something else but this time the dragon howled behind Donna and she couldn’t hear him. With panic almost choking her, she had to take a deep breath before she was able to shout again: “What?!”

This time the Doctor kept his instructions short so she would hear all of them: “Drop to the ground! Just drop and don’t move!”

Donna frowned, even though she doubted he was able to see it from afar. Drop to the ground? That was his master plan? Donna threw a glance over her shoulder, the dragon, or cumbagon, or whatever had almost reached her. If it had poked out its tongue it would have been able to get a taste of her. Donna squeezed her eyes shut; she didn’t want to die like this. Not here and not now and not while feeling angry with the Doctor, but just giving up and dropping on the ground?

_The heck with it, you better know what you’re doing, Spaceman!_

Donna forced her legs to stop running, ignoring her survival instinct screaming at her in disbelief, and dropped down on the ground. The cumbagon, running too fast to stop, simply dashed past her. Actually it dashed over her, making Donna feel as if a train was running her over. It was loud and there was movement all around her and then it was gone and silent. She buried her face in her arms and waited for the monster to return and get its dinner… but nothing happened.

Wearily Donna raised her head and found herself looking right at the enraged dragon. It hissed and snarled and banged its thick tail furiously against… nothing. The cumbagon was caught in nothing. Donna blinked and by the time she’d struggled to her feet the Doctor was at her side.

“Are you alright?!” he asked and checked her arms and back for visible injuries.

“Yeah,” she muttered, still gaping at the dragon that was fighting against the air. “What did you do to it?”

“I put it in a cage. Transparent but incredibly robust. It was a trap and you just stopped in time! Two steps more and you’d been caught in there with our friend,” he explained, nodding towards the cumbagon that was just proving that it indeed could spit fire. Unimpressed, the invisible cage bore up. “Are you sure he didn’t hurt you?” the Doctor produced the sonic from his pocket. “It looked like a pretty close call from where I was standing.”

“Didn’t look much different from my point of view,” Donna mumbled and let the Doctor scan her, feeling numb. Too many emotions were swirling around in her gut; anger, betrayal, embarrassment… but also relief and gratefulness and all that was mixed with the remaining adrenaline from her escape.

She couldn’t decide which one to act out, yet, so it was the Doctor who spoke up first: “You shouldn’t have gone outside. You knew what was waiting out here for you!”

Donna glared at him and anger won over the other emotions, making them stand back and watch it flare up in awe. “Nothing worse than what was waiting for me back in the cave,” she snapped. The Doctor glanced up from her arm, his eyes proving that she had hurt his feelings.

_Good_ , her anger decided grimly and embarrassment about her exposed secret cheered it on. “Don’t you dare act all worried now, don’t act as if you care, because tonight you proved that you don’t. And stop. Bleeping. Me.” She battered the hand with his sonic away.

“I just saved your life,” he protested weakly.

Donna just snorted, not knowing what to say but not ready to admit it either. Of course he had, but for some reason that didn’t make up for the betrayal she felt. Not quite.

Sensing that rationality wouldn’t suffice to appease her, the Doctor let out a rueful sigh, raking a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he said and Donna crossed her arms defensively in front of her chest. _Go on_. “I wasn’t thinking, I- didn’t even realise what happened before it was too late,” he explained. “I’m using this gesture all the time and I just forgot we had-,” he raised his hand and placed his thumb and middle-finger against each other to demonstrate how naturally he used to use it. Then he stopped. Donna’s face had lost all colour, her eyes were wide and fearful. She expected him to do it again and finally the Doctor realised what his mistake had been.

“I shouldn’t have left it in,” he said, more to himself than to her and lowered his hand. “Donna, I’m sorry, I should never have established a trigger. It’s just something you usually do and I never planned on using it without your consent, but - well, it doesn’t matter. I shouldn't have that kind of power over you. Sorry. Really, I am.”

“I know you are,” Donna replied and he saw her lip trembling the slightest. For a second he expected her to start crying but then she clenched her jaw. “But it was my secret and now everybody knows.”

“No-one knows!” he assured her. “They’re more likely to believe that a curse or wizardry affected you than a complex psychological phenomenon.”

“Great! They don’t think I’m a freak but a witch, that’s so much better.”

“You’re not a freak.”

Donna rolled her eyes and slowly it dawned on the Doctor that this was the crux of it all. That all this time she didn’t just feel embarrassed about him knowing about her sexual preferences, but that deep down something was telling her that she was wrong for having them, and that was why she couldn’t forgive him showing others.

“You are not a freak,” he repeated, more firmly this time.

Tears welled up in Donna’s eyes as she asked: “What else do you call someone like me?”

“A lot of words come to mind,” he replied as innocently as possible. “’Freak’ is none of them, though.”

“You should brush your vocab up, Martian,” she said bitterly and wiped her hand over her eyes.

“My vocabulary is fairly sophisticated,” he objected and waited for Donna to look at him through the film of tears before he added: “if I disagreed with your preferences, I would be able to tell you in many different ways, not to mention all the languages and dialects. In fact, I could spend the next-,” he paused, quickly estimating the time he’d need. “-96 months right at this spot saying: ‘You’re wrong for what you like’ in different ways. Why, do you think, am I not going to do that?”

“Because even loony Martians need to eat and sleep sometimes.” Donna sniffed.

“True,” he admitted with a smile, knowing that she wouldn’t be joking if she hadn’t got the idea behind his question.

“Okay, I know you accept it because we’re friends,” Donna muttered.

“No, come on, you know that’s not true,” he shook his head dismissively. “I don’t accept things which I think are wrong, not even in my friends- _especially_ not in my friends,” he corrected himself. Donna furrowed her brow, doubtful whether or not to believe him, so he softly prodded: “Do you think I’d have taken part in it if I disagreed with it?”

“S’pose not,” she admitted reluctantly and wiped her hand over her eyes. “Does that make me more normal or you less?”

He chortled. “Are you sure you want to measure normalcy by my standards?”

“At least in terms of kinks,” she shrugged and with a hint of playfulness she added: “Or is there something I don’t know about you? Any hidden kinks of your own, or are you just running around, borrowing other people’s fantasies?”

The Doctor felt himself blushing in the darkness, but Donna was too busy laughing about his shocked expression to press him on that matter. The night had been tiring enough for her, he mused and silently thanked Fortuna for this.

“Never mind,” Donna sighed eventually. “Apology accepted. I was just hurt, because it’s such a big thing for me, but you didn’t do it on purpose, so let’s just forget about it.”

He opened his mouth, wanting to tell her that it was a big thing for him, too, but after tonight… after being so careless… he couldn’t find the words to make it sound convincing. “I’ll be more careful from now on,” he muttered instead.

Donna curled her lips in amusement. “No, you won’t. You’re just not the careful type, but that’s okay. I’ll just be careful for both of us next time… Let’s go back to Emiljan, shall we? Tell him you caught his scary dragon.”

They started for the cave and somewhere along the way the Doctor tentatively reached for Donna’s hand. He secretly let out a sigh of relief when she didn’t flinch at his touch and instead intertwined her fingers with his. She was still there, still trusted him even though he’d hurt her twice after she’d opened up to him like this. Stern the Doctor took the decision to be more careful, no matter how difficult it might be. He would ask for more rules, clearer boundaries, at least for now, until he got the hang of living up to her trust.

Thinking about that… there was something that kept him wondering. “What did you mean when you said you’d be careful for both of us _next time_?… Will there be a next time?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Donna mumbled, letting her fringe fall into her face so the Doctor wouldn’t see her blush in the darkness. “You have to take the trigger out though!”

“Of course!… But- why?” he asked slowly and furrowed his brow, confused. “After all that’s happened tonight, you’d let me do it again?”

She shrugged. “I suppose I’m just hopelessly kinky when it comes to hypnosis, but not… everything that’s happened tonight was bad.”

“P-pardon?” he didn’t need to see her face to tell she was getting excited. He felt her pulse quickening and her temperature rising just by holding her hand and it confused and fascinated him at once.

“It was a weird feeling, you know? I wanted to wake up but couldn’t. I was really worried and then you started talking and I relaxed. I couldn’t help it…,” she explained and the Doctor stiffened. This was exactly what he had not wanted to make her feel like. He wanted her to feel safe with him, not vulnerable.

“I promise you will never feel like that again,” he said silently, but Donna suddenly raised her head and shot him a bewildered look.

“Haven’t you been listening? This was the sexiest thing that ever happened to me- D-don’t get me wrong,” she quickly added when the Doctor’s jaw dropped. “If you ever try something like this in front of an audience again, I’m going to skin you alive, but as long as we’re in private…” Embarrassed she trailed off, but the Doctor wasn’t even close to dropping the topic.

“You enjoyed it?!” he wondered out loud and Donna gave his hand a firm squeeze.

“Stop sounding so shocked! I thought we were clear on the fact that I’m a freak and that you won’t judge me for it!”

“I’m not judging you! I’m just confused… what you are telling me sounds horrible. Didn’t you feel… vulnerable?”

A mischievous smile played about Donna’s lips when she said: “’course I did, that’s what makes it interesting. I was really under your control. It’d been perfect if not for the group of viking-aliens gaping at me.”

The Doctor did his best not to stare at her, really he did, but it was difficult. He’d thought he’d finally understood her rules, treating her as carefully as possible, but now she revealed these new feelings - well, new to him at least - and left him more puzzled than ever.

“You don’t get it, do you?” she asked sympathetically and he, glad that she understood, slowly shook his head.

“Donna, I’m clever. I’m really, really clever, but no. I’ve no idea what you want.” It felt good admitting it, new, but good.

She snickered. “Poor Martian, remind me to give you a manual once we’re back in the TARDIS.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled. He didn’t like manuals, but something told him he’d read this one very carefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, you cannot get “stuck” in trance. Mark Wiseman, a great hypno-kink author, compared it to getting stuck “in a nap” in his book _Mind Play_. That just doesn’t happen. And no, waking yourself up doesn’t hurt, but I believe it to be pretty unpleasant compared to the usual, gentle process of emerging. I exaggerated those two points for plot’s sake, but I didn’t want to scare anyone off of hypnosis, so that’s why I’m putting this all-clear at the end of it.


	4. The Calm within the Storm

With a yawn, Donna watched the sun emerge from behind the horizon and tint the sky in different shades of orange. She would have appreciated the wonderful view she had from the window of the tower, but she was far too tired to appreciate anything but the idea of her own bed in the TARDIS. If only the Doctor would hurry up answering Emiljan’s questions. Annoyed, Donna pulled her legs onto the bed and wrapped her arms around her knees.

The last night had been tiring, and her escape from being eaten by an alien-dragon had been the funny bit. After having caught the cumbagon, she and the Doctor had made their way back to the cave where she had hoped the others would still be fast asleep so she could at least take a short nap. Of course she had not been that lucky. The chieftain and a couple of men he had apparently coaxed into following him had been about to move out to go looking for the dragon when they had spotted her and the Doctor.

“It’s good to see you two, we thought you were dead,” Emiljan had exclaimed happily. His good mood only lasted so long until the Doctor had told him that they had already “killed” their dragon and thus had taken the pleasure of beheading the monster who’d erased a third of his people himself. The Doctor had decided it was safest to tell the natives the dragon was dead and not just caught in a big, invisible cage that was mysteriously linked to his alien ship. Besides, Donna doubted Emiljan would like to hear that they planned to return his “monster” to its home planet instead of, how Emiljan had put it, “poke its evil head on a stick and show it to the people”.

Once this had been done, Donna had been sure they could go home, but no. Emiljan wanted to hear the story of their victory, the whole, detailed story, and of course there needed to be a big banquet and- Donna had stopped listening to what else there needed to be, she had mentally waved good-bye to her bed and followed the group of carolling people back to their, now free, castle, hoping no-one would suggest taking the long way over the bridge where they would find the caged dragon.

The door to her room creaked open and brought Donna back into the present. A second later the Doctor poked his head inside. “Are you asleep?”

“No, I was waiting for the _men_ to finish talking,” she replied and returned to looking out of the window so she didn’t have to look at him. She minded that she had yet again been excluded from a discussion, just because of patriarchal politics. She had been the one who had been hunted by a dragon last night, not them.

“I thought you might want to take the chance and catch up on sleep,” he said, ignoring her snippy undertone and a moment later sat down on the double bed next to her. “Could be worse,” he commented running his palms over the mattress. He was right, for a bunch of aliens living in a castle and getting eaten by dragons, their furniture was fairly modern; Donna believed she’d even spotted a radio when they had been guided upstairs before Emiljan dragged the Doctor into his “office”. An office in a castle on an alien planet; Donna couldn’t help but marvel at how bonkers this all was. Then she had been brought into a room to wait like a good little girl her fascination for this planet had decreased rapidly though, and, despite her exhaustion, annoyed her enough to make sleeping impossible.

Not wanting to admit that her moods had kept her from sleeping she lied, “I wasn’t tired,” and then continued before the Doctor could object. “So, are we ready to go now? As far as I remember, we still have to see a dragon home.”

“I know,” he said and suddenly sounded as if he, too, was just missing his bed. Donna finally turned her head to look at him, surprised. By now she knew him well enough to understand that he could go on zero sleep if an adventure was calling, other things however always seemed to bring up the old man inside of him. “But Emiljan insists that we join his banquet in our honour,” he rubbed his face. “And as far as I know such banquets, there will be a lot of important people congratulating themselves for the dragon’s ‘death’.”

“Are you sure we shouldn’t tell them their dragon’s still alive?” she asked. He shook his head and for a second Donna had to fight the urge to reach out and touch him. In the light of the rising sun he was looking as tired as Donna felt and the way they were sitting next to each other on the bed made it seem strangely appropriate to get closer. She was clever enough to wait and let the moment pass and focus her attention on the cumbagon instead. A lost alien dragon in an invisible cage should be enough to occupy her mind, she hoped. “Would they really kill him?”

“To them he is just a monster that killed their friends and relatives. Emiljan didn’t seem to be a bad person, but I highly doubt he’d allow such a ‘monster’ to live. No, best we pretend he is dead until the banquet is over and we get back to the TARDIS,” he explained and let his gaze wander out of the window. Donna nodded silently, what was she supposed to say? The cumbagon _had_ killed all these people and a little part of her understood that they wanted him dead. The image of the ginger boy and Deenah’s father appeared in front of her eyes again and she couldn’t bring herself to blame them for wanting the monster’s head. At the same time she knew she couldn’t disagree with the Doctor, either. The cumbagon was lost, it had needed food and killing was in his nature, but… wasn’t it wrong to help such a creature escape?

Donna sighed, not happy with either answer, “I just hope fake-revenge is enough for them to cope with their grief.”

“Revenge doesn’t help people heal. I’m not even sure time does,” the Doctor said and when he looked at her, she saw him smiling at her. “Not being alone helps, though.”

She took his hand in hers and replied the smile. A knock on the door interrupted them.

“Lady Noble, the chieftain sent me to help you prepare for the banquet. May I come in?” a female voice asked from behind the door.

“Prepare?” Donna silently mouthed at the Doctor so the girl wouldn’t hear her.

He nodded, then pointed at her dress that was covered in dust and mud from her escape last night and formed a word with his lips that sounded suspiciously like “bath”.

Donna frowned but told the girl to come in. It was never easy to tell with aliens that looked just like humans, but Donna would have guess the girl to be no older than 20, her blond hair was just bright enough to consider her strawberry blond and not ginger, but Donna believed she hadn’t slept well as long as the dragon had been on the loose. Who knew how choosy such a monster was.

The girl smiled coyly at them and touched her hand to the front of her neck. Donna watched her, interested, but the girl spoke up before she could ask what the gesture meant.

“Your bath is ready, my lady. I am going to take care of your clothes and then join you in the bathroom.”

“Join me?” Donna echoed.

Her surprise seemed to confuse the girl, “y-yes. I am Bethia, the chieftain personally chose me to help you prepare.”

“And that includes taking a bath with me?” Donna asked, only half-angry because the girl suddenly blush brightly red and she couldn’t help but take pity on her.

“She’s not joining you like this,” the Doctor was quick to explain the situation to Donna. “She will stick around and help you, it’s not common for a lady to get dressed or bath on her own around here.”

Bethia nodded, relieved that the misunderstanding had been resolved and happily added, “he is right, I am here to help both of you.”

Again it was the Doctor’s turn to nod his agreement, until he suddenly stopped and looked at Bethina, confused. “P-pardon? Did you say _both of us_?”

“See, it’s not so much fun when you’re getting a bathroom-buddy as well, is it?” Donna teased the shocked looking Doctor.

“A-am I not to your liking? I can send someone else if you wish,” Bethia said, close to tears, she seemed to believe Donna and the Doctor were hesitating because they didn’t like her.

“Don’t be daft,” Donna said softly and walked over to the worried girl. “We are just not used to this kind of… tradition. I’d be glad to have you help me, love.” Bethia positively beamed at her for being allowed to stay. Donna turned around to the Doctor to hear his response.

“Good, Bethia, you can stay with Donna. And I’ll… be fine on my own,” he stuttered.

Benthia frowned and for a second it seemed she was about to propose getting the Doctor another girl to help him, but Donna chose to help him before things were getting even more awkward. “Ah, don’t mind him. It’s his own fault if he wants to miss out. Can you go ahead? I just need a minute,” Bethia nodded eagerly, glad that at least she could help Donna and vanished through the door with her dress billowing behind her.

“Well, I did not see that coming,” the Doctor mumbled, once the door clunked shut.

“Do you think I did?” Donna replied, with her arms akimbo. “Would it have killed you to let the poor girl help you?”

“It wasn’t like she offered me a drink!” he retorted and gestured at the door. “Have you seen how young she is? What should I have said?!”

“How about ‘today’s my lucky day. All hail to the Martian Gods’, or whatever you lot say when a hot, young girl offers to take a bath with them,” she prompted when suddenly a thought crossed her mind. “I mean, if you rather had a hot, young boy, I’m sure Bethia could arrange something…”

“No thank you, her gender was not the reason I refused,” he grumbled and Donna shrugged. After having met Jack Harkness she knew nothing was impossible, and even if the Doctor had mentioned to her that his people were somewhat prim, it didn’t mean he could not go out there and enjoy himself a little.

“It’s okay if you were…”

“I know, but I’m not.”

“You sure?”

“How can I not be sure?”

“You just refused to bathe with Bethia,” Donna pointed out and he playfully threw one of the gigantic pillows from the bed at her to shut her up. She dodged it, giggling, and then escaped through the door before he could aim the next one a little better. Alone in the room the Doctor leaned back against the headrest of the bed and watched the sun lose touch with the horizon on its way up. Only then did he start to wonder why he had refused. Her age… well, yes, but that was not the main reason; she had been of age anyway and he knew that this version of himself enjoyed a bit of a flirt. No, for some reason it would have felt wrong to get close to this girl while he and Donna…

“While me and Donna, what?” he asked himself and pushed himself up from the bed, knowing that he had no answer to that question, except that she had just assumed he might not be interested in women at all. So, whatever they were, he doubted it was what he wanted them to be.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When there was something Emiljan and his people seemed to hate more than dragons that ate their gingers, it was order. When the Doctor arrived in the ball room, the banquet to honour him and Donna was already in progress without one of them being there. The “banquet” all in all looked more like a loud mix of a bar fight and a ball, with people dancing around their jousting friend.

The Doctor crossed the hall, dodged a chair someone had thrown at his opponent or friend, and already felt a little deaf from the different groups of musicians all playing at once, when he had reached Emilijan’s table. He couldn’t help but smile, if he could have chosen between a royal banquet and this pandemonium, he would choose this every day of the week.

“Have you seen Donna?” he shouted at Emiljan so the chieftain could hear him through the turmoil.

“Not, yet!” Emiljan hollered back and offered the Doctor a piece of meat that suspiciously looked like someone had already tried to eat it, but failed. He refused politely and Emiljan chuckled, making some kind of comment about such a thin man killing the dragon that had even made him tremble, which was half drowned in the noise of the party. The Doctor decided to overhear it and reached for the glass in front of him. It tasted somewhat like a wine he had tried before and decided it was safe to drink.

“Oh, look!” the chieftain exclaimed and pointed at something at the door, but before he could tell the Doctor exactly what he meant a big plate with fish came flying towards them. It missed the Doctor but hit Emiljan right in the face, the giant man shouted and with a wild grin jumped over the table to get involved in the fight.

The Doctor laughed, not only because the man who’d thrown the plate shrieked and tried to run away from the grinning Emiljan, but also because this was the moment he realised that the chieftain had been pointing at Donna, who eyed the whole scenery suspiciously from the door. He stood up and tried to reach Donna as quickly as possible with still people dancing and fighting, sometimes simultaneously, everywhere.

“What happened? Did someone start a fight? Did _you_ start a fight?” Donna asked him, once he was close enough to hear her, which was pretty close. He could see that someone had laundered her dress and she smelled new, not bad but different. That was probably due to Bethia and whatever she had bathed Donna in, the girl also seemed to have done Donna’s hair up in the local fashion.

“Nothing happened, the banquet has just started,” he told her, amused.

For a moment she seemed scared and he was ready to guide her back to their table safely, when she suddenly shook her head with a smile. “They are bonkers. All of them,” she giggled, “and I have to be, too, because I want to try this kind of dance.”

“I guess you’ve tried the wine?” he said with a smile. It seemed to take more than a slightly unconventional party to discourage Donna.

“One glass or two,” she giggled again and shrugged. “I ran away from a dragon and haven’t slept all night; I am allowed to get a little drunk.”

“Agreed.” He replied and together they headed for their table where neither of them was brave enough to try the ominous meat, but the fish was delicious and Donna had found out that she simply had to shout a loud “Oi!” through the hall to make sure someone threw some bread at them; if to be polite or to start a fight was beyond them, but it worked. “It’s not the kind of banquet you expected?” he asked eventually, after both of them were full and waited for the other to bring the promised dance back up.

“Not really, but it fits them. And it’s better than one of these stiff ‘don’t call me party’-parties, where one wrong word would get us thrown in the dungeon,” she took a sip from the goblet in front of her and then shot him a firm look. “Not that this means you’re not allowed to bring me to a real proper ball anytime soon, mind you.”

“Noted,” he promised and when Donna touched her hand to the front of her neck he remarked, “I see you’ve started to settle in.”

“I asked Bethia what the gesture meant and it’s their equivalent to a curtsy! I thought I might try to adept some of the local habits,” she smiled and he could see that she was proud with herself for figuring this one out without having him explain it to her. He should have been disappointed that she had had another culture-guide, but it made him feel strangely at ease. Donna didn’t need his supervision like… other people he’d travelled with, she could take care of herself and adept. Or maybe it was just the wine that made him feel so strongly about such a small detail, he knew he wasn’t quite sober, but sometimes it was a feeling he enjoyed.

“So, did you and Bethia get along in the bathroom?” he asked.

He must have sounded more mischievous than intended, because Donna rolled her eyes, “we were _fine_ , but I don’t think it’s ‘common’ for a bloke to ask a lady how her bath was.” Then Donna leaned slightly back in her chair, giving him a better view of her cleavage, even though he strongly doubted that had been her intention. “Why am I always the one who has to tell _you_ everything?”

“You can ask me how my bath was, but I’m afraid it’s not half as interesting,” he countered.

“Not only that. You know everything about me, and I don’t know the next thing ‘bout you. Blimey, I didn’t even know for sure that you’re straight!” she was teasing him, but he could hear the hurt edge that hid in her accusation.

“You could have _asked_ me,” he replied loudly, they still had to drown the music and the people’s shouting out. It felt a little odd to have such a private conversation so loudly, but they were both a little primed so neither of them really cared, no one was listening to them anyway.

“Okay… that means you are into women?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“… all of them?”

“Huh?” he frowned, not sure if he had understood her last question.

“I mean, not only your own species, Time Ladies, or whatever you call them,” Donna explained.

“No, not necessarily,” he replied and when Donna opened her mouth he realised that she had only just started her interrogation. Well, it took two to tango. “Wait, it’s my turn to ask.” Donna closed her mouth again and furrowed her brow. “It’s only fair,” he added.

“All right, ask.” She sat up a little straighter again as if to steel herself for what was about to come.

For some time they just sat there, shooting questions back and forth, none of them really important, but nearly all a little too saucy to ask sober. This meant some time later Donna knew exactly what to think about the Virgin Queen’s virginity and the Doctor had managed to make a mental note of every one of Donna’s partners in chronological order. It was all just for the fun of it, until it was the Doctor’s turn again and he asked, “why hypnotism?”

Donna looked up from her goblet, they had switched from wine to water some time ago, but her face was still red from the alcohol and the laughter. “What do you mean ‘why’?”

“What’s so fascinating about it? Besides the psychological fascination of interacting with the subconsciousness of course, what makes it so special to you?” He knew that this question had changed the atmosphere between them, but he couldn’t help it. He had been wondering for some time now and this seemed the best chance to get an answer.

Donna traced her finger over the rim of her goblet and shrugged. “I dunno. It’s not like anything has happened to me that triggered it,” she blushed at that word, but continued, “i-it’s this fantasy of succumbing to someone that makes it feel a bit dangerous, but there’s more to it…” She hesitated, looking around the room as if she could find the proper words written on a wall somewhere. Or was she just avoiding his look as if she was still ashamed for what she was saying? “I guess it’s just about really trusting someone. All these power game-kinks are, but I don’t… I don’t trust many people. Hypnotism sounded like a way to forget about the constant doubts for a time,” she fell silent and whatever had made her say it seemed to leave her. “It’s silly, sorry, I guess the wine’s getting to my head after all,” she said with a smile that looked almost real.

“I see,” he replied slowly and surprised flashed over her face. “When I hypnotise you, you can trust me.”

“Dumbo,” she retorted and stood up from her chair. “I let you hypnotise me, because I trust you.” She must have planned to have the last word, because before he got the chance she turned away to leave the hall. She didn’t seem angry, she didn’t run, but to him it was obvious that the conversation was over for her.

Not until then had the Doctor realised that the party had almost ended. Some couples were still dancing while two men were growling and rolling over each other on the floor and a single flutist played a melancholy tune. The Doctor watched Donna cross the hall, climbing over knocked over tables and chairs, and couldn’t make up his mind whether or not to follow her. He wanted to be with her, but he didn’t know what to say. That her trust meant more to him that he could say, or that she was silly for trusting in him altogether?

Because of course he understood the fascination of this “power game” she was playing with him. She wouldn’t let him patronise her, boss her around, but when he put her under she enjoyed giving up control. Putting things in order and getting them under control was what he always did, and the idea of Donna being one of these things excited him, as much as it excited her to let him. And he knew that he needed her to let him, to trust him, because it was the fact that she gave up this control voluntarily that made all this so special to him.

He wished he could go and tell her, but then he remembered how the trigger he had established had gone awry, because he hadn’t been careful enough! _“You’re just not the careful type, but that’s okay. I’ll just be careful for both of us”_ , she had said, but she couldn’t stop him when she was under and that meant he mustn’t get carried away again. If Donna decided he could have the control, he had to make sure not to lose it because of his own, little fantasies.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Donna really had hoped they could finally get back to the TARDIS, but when she left the ball room and entered the corridor, the first window she saw showed her a pitch black sky. She crossed the deserted hall, her shoes clicking over the marble ground, and pushed the entrance portal open. It couldn’t be night already! She knew that she had taken her sweet time bathing and that she and the Doctor had chatted for quite some time, but the day could impossibly be over, yet.

She stepped outside and instantly regretted this decision. A lightning hit the horizon and for a second the world was bright enough for Donna to see that the path was covered in ankle-deep puddles of muddy water. She fled back into the castle at once, but by the time she had managed to pull the double door close behind herself she was soaked to the bone and trembling.

“Perfect,” she spat and wrapped her arms around herself. In the turmoil of the banquet she hadn’t heard the thunderstorm approaching. Now they were right in the middle of it and there was no way she would drag herself through this tempest.

“Lady Noble, what happened!?” Donna recognised Bethia’s voice and turned around. The girl was standing in the doorway of a chamber, maybe for the servants of the castle, and looked at her with concern. Behind Bethia, Donna could see two other girls trying to sneak a peek at the cursing and dripping woman.

“I tried to take a swim outside,” Donna replied and the girl winced under her harsh tone. Donna sighed, Bethia really wasn’t to blame that she was drunk, tired and wet. “I’m sorry, love. I just really want to go home and now _this_ ,” she explained softer this time and gestured at the door behind which the storm was rampaging.

She must have looked even more miserable than she felt, because Bethia made a pitying face, then she shooed the two girls away, who were still trying to peek over her shoulder, and walked over to Donna to take her hands in hers. “We have a lot of summer storms here, my lady, and they are scary but usually never last more than an hour or two. Do you want me to walk you to your room? You can rest there until the weather has calmed down.”

Donna was about to retort that she wasn’t invalid and could damn well go to her room alone, but she knew that she wasn’t quite sure where her room was in this big castle and, while she would certainly be able to find it _eventually_ , she would have much rather taken the direct way to the bed that was waiting there for her. Besides, Bethia was a nice girl and even though Donna had started to suspect she treated her with special care because she thought Donna a wealthy lady, she still took care of her. Not that she would have admitted it, but it was nice to be pampered for a change. 

“Thanks, Bethia,” she said and let the girl escort her to her room.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As soon as Donna had coaxed Bethia out of her room again, assuring her that she really was all right on her own, she took off her dress and let it fall to the floor with a soggy thud. Right now she would have killed for a working shower to wash the coldness off of her skin, but running water had not been invented around here, yet, so the soft blankets on her double bed would have to do. She had just tugged herself in with a blissful sigh when someone knocked on the door and entered without waiting for an answer.

“Donna, are you here?” the Doctor walked into the room and spotted Donna, but her dripping dress on the floor remained unnoticed. “I was looking for you, it has started to rain and I think it’d be best if we sit the storm out. Emiljan assured me we’re wel-,” his gaze finally wandered over the floor to where her dress lay and he interrupted himself. “D-did you bring pyjamas?” he asked, just a tad too high.

“… No.”

He nodded slowly. “I’ll just wait downstairs then.”

“Don’t be daft, you look as tired as I feel,” she moved under the sheets so he would have enough place to lie down without having to feel too awkward about lying next to her. For a moment longer he stood in the middle of the room, indecisive, but in the end he shrugged out of his jacket, took of his shoes and climbed into bed next to her.

A moment of embarrassed adjusting followed, in which both of them tried to lie as comfortable as possible without touching the other one and Donna couldn’t help but wonder why two people who were hugging frequently, suddenly fussed so much about avoiding each other, just because a bed came into play. Maybe their earlier talk was to blame, because when she looked at the Doctor now she didn’t only see her skinny Martian but also a man other woman fancied, had been intimate with, and she knew their relationship had lost some of its innocence today. She just hoped it had gained something else in return; just what this could be was still beyond her.

“Are you okay?” he asked after both of them had found an acceptable position. She wondered if he was asking because she had just been out in a storm, or because of their current situation.

This way or the other, she knew the only possible answer, “yeah, I’m all right,” and, because he put this doubtful expression on, she added, “little tipsy maybe.”

“Right, sometimes I forget you can’t just shake it off,” he said with a tone that clearly showed Donna he had not forgotten, just enjoyed mentioning that he could.

She jabbed his shoulder. “You mean you’re sober again? That’s unfair, in for a penny, in for a pound! Next time we’re getting you some ginger beer to make sure I’m not the only one making a fool of myself.” Instead of a reply he chuckled and Donna jabbed him again. “What’s so funny?”

“You are,” he explained. “I don’t even remember telling you about ginger beer. You keep complaining that you don’t know me, while I know everything about you. Actually you, Miss Noble, know me eerily well.”

Embarrassed, she fell silent, wishing he would stop smiling at her like that. Like she was something special while she wasn’t. She was about to reply something just to make him stop when another lightning hit the ground and Donna realised that window panes also had not been invented, yet. She fled farther under the sheets until she was well covered up to her nose before she muttered, “who’d thought that our dragon is the only one safe in his cage?”

“We are in a castle. A fortress made to withhold stronger things than bad weather. I’d say we are fairly safe, too,” he pointed out, but when the next lightning hit, he moved a little closer to her.

“Castle or not, I want to go home,” she replied.

“Home?” he asked and his expression told her that he’d misunderstood.

“Not home! T-the TARDIS I mean, sorry,” she stuttered.

“No, it’s fine,” he assured her with a big smile. “I didn’t know you think of it as home.”

“I, I didn’t mean I-”

“I’m glad you do, though.”

They were talking at the same time and when they realised they were, both stopped. Donna told herself that that she had called this mad, impossible box home the same way one might refer to a hotel as “home” after a long day of sight-seeing, but the truth was, she knew this bed might keep her warm and she might get some sleep here, but really at peace she was only in her own room in the TARDIS.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Donna couldn’t tell when she’d fallen asleep, she just knew that she had closed her eyes briefly, granting herself a moment in which she relished the warmth of the bed and the Doctor’s presence, and then she opened her eyes again and a steel-grey sky greeted her. She blinked, wondering when she had turned around, because she had made sure to face her back to the storm that magically had vanished.

“Spaceman?” she asked drowsily, the Doctor seemed to have vanished, too. Then Donna tried to sit up and recognised his arm that hugged her close to him and the even breathing ghosting over her neck. Electricity ran through her and all of a sudden she didn’t feel drowsy anymore. “Spaceman,” she tried again, just a hint louder this time.

He replied with a sound that could have been a growling and huddled even closer to her and- Oh! His hand had wandered just slightly too far under her belly button for her to give him a rational answer, but the violent shudder that shook her seemed enough to wake him up. “Sorry, I must have fallen asleep,” he mumbled, but didn’t move and Donna wasn’t sure if she should curse or kiss him for keeping his hand perfectly still where it was.

“S´okay,” she said, sounding just a bit too squeaky, and brought herself to push his hand away so she could turn around and get at least a little distance between them. This was better, she could almost breath again. Well almost. The Doctor looked at her with sleepy eyes and tousled hair, and for a moment she thought that she wouldn’t mind waking up to this sight more often, but of course that was silly and she was quick to push that thought away. “Shouldn’t we be going? What if Emiljan or someone else goes for a walk and finds our new friend.”

“Yes, it’s a shame but I think you’re right. We should get the cumbagon home soon,” he finished with a long yawn but finally tossed the sheets back and climbed out of the bed.

“Oi!” Donna complained. The sudden cold of the castle attacked her skin that was still spoilt by the warmth of the bed. Judging by the look he gave her, he had forgotten that she was only in her underwear… and what a long look that was. Uncomfortably aware of her body, Donna pulled the blanket back up to her chin. “Some privacy would be nice.”

“Oh, of course,” he stuttered and averted his eyes, now that it was too late for his decency anyway. “I’ll pop around the kitchen to get us some dinner while you get dressed,” he pointed over his shoulder as he reached for his jacket and shoes. “Dinner” did that mean it was evening? Her sleeping cycle was messed up after those two days, but she trusted her Martian and his internal clock and mumbled her okay.

With a last, somewhat confused glance at the sheets he left the room, only to poke his head right back in a second later. “We should get the trigger out before we take care of the cumbagon. A planet full of them is no place I would want you to…,” he waved his hand about instead of finishing his sentence, but Donna knew what he meant and agreed whole heartedly. Lying at the feet of one of these monsters once was more than enough.

She nodded, signalising him that she’d understood and he vanished. Donna knew she was still looking at the door while she really should get dressed, but she couldn’t get herself to do so. Taking the trigger out was probably a good idea, considering how easily it could get them into trouble, so Donna wasn’t all that disappointed to get rid of it again. The thing that kept her paralysed was the fact that taking it out meant another trance.

She was glad that the Doctor wasn’t in the room, because her lips curled into a nervous smile. She wasn’t prepared for another trance so shortly after her last one, but she hadn’t expected the last one, either! At least this time he’d given her a warning. Funnily enough, he never seemed to be much of a plan-ahead person, and Donna wondered if he might have taken his promise to be more careful from now on more serious than she’d expected.

With a sigh, she massaged her temples. An unexpected trigger, escaping being eaten by a dragon by the skin of her teeth, this banquet and cuddling with the Doctor. It seemed like too much had happened in the past 24 hours and it all demanded to be thought through at the same time. And, quite frankly, Donna was sick of mulling over all of it again and again. She would get rid of the troublesome trigger shortly and as far as her near-dragon experience was concerned, she knew it should be something special to her, a life changing event, but if she was honest, it was just another impossible adventure at the Doctor’s side. What made it more dangerous than dangling from a gigantic cobweb? Or dangling from a cradle at Adipose Industries?… Thinking about it, she was dangling a lot in dangerous places since she knew the Doctor. No, it was what he had said that kept her thinking.

_“Do you think I’d taken part in it if I disagreed with it?”_

Did he really mean that or had he just tried to be nice to her after accidentally putting her under? As much as Donna liked to doubt anything nice he said, she couldn’t convince herself that her rude-and-not-ginger Martian had lied to her for politeness’ sake. She gave herself a mental smack and finally climbed out of bed, shivering in the cold.

She couldn’t make herself believe either story. Not telling her his honest opinion while she clearly had asked for it seemed just as out of character as him agreeing with a kink like hers. How could he when it obviously was wrong?… It was wrong, wasn’t it? Especially forcing her best friend to support her in her twisted fantasies. Well, she hadn’t quite “forced” him. It had been his idea after all, so maybe…

Tentatively she reached out for her dress. Still wet, so they couldn’t have slept that long. The bad news was that now she had nothing to wear. She sent a silent prayer to heaven above, if she was really lucky, the last special guest had left some kind of clothing and as she opened the little cupboard in the room she saw that this once she really was lucky. It was nothing great, but at least a pair of trousers and some sort of colourful shirt. Donna got dressed and realised that everything was too big, but better than nothing. She checked her reflection in a silver plate that hung on the wall. God, she missed glass! 

The reflection seemed to frown at her, annoyed with her constant brooding. _Who cares about all of this_ , it asked and Donna knew no answer to that. It didn’t offend her own moral-standards, so who was she trying to please? _Trying to please someone? Oh, a certain Martian comes to mind_ , her reflection cheekily proposed and Donna blushed. She had to be really messed up to think stuff like that.

“The Doctor has nothing to do with this,” she told herself firmly, stabbing a finger at her reflection.

_Just that he has. And you like it._

Flustered, Donna put the plate away and with it her uncomfortably honest reflection back… It had a point. She had never seen him as something different than her best mate, a very interesting, very skinny bloke she had the luck to join on his journeys, until two days ago. When he’d put her under in the library he’d just been careful and curious, very much like the Doctor she saw every day, and it had been exciting because it was hypnotism. Period.

But last night in that cave… She remembered the feeling of being pulled under, the same as the night before, but it was different. She had struggled against it because it was the wrong situation and she’d known that in a corner of her mind, but despite her effort once she’d heard his voice all that resolution had been gone. He’d been telling her to relax in a tone that hadn’t allowed of objections and she’d complied. He had shown her a side of him she hadn’t seen before and she couldn’t quite rank. It was somewhere between his usual caring-self she had grown so fond of and the oncoming-storm-self that slightly scared her. Protective and possessive. And Donna knew it attracted her.

She dropped back down on her bed, none the wiser. The Doctor was her mate and she was not supposed to make him part of her fantasies, but she also knew that it was too late for that. The damage was done and she had no idea how to turn back, not that she wanted to anyway. Now she could just as well enjoy the ride until it came to its catastrophic end. It wasn’t as if she would fall head over heels in love with him, she’d been there done that, but she would continue what they were having, whatever it was, as long as he would let her.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The Doctor returned to Donna’s - or their? - room, carrying two plates with bread and fish. They were leftovers from the banquet and already cold, but he was grateful that Bethia had organised some food for him at all, considering their embarrassing first meeting. _Dropping Donna’s name probably helped_ , he mused and pushed the door open with his foot. He walked into on Donna sorting her hair out. The braiding Bethia had done had prevented it from becoming a mess over night.

“Nice shirt,” he grinned as he spotted that Donna had changed into clothes that certainly didn’t belong to her. “A bit too big maybe, but the colour certainly becomes you.”

“I borrowed it,” Donna said petulantly and pointed at the cupboard. “And just by the way, it’s much more comfortable than the corset, so save your comments to yourself, Timeboy.”

With a chuckle he handed her the plate and sat down on their bed, since a table seemed to be missing in this room. Donna frowned at the cold food. “It’s everything they had,” he said, already chewing on a piece of bread, “they will need another ten years to invent the microwave.” Donna pursed her lips and nibbled a little at her fish, but by the time the Doctor had finished - he had learned to stomach all kinds of foot in his life - her plate was still full. He wondered if it was the cold meal that’d spoilt her appetite or if she was just nervous because of what they were about to do. Not that he could blame her, if he imagine someone using a trigger against him – if by accident or not - he’d make sure not to let this person into his mind ever again. But she had said she trusted him and that she didn’t mind him taking the control, but what if she’d changed her mind? Fantasising about a situation and actually undergoing it were to very different things. “I’m going to make it quick,” he promised as he put the plates away.

A frown flashed over Donna’s face. “We’ve wasted so much time already, do you really think it’s a good idea to start rushing through things _now_ that you’re about to tinker with my mind?”

“I didn’t mean to rush through it, I just… you looked nervous so I wanted to get over with it,” he explained.

“I’m not nervous,” she replied with the now familiar blush on her face. “I- okay, I am nervous, but not the way you think. I’m looking forward to this and I certainly don’t just want to ‘get over with it’,” she threw him a telling look that seemed to plead him not to be so thick. And he was trying, but he still found it hard to believe that the idea of being at his mercy in a few minutes was something she enjoyed. Not that he judged her for it, he didn’t even think it was a weakness, it was just… a mystery to him. That she trusted him, she, among all the people, had seen how he could be on bad days and she knew he needed her to stop him. Just not when it was about her. She wanted the world safe while she was facing the storm and he couldn’t bring himself to believe that she enjoyed it. The Doctor reached out his hand to touch her cheek, it was an reflex to assure himself she was real. She almost flinched away, almost, but then she just looked at him, probably trying to figure out what he was up to. It took him longer than expected to let go off her again.

“All right, make yourself comfortable, I’ll just have to find something you can focus on,” he said and tried to get back to the task at hand.

“But you don’t need anything, we still have the trigger,” said as she fluffed her pillow.

“I thought you want it gone.”

“I do, just… we can make use of it as long as we still have it.” She lay down on the sheets and gave him this look again that seemed to say more than her words. He wasn’t quite sure he understood all of what she wanted to tell him and he really wished he could have this manual she had been talking about.

Scratching his earlobe, he sat down next to her on the mattress. She was watching him attentively and the Doctor had to think about the first time in the library and how nervous she’d been. A part of him had expected he’d fail in putting her under. He hadn’t done it the old-fashion way for a long time and it was always a gamble if someone really was ready to give it a try. Donna’s faith in his abilities certainly had helped. He wanted this to be like their first time again, not like his slip in the cave.

“Are you comfortable, because it’ll be easier when you’re relaxed,” he pointed out and before she could argue that she hadn’t been relaxed last night, either, he added, “I don’t want to repeat what happened yesterday. Just close your eyes and breath.” He saw that she wasn’t entirely convinced, but she complied. Because she didn’t want to argue or because this was already part of the game, he wondered, as he watched her breaths slowly evening out.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked to dispel the silence.

“Hm?” she frowned but kept her eyes closed.

“To relax. What are you thinking about? I’m just being curious.”

She didn’t answer for some time, instead she lay there and focused on her breathing. And then she smiled. “Last night.”

“Really? I thought you didn’t like the storm,” he asked as innocently as possible, trying not to let her hear that he was smiling, too. Until she swatted at his arm and, because her eyes were still closed, missed and hit his leg.

“Dumbo, you know what I mean. And now shush! I’m trying to concentrate on relaxing and you’re distracting me.”

He rubbed the sore part of his leg and wondered what in particular she was thinking about to calm herself. When _he_ thought about last night he thought about a surprisingly soft bed, a certain wet dress on the floor, Donna’s scent, a lightning splitting the sky, Donna sliding closer, her eyes, the sound of the rain, her human warmth and listening to her single heart beat slowing down in her chest until he had fallen asleep... “I see,” he said softly. Donna didn’t answer and for a moment he worried that she’d fallen asleep. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” she replied to his relief. Still awake.

“Good, can you look at me now? I’d like to use the trigger.” He was careful to ask her agreement, not wanting to risk reminding her of last night’s trauma and making her fight the trigger. But when she opened her eyes, she didn’t look traumatised, just expecting.

They only had a moment to look at each other, then he clicked his fingers and her eyes fluttered shut and her head sank to her chest. The Doctor could have sat there, marvelling at the beauty of the human psyche, especially her beautiful psyche, but he had a task to complete. Later, when he had coaxed her deeper and erased every hint of the trigger, he would have the chance to lament the loss of seeing her go under for him so effortlessly. Not that it ever took her an effort to go into trance, but he still would miss the trigger. Of course it was safer this way, and a part of him felt like he deserved the punishment of losing it for being careless. There could be no more slips, he would be extra careful from now on. He knew better than anyone else that things could go very wrong if someone enjoyed being in control too much.


	5. Safety Measures

“Can you see them?” the Doctor asked from behind the control panel and Donna leaned a little wider out of the TARDIS, as far as she dared.

“No, there are mountains and trees and... more trees,” she informed him and squinted her eyes. The Doctor was flying the TARDIS slowly through the sky, just high enough so that the mountain tops wouldn’t scratch the ship’s ground. Donna held on to the door frame and tried to spot the cumbagon they had just released. And then finally, "there! You were right, there’s a whole family of them!”

A group of dragons had caught her eye. At first they had just looked like a pile of different coloured rocks at the side of one mountain, but then one of them had spread its wings to fly into the valley below.

“A pride,” he called back and when Donna threw a puzzled look over her shoulder he elaborated, “a group or family of cumbagoni is called a pride.”

“Cumbagoni? Oh, c’mon! You’re just making that up.”

“Well, of course. Someone has to,” he grinned and Donna decided to give him that one. Instead of arguing she leaned back out of the TARDIS. The icy wind whipped her hair around her head and into her face and her fingertips were already numb, but she didn’t care. Being here, miles over a foreign planet inhabited only by drag – oh, the heck with it – cumbagoni and these adorable ginger deer they ate, she felt almost like flying. How many people got the chance to fly through an alien sky?

She turned around to the Doctor who watched her amused and beckoned at him. “You need to see this.”

“I can’t, someone needs to pilot the old girl,” he patted the control panel gently.

Donna glanced back at the marvellous sight and brushed her bangs out of her eyes. There was something else not many people got to do. She turned around and walked back to the Doctor. “Ok, Spaceman. I’m your backup.”

He gave her a quizzical look as she gestured at him to step aside. “You want to fly the TARDIS?”

“Can’t be that difficult,” she replied and let her gaze sweep over the vast number of buttons and levers and screens and... something that suspiciously looked like one half of a comb. “Just tell me what I need to do to keep us from crashing so you can take a quick look.”

“Donna, we should start with something simpler, like... well, actually flying her like this is one of the easier things.”

Donna saw her chance. “See? I’ve watched you flying her and you just move this stick to the left,” she pointed at a silver pilot stick with a wooden top, “and keep pushing that button,” she pointed to the third yellow button on the right. He nodded approvingly and Donna saw that he was thinking about letting her try. She wouldn’t beg, but she could nudge him a little, “I’ll be extra careful, come on, trust _me_ this time.”

“You know I do,” he replied and with a last doubtful look he sighed. “Oh, fine! But if we crash into a mountain, you’re going to pick up the pieces.” He gently manoeuvred her in front of the control panel and stood behind her. Closely. She could feel his breath on her shoulder as he moved her hand to show her how and what exactly to do. “Okay?”

“Yeah, I think I got it,” she said and then he let go off her and she was flying the TARDIS alone. She beamed, but made sure to keep her eyes trained on the panel.

“Not so fast, she only needs a little hint where to fly. Remember, she’s used to travel much faster and farther in space,” he cautioned.

“I know, go and have a look at the planet, I’m fine,” she tried to sound calm but the euphoria made her voice all shaky. She felt him a moment longer in her back, watching her, but then he hurried over and almost flung himself out of the door, only stopping himself with a hand on the door handle. Donna hadn’t expected to feel the tug, but for a second the lever almost escaped her fingers and the TARDIS swerved.

“Woah,” the Doctor almost fell out of the ship, only his firm grip on the door saved him. A split second later Donna had brought everything back under control. She looked up to search his gaze, expecting him to be angry or to tell her he’d expected nothing else, but she only saw his back as he enjoyed the sight below with amazement. After a moment he seemed to feel her look and he turned around and chuckled. “That was close. Do you think you can get us closer to their nest without crashing?”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“-and I still can’t believe how close we came!” Donna said for the third time.

“Yeah, that happens when you manoeuvre us right through their nest,” the Doctor answered with an amused smile. Donna sounded like a broken record, a very giddy broken record, and the Doctor decided her extraordinary good mood was worth a couple of cumbagon-claw marks on the TARDIS and the almost-heart attack he’d gotten as one of the smaller ones had poked its head through the door.

It had taken some time to persuade Donna to let him pilot them back into the vortex. Not that Donna didn’t make for a good pilot, a better pilot than he’d been when he’d first tried it, how he reluctantly admitted to himself, but the vortex could be tricky, one wrong move and she would leave a dent in the eighties. And he couldn’t let that happen. Not again.

Eventually Donna had sat back though and let him fly the old girl. Of course this didn’t keep her from telling him every little detail she’d discovered and, even though nothing of what she told him was new, he still enjoyed listening to someone else talk about the quirks of piloting a time machine. He had never thought he’d miss it. And for a moment he couldn’t help but look at Donna, really look at her, the bossy human that went on and on about her first go at flying a TARDIS, and see an equal. Not that she was equally good, or bad, or clever or old, or anything he could have measured, but still on a par with him, because she refused to let anyone believe she was not a match for him. Not even him; especially not him. He wasn’t sure when he’d last felt like this around another person, and he dreaded the moment he would say or do the one thing that Donna couldn’t forgive and she’d leave.

He’d promised to be more careful, but after 900 years he knew himself well enough to know when he was lying. He had started this because he’d seen that Donna had wanted it and… okay, if he was perfectly honest, because he’d seen a chance to learn more about the human mind. After decades of travelling with them, he believed himself to understand their conscious behaviour fairly well, but the subconsciousness… He’d put Donna under thrice so far, and only once had been a proper session, but even now he could tell that humans almost worked like Time Lords while in trance. Like most species actually. It was incredibly fascinating, also because it was a subject he hardly had any real life experience with. Except for the Time Lord part… and those experiences had ensured he’d stick to the theory from now on.

And then Donna had actually let him have a go on hypnotising her, funnily enough, he had offered it because he’d believed she would say no. And when she’d said yes he hadn’t want to disappoint her, besides he’d quickly realised that he hadn’t unlearn much and was curious to brush up on his old skill. It had been fun, until the accident in the cave and the Doctor just knew that this would be the last warning he would get. This once he had to be responsible and stop things before they went too far.

The TARDIS buzzed and pulled slightly to the left. The Doctor wasn’t sure if this was her way of protesting to his train of thoughts, which the little minx certainly had listened to, or if she was just generally asking for more attention. This way or the other, he could well do without her comments and, since she refused to return to the course even when he pulled her levers, he hit the rebellious ship with the mallet.

“Oi, don’t take your moods out on her,” Donna reproached. She had been rambling on about flying while the Doctor’s mind had wandered and now felt like she’d been annoying him.

“ _She_ isn’t flying properly!” the Doctor pointed a finger at the control panel “and I have to take them out on someone.” He nudged the panel with the mallet again.

Donna shrugged, “how about me?” That made the Doctor perk up his ears, he turned around to her, the mallet still in hand and Donna added, “not with this thing, dumbo, I thought about something different…” 

A familiar redness on her cheeks told him exactly what she’d been thinking about and he’d have loved to join her in the library for another proper session, but instead… “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Oh, all right,” Donna quickly replied and looked away, but he could see that she’d steeled herself for a refusal, even though it didn’t make it any easier for him. “Are we talking about a ‘ask me tomorrow again’ kind of no, or…?” she added quietly.

He could see that it was difficult for her to ask, because obviously his first refusal had hurt her, but there she stood, asking him again despite her own embarrassment, and he suddenly felt like a horrible person for trying to do the right thing. “You wanted to know how it feels and now you do. I just think it’s too risky to make it into a more-,” he gestured awkwardly about until he found the proper word, “longterm arrangement. You were right, I’m not the careful type and you can’t stop me when you’re in trance.” Damn it, he had to be more careful with his choice of words, even this statement quickened Donna’s pulse. _Then stop checking on her reaction to your words_ , he scolded himself and turned back to the screens.

“You made a mistake,” Donna said slowly, “and you didn’t mean to. Maybe you’ll make one again, but I- shouldn’t it be my decision if it’s worth the risk to trust you?”

“You shouldn’t trust me,” he replied.

“Oh come off it! You didn’t do it on purpose, you never would. It was a silly accident.”

“How do you know I never would do it on purpose?” he looked at her with what he hoped to be an intimidating look. Better she got scared now, as long no serious harm had been done, than later when he would have hurt her. To his disappointment Donna only rolled her eyes.

“If you had wanted to do it, why did you tell me how to escape the cumbagon?”

The Doctor frowned, “I’m not sure in how far me not wanting you to get eaten changes the fact that I could misuse your trust.”

“Because you told me to drop to the ground. Why did you waste time by telling me when you could’ve just made me.” Donna clicked her fingers in front of his face and slowly it dawned on him why she still trusted him. He hadn’t triggered her even though it certainly had been the easier option.

“But I didn’t even think about that,” he objected.

“Exactly. I wouldn’t be so sure that I want this, if you had.” The Doctor couldn’t think of a respond to that and Donna allowed herself to smile a triumphant smile. She had won this round, but the Doctor wasn’t sure if that was reason enough for him to give in. He knew the human nature, well enough to know they were willing to risk a lot if they feared losing something they enjoyed - and that Donna enjoyed hypnotism was beyond doubt at this time…

But it wasn’t just that she enjoyed being hypnotised, she enjoyed being hypnotised by _him_. And this little detail, unfortunately, changed everything. Because the Doctor also knew his own nature, and the fact that Donna let him put her under instead of considering to have a trained hypnotist do it (not that those would have been a match for him) made it impossible for the Doctor to give their little arrangement up. Because she trusted him, enough to enjoy surrendering control to him. And if there was something the Doctor needed, it was trust, and if there was something he enjoyed, then it was control. Even if it was wrong. Even if it was dangerous. Even if it was a mistake he would regret. But if it was, he would make sure to keep Donna as safe as possible.

“Okay,” he agreed, “but I want a safe-word.” The smile that had appeared in Donna’s face the moment he’d agreed vanished just as quickly. She looked less than happy about the idea, but the Doctor wouldn’t let her talk him out of this. “I’m not going to do it without one. Two, to be exact. You said so yourself, if we want to do this regularly, I need some kind of manual that tells me when I’m going too far. You won’t even be aware of using them if I do it properly.” And with a firm look at her he added, “There’s no discussion about it. Either we’re having a safe-word, or we’re not doing it at all.”

He knew he’d pushed it too far with this last sentence. He was right to ask for a safe word, but like this? It positively begged for a reminder from Donna that she wouldn’t have him boss her around. All the more surprised was he when she simply nodded. “All right.” And as they turned to head for the library together Donna added “don’t think I’ll let you talk to me like this forever, mate, so you better enjoy yourself.” The Doctor nodded, but swallowed down the one question that nagged on his mind. Had she let this remark slip because it was already a part of this game she got off on or had she already let him take control because she knew _he_ got off on it?

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As much as the Doctor hated patterns he still hesitated to change the location for their sessions. He would have liked to change their surroundings a little, but he couldn’t argue that the fireplace was too perfect to give up.

Not that he intended to use it, but this place was still useful for him. For one, the library was quiet in a good way. The control room was always full of buzzing and humming noises, noises he loved and about which Donna had never complained, but still noises. Other rooms were too quiet, almost uncomfortably so, but the library was perfect. The wooden shelves and the paper, almost everything in here was organic and surrounded them with their own kind of unhearable but still detectable sound. 

Besides, returning to a place where Donna had been hypnotised before would remind her of that occasion and make it easier. This was yet another fact he loved the human mind for, it adored rituals and habits and clung to them, for better or for worse.

Still, it was no reason to do everything the exact way every time and, to be honest, it would have bored the Doctor. That was why he had already thought up a new way to put Donna under. He knew he shouldn’t have fantasised about it, and maybe fantasising was the wrong word, a Time Lord didn’t fantasise! He weighed up different possible future scenarios and decided which was the most beneficial… for his fantasies.

The Doctor had meant it when he’d tried to talk Donna out of this, but it hadn’t stopped him from making up possible inductions for his own purposes and one of them had struck him as particularly interesting. Mainly because it was different from the fire induction, but also because the last time he’d tried this, he had failed. A piece of information he decided to keep to himself for now. Hypnosis worked on Donna because she wanted and believed it to work, there was no reason he should change anything about this.

Under Donna’s curious look he started to empty his pockets. Some tissues, a crumbled map of London’s tube of 2076, the sonic screwdriver, a clew of yarn… where was it?

“You’re not going to use your sonic, are you?” Donna asked.

The Doctor looked up, the sonic and the yarn still in hand. “Huh? No, I wasn’t going t-… though it wouldn’t be impossible. I do have some light and sound patterns saved in there that could work… but no, I would need to run some tests before we use it, maybe next time.”

“Maybe not at all,” Donna mumbled and eyed the sonic suspiciously. “You use this thing all the time and I’d never be able to look at it the same, if we use it to… No.” She shook her head, dismissing the idea, but the Doctor had just found what he had been looking for and slipped the sonic and the other things back into his pocket, much to Donna’s relief.

“Here we go,” he held up a golden coin, about thrice the size of a pound but thinner. “Zocci currency, I always have some of it on me, because it’s valid currency in most parts of the universe.”

“Except the parts you take me to, so I have to pay for our dinner,” Donna replied as she examined the coin carefully before she gave it back with an approving nod and the Doctor couldn’t help but feel satisfied. He’d come up with a lot of different ideas of how to put Donna under, because really there were next to no limitations when it came to inducing a trance, pretty much everything could be used, but instead of making it easier, this fact had made his choice more difficult.

Considering Donna’s fondness of the process of going into trance he had to make sure it did not only work, but was enjoyable for her, too. He’d seen that, despite the idea of it exciting her, the trigger had done little for her. Maybe it had worked too fast. The fire had worked nicely, but maybe just because it had been her first trance ever, so he couldn’t be sure of that either.

A quick search through the web later he had found some reoccurring objects and strategies in the kind of stories Donna read. He couldn’t thank the TARDIS enough for saving Donna’s cookies though he felt a little guilty for browsing through them. After spending some time on the site she visited though he could be fairly sure that Donna hadn’t read the stories for their literary value, but those she’d read at least twice had served as a good starting point for his research. The idea of making use of a coin had struck him as particularly interesting and he hoped Donna would agree. According to the flush on her skin, she did.

“Ready?” he asked and Donna nodded, she adjusted in her seat and the Doctor raised the coin. Her gaze was instantly drawn to it and didn’t leave it for one second even as he started to slowly move it from side to side. When he talked to her, he made sure to drop his voice to a smoother tone. He still needed to fine tune that, but slowly he got the hang of a speech pattern and rhythm that seemed to work best on Donna. “That’s it, just focus on the coin as I move it from left to right. Left and right. Relax. Feel yourself return into the familiar state of peaceful calmness. Let everything else fade from attention. Just focus on the coin going from left to right and back. Good. I wonder if you’ve realised that your breathing has already returned to this slow, even pattern that helps you relax even more.”

If she had recognised that? Of course! And she knew it shouldn’t be so easy. It should take more than a moving coin and some simple words from him to hypnotise her, but she already felt her mind clouding and her body readily letting go of its natural tension. To be fair, she didn’t really try to fight the feeling, she enjoyed it too much to put up resistance, though she wondered if she’d be able to resist if she’d wanted to. How he had compelled her into trance in the cave had felt pretty amazing. Disturbing, of course, but bloody brilliant. A part of her hoped she could catch a glimpse of him overruling her again. Still, his way of slowly coaxing her towards trance was so addictive that Donna only spent a second thinking about fighting before she accepted the warm, drowsy feeling of another trance pulling her under and when he gave her the cue she closed her eyes without hesitation.

She was dimly aware of her body sinking back into the cushions and maybe she was just aware of it at all because the Doctor had pointed it out to her, how easy it was to let go of the last bit of tension and just sink back. Sink deeper and deeper until there was nothing left that could disturb her. The only thing that remained clear and sharp was his voice that cushioned her against conscious decisions but at the same time was her only connection to some kind of thoughts, even if it weren’t her own, so she clung to his every word.

And then the darkness suddenly cleared up and it was as if someone had opened a curtain in Donna’s head and she realised that she was standing in a little room, in a… lift. She looked about. She’d always wondered what trance looked like, but this came as a surprise.

“Donna, can you hear me?” the Doctor’s voice came out of one of the speakers at the upper half of the lift and was slightly distorted by the low quality of the speaker.

“Yeah, I hear you,” she told him with a smile.

“Good, can you see the lift?”

So he was responsible for her being here, well she should have suspected that. Though it was incredible how clear the picture of the lift was in her mind. Had he created all this or had she supplied the details without knowing? That would have made sense, since she remembered this kind of lift. It was grey and lit up by some neon lamp that hung from the ceiling. The buttons glowed yelloish and Donna remembered how the carpet had caught her attention when she’d been young. “This is the lift we took to my grandmother’s flat,” she explained and ran her fingers over the metal wall. It felt cold and furrowed and slightly sticky, she almost expected to hear her mother telling her off for touching something dirty like this. The lift might not have been the most glamorous place Donna had ever been to, but as a child it had fascinated her.

“It is, or at least a memory of this lift your mind has created. I want you to look at the number plate now and tell me which floor you are on. With 100 being your usual, fully awake state and 0 being the deepest level of trance you can imagine. How deep are you?” the Doctor’s voice asked and Donna peaked at the digital number plate. She had no idea how deep she was in trance, right now she didn’t feel very hypnotised, but to her surprise the screen displayed a clear number.

“54” she read out. “How is that?”

“That’s perfect, deeper than I expected. We’ll go even further down now. If that is not okay for you, you’ll find it very easy to bring your lift back up to 100.”

“No, it’s okay,” she said and cleared her throat to avoid her voice from turning into an excited squee. “Deeper sounds good.”

“Very well. 30 should be sufficient for what we’re about to do. Go and press the right buttons and as the lift goes farther down I want you to read out the number for me.”

She nodded, not sure if she was really nodding or if it was only in her mind, and pressed the round buttons 3 and 0. The lift shook alive and started sinking down, she felt the tug of gravity and the numbers started decreasing. “53, 52, 51…” she read out, the glowing numbers changed in front of her eyes and she felt how the lift took her farther down.

“You’re doing very well,” the Doctor commented while she was counting down the forties. “Feel yourself going farther down. You can focus completely on the numbers, you don’t have to pay attention to me, just count yourself even deeper down.” After that the speaker seemed to break, because Donna could only hear the Doctor’s voice as a faint background noise, but she was busy counting so she ignored it. As soon as she’d reached 36 the light of the lift seemed to breath its last, too, and Donna slowly but surely faded back into darkness. She barely reached 30 before everything faded and she was floating again. The lift was long forgotten.

Donna didn’t know for how long she had been floating when she blinked her eyes opened again. It could have been five minutes, it could have been an hour, she only knew she wouldn’t have minded staying like this a little longer. Now that she was conscious again though, the memory of what had just happened became clearer and she realised what had just happened. He had made her deepen her own trance and she hadn’t even been aware of it. She had played along without even questioning it, happy that it meant sinking even deeper under his control. Her hair stood to an end and she rubbed her hands over her arms, feeling very hot and very cold at once. This wonderful feeling lasted for about a second, then she realised something that sobered her mood and made her look about the room with a frown.

The Doctor was gone. Had he left her alone?! The Martian was nowhere to be seen. Donna even looked behind her armchair, half expecting him to be hiding there for some silly reason, but it seemed he was gone. Confused and slightly disappointed she sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. Where was he? Would he come back anytime soon? And, most importantly, why had he left her in the first place? It wasn’t that she couldn’t stand being on her own, especially in the TARDIS where she felt fairly safe, but the fact that he’d left her to her own device while she was in trance and vulnerable hurt her.

“And what am I supposed to do now?” she huffed. “If he’s expecting me to wait for his return like a good pup, he’s wrong.”

“I’d never expect you to do that,” the Doctor’s voice replied out of the blue and Donna almost jumped out of her seat.

“What the- Doctor?!” she gasped, shocked. He sounded like he was close around, but she couldn’t spot him anywhere. “Are you hiding form me? Really?” She sighed. “I’m letting a three-year-old hypnotise me.”

“I am not hiding,” he protested, but when he spoke again Donna was sure she heard a hint of playfulness in his voice. “In fact, I haven’t moved at all.”

Donna frowned and since there was no-one around, she simply frowned at the empty chair in front of her. “What have you done?” she asked suspiciously.

“Here, let me show you,” she heard him chuckle and waited for him to jump out of his hiding place. He didn’t, but instead something else caught Donna’s attention and she shrieked. A book had left the shelve next to the fireplace, apparently completely on its own. Donna stared at the book as it slowly flew from the bookshelf over to the empty chair where it stopped as if it was stuck in the air.

“Are your books supposed to be flying around on their own, Timeboy?” Donna asked, bewildered. She realised that this was probably another of his tricks, but how he had used hypnosis to make a book fly was beyond her. Except… “It’s you, right!? I can’t see you!”

“Bingo!” he said and Donna was almost certain that his voice was coming from the book, judging by the sound of it, he was beaming. “I wanted to see if it would work. It’s a complex suggestion, one that didn’t work the last time I had someone try it.”

While he was still marvelling at his success, or their success, Donna wasn’t sure she’d completely understood the situation. “But I cannot see you!” she stressed and pointed at the seemingly empty chair. “I can see the back of the chair, how’s that possible when you’re in the way?”

The book flew back to its place in the shelve as he spoke and Donna locked her eyes on it, it was her only indication of where the Doctor was. “You don’t actually see the things behind me, but your mind remembers your surroundings and fills in the gaps. Like I said, it’s a very complex suggestion, but after you responded so well to the lift image, I thought this visual hallucination’s worth a try.”

“Well, this time it worked. Looks like you’re getting the hang of it,” she informed him, now that the book was gone she had no idea where he was standing anymore. It was slightly irritating to talk to thin air.

“Oh, I’m not doing anything, this is your work,” he objected gently and Donna shrugged it off. To her it didn’t feel like she was doing anything at all, but he made it sound like she had some fascinating skill to follow suggestions. Once again it made her wonder about his own experiences… and why he seemed to know everything about hypnosis, except for how it felt.

“It’s not like I’m putting up an effort,” Donna mumbled.

“No?” he asked curiously.

She shook her head. “I just woke up and you were invisible. I don’t even remember you telling me to do anything.”

She heard a thoughtful noise coming from the Doctor’s armchair. Despite this situation being completely insane, Donna could help but grin. It was fascinating, she would give him that, but more than anything, it was exciting. She was covered in goosebumps and she was grateful that she’d put on a bra today to hide her arousal at least partly. Sometimes it was very nice to be a woman and not have to fight annoying erections, though she doubted she could fool the Doctor when it came to the effect all this had on her.

Sometimes she wondered why she was still trying, she had put her cards on the table the moment she’d told him to hypnotise her, he had seen how much she got off on all this, but she was still reluctant to let him see her every reaction. He never let her see any of his after all. Was he just doing this to do her a favour? Or because it fascinated him? Was she some kind of guinea pig for him he could get out and poke with a stick whenever he felt like it? Or was there a chance that he enjoyed doing this for another reason? Donna couldn’t tell which one it was and neither which one would have scared her more, not as long as the Doctor played his cards so close to his chest.

“D-didn’t you want to establish safe words?” she asked nervously. Talking about playing it secretive, Donna started to feel really uncomfortable with a Doctor in the room she couldn’t see.

“Oh, I did,” he informed her cheerfully. “Two words. As I said, they will only work while you’re under, so there’s no way I could use them while you’re awake. If I should do anything you dislike though, you can say ‘red light’, you probably won’t even be aware of saying it, but it helps me to know when I’m going to far.”

“And the second one?” Donna wanted to know.

“Is the ‘green light’ one. You can utter that when you really like something, I thought that could come in handy, too.” Oh, she could all but hear the bugger smirking. Great, so from now on she would mindlessly blab what turned her on without being aware of it? So much to keeping her arousal hidden.

“And you think that second one was necessary?” she asked.

“Don’t you remember? I was thinking about it, but after you had it I asked if you like it you gave me a ‘green light’”

Donna closed her eyes for a moment of silent embarrassment. Of course, trance-Donna probably had no idea why such a word should be bad. “Fine, leave it in, but it better not work while I’m awake. Now… can you make yourself visible again? It’s getting really weird to talk to myself like this.”

“Of course, there’s something else I need to test anyway,” he said. _Okay, definitely guinea pig_ , Donna thought, then something brushed over the skin on the back of her hand and she let out a breath she hadn’t know she was holding and sank back into trance, leaving everything back. Who cared? So he used her as his test object, maybe she _wanted_ to be used.

Guinea pig or not, there seemed to be a lot of things the Doctor still wanted to test and find out. It wasn’t like Donna felt exhausted at one point, but after about an hour, just like during their last session, the Doctor made the decision to call it a day. Maybe he was worried the different suggestions and states of trance would confuse Donna eventually or maybe he was just aware of her building arousal. Because she was aroused, very much so.

When they had returned into the library Donna had prepared herself for the end of this session. It wasn’t exactly something she was looking forward to, but neither something she wanted to go without. The problem wasn’t the orgasm, not even close, it was just that she had to touch herself with the Doctor in the room. Despite her kinky preferences, this made her feel more than a little uncomfortable, simply because it was only sexual for her. For the Doctor it would be one long, awkward situation, she was sure of that.

Of course all that was of little concern for her right now. Right now Donna was blissfully floating in a trance that had been gradually deepened throughout the session and there were very few suggestions she would have resisted at this point. Especially when they seemed strangely reasonable to her.

“You’ve done very well today and you deserve a reward for that. You’re very aroused at the moment, aren’t you? I wonder if you can feel how aroused you are when you focus on it. Can you feel the tension and how your body longs for release.” Donna shifted in her seat. Of course she could feel it, now that he’d brought it to attention even more than before. “I’m sure you’ve heard that hypnosis can be used during surgeries to numb a person against pain. Of course it can also be used for the opposite, to intensify sensation. It’s so simple, just like turning a dial. Imagine this dial for me. Can you see that it’s now on a normal level, exactly where it’s supposed to be, but you could just as easily turn it up a mark. Do that for me now. Turn it up a mark or two. Are you ready? Good. Right now your body will react much stronger to simple sensations. I wonder if you’re more aware of your arousal now that we’ve done that. Has it increased? Doubled even?”

Donna squirmed in her seat, she couldn’t help it, this wasn’t fair. She desperately wanted to touch herself to get the relief she needed, but she didn’t dare to act without permission, but she hoped the permission would come soon, so she could.

“That’s it,” the Doctor encouraged her. “I can see that you’re close to the edge right now and you might be getting even closer when you remember everything we’ve done today. And that you’re still so deeply hypnotised. You’re so close. A little touch would be enough to give you the release you need, isn’t that right?” She whimpered, waiting for him to finally give her the permission when suddenly she felt his hand brushing over her arm. It was just a soft touch, a stroke like any other, but to Donna in her sensitive state he could just as well have gone down on her. She felt his touch in her most sensitive places, all at once, and came with a gasp. The orgasm had hardly subsided when he already coaxed her back down, making sure to return her perception back to normal and then Donna vanished into the darkness.

How much time passed until she came to again? Donna wasn’t sure and frankly, she didn’t care. She only knew that when she opened her eyes the Doctor was still sitting in his arm chair, his legs hanging over the arm rest and his face hidden behind a book. She furrowed her brows. He was looking like he was waiting. So he hadn’t counted her up? Had he waited for her to wake up on her own? Donna sat up in the seat and a blanket fell to the floor. He had tucked her in?

The Doctor peeked over the rim of his book. When he saw that she was awake he smiled. “Welcome back. How do you feel?”

_Bloody marvellous! Can we do this again? Now?!_ “Good,” she said hoarsely and cleared her throat. “That was… different.”

“Good different or bad different?”

“Very good,” she replied quickly.

His smile turned into a full beam. “Excellent! I was hoping you’d enjoy it, as it saves you the trouble of…”

“Right,” Donna agreed before he could finish that sentence. An awkward moment of silence passed between them and Donna felt how she turned red.

“Is anything wrong?” he asked.

“No,” she shook her head. “No, really. This was amazing. Thank you.” He frowned but nodded eventually. She knew he knew she was keeping something from him, but it was only for the best. How was she supposed to explain to him that she still had to wrap her head around the fact that she had just come because of his touch. She could still feel his surprisingly cool skin against hers and how it had send her flying over the edge. Donna knew none of them had undressed and there had only been one very brief touch, but it had been enough damnit! For her anyway. It was like they were having sex, but without him being aware of it or getting anything out of it and it made Donna feel both vulnerable because he had this control over her, and guilty because she was exploiting him like that.

She couldn’t make him understand, not as long as she hardly understood it herself. It would have worried her more if she hadn’t felt so darn great right now.

So, despite her doubts, those meetings in the library, those sessions, soon became cherished routine for both of them. A way to spend the evening together when no book quite managed to draw them in, when no movie sounded interesting enough or, and that was Donna’s favourite option, when the Doctor had invented a new trick or method he’d like to try. She could never tell how these ideas came to him, but whenever it happened he gave her this promising, slightly smug smile that told her to look forward to the coming evening. And she did. How could she not relish getting her oldest, strongest fantasy fulfilled without having to give anything back in return?

Though this was part of the problem. The Doctor never asked anything in return. Sure, he kept telling her how much fun he had testing and probing, but Donna dreaded the day they’d have exhausted his imagination. Not that it seemed to happen anytime soon, with him and his bigger-on-the-inside mind, but not even he could do something for weeks and still call it new and interesting. It was painful to think about how short-lived this arrangement would be. She had gone all her life without this feeling, but now that she knew it, she had no idea how she was supposed to go without it again. Especially because it was so easy with the Doctor, there were no demands or promises between them, just a fun time between two friends. And he was her friend!… A friend she felt strangely attracted to at times, but a friend nevertheless.

It was dark in her room that night some weeks later, and Donna couldn’t sleep. It was a rare occasion that she felt restless after another session, but tonight she just couldn’t will her mind to go to sleep. Instead of resting, it started wandering to places she didn’t feel like exploring. One of the disadvantages of acting out your kinks is that a big room in your mind is suddenly cleaned out. There’s no need to fantasies about being hypnotised if it becomes part of your real life. Of course, Donna realised grumpily, the Doctor was right. Humans were greedy, never satisfied with what they had and so Donna’s mind filled the empty room with other fantasies. Fantasies of what could happen during their sessions if one of them tripped and risked a little too much. Of course these were absurd fantasies, the Doctor had his safe words now, there was no way he could ask her to do anything “risky”, because her subconsciousness would warn him. Too bad.

Donna curled to a ball under her blanket, squeezing her eyes shut as if to sent her strolling mind a clear message. _Stop this and go to sleep_. But it wouldn’t listen, it had only just begun imagining all the things that would be nice but could never happen. Because there was one thing Donna had understood, an awareness that had left some kind of bitter aftertaste. Most of the time he could give her an orgasm just with suggestions, but it was never the same as it was when she had someone actually touching her; more than a quick brush of skin against skin, mind you. What they did had something hollow about it, a sensation only in her mind, but her body felt cheated.

She opened her eyes to scowl at the darkness. Here she was, getting just the sex she’d always wanted and yet not getting any sex at all. Annoyed she pulled the blanket over her head. She was being ungrateful and she knew it, this was what she had always wished for and she would savour every moment of it, she certainly wouldn’t start gambling with her luck.

It was a decision Donna consciously made that night, because it was the clever thing to do. The one thing she had forgotten was that her subconsciousness had a say in this, too, and it didn’t give a damn about the clever things.


	6. In the Eye of the Storm

While playing - playing, that was what the Doctor preferred to call their sessions - they hardly ever exceeded the time limit of an hour. It was usually enough for about three suggestions he wanted to test, but lately he had started including post hypnotic suggestions into his repertoire. They weren’t much different from usual suggestions, except for the fact that they could kick in almost at random. Not really, of course, the Doctor always knew when they would set in, but they caught Donna by surprise. Once he’d made her sing whenever the word “sound” was said. It came close to breaking the “nothing ridiculous” rule, but the Doctor had assured her that her singing had been flawless and he hadn’t done it to make fun of her, but because he’d enjoyed it. She had let him get away with it, because she knew she hadn’t given him the red light warning, and it was only some singing after all, but she wondered what else her subconsciousness would approve of that she felt a little uncomfortable doing.

“Is the blue lamp still blinking?” the Doctor asked, half buried under the control panel.

“Huh?” Donna looked up from her magazine. She had been so lost in thoughts that she’d read the last two pages without really taking anything in.

“The blue lamp next to the stabiliser buttons. Is it still blinking?”

She stood up from the jump seat to have a closer look at the lamps, her bare feet cold on the ground. “Have you turned the heating down again?” she asked the Doctor grumpily. It wouldn’t be the first time they argued over the temperature. Donna was too cold and he was too warm and finding a compromise both could accept often turned into a row.

“No, I haven’t. It’s 24.8 degrees in here. The perfect temperature, if you enjoy living in an oven.”

Donna frowned, if that was true he had even turned the heating _up_ , but she was freezing. “I think I’m coming down with something. Can I catch a cold in space or do I have to be worried about alien diseases?”

“Actually the TARDIS’s filter should prevent any kind of infection to make it on board, but if you’re not feeling well, I can check you in the med bay,” he offered. Donna pulled a face, she didn’t like the med bay with all its tubes and needles, so she’d rather delay her visit there until it became absolutely necessary.

“Never mind. I can’t see any blue lights.” She rubbed her hands over her arms and shivered. Maybe she should put on a jacket, or at least a pullover or… Donna stopped short.

“Are you sure? There should be a blue light blinking somewhere,” he replied and climbed out from under the control panel to have a look for himself.

“Doctor?” Donna said. “How long exactly have I been walking around in my underwear?”

He seemed surprised for a moment and then smiled. “You’ve noticed then?”

“Spaceman!”

“For about two hours, maybe… almost… three.”

She shot him a glare. He had a perfect internal clock, there was no way she would believe this vague nonsense. “Three hours?!”

“Give or take some minutes, yes. And you really didn’t recognise that?”

“What do you think?! That I _wanted_ to spend four hours naked?!” She wrapped her arms around her chest, fully aware that after four hours there was no inch, no pound and no stretch mark left the Doctor hadn’t seen. She would have grabbed his coat, which he’d tossed over the railing, but it would have hardly been enough to cover anything, he really was too thin for words. She knew that all this was the result of another of his posthypnotic suggestions, but why she had approved of the idea of displaying her body like this was beyond her. “I need to put something on,” she said and fled the control room.

“Donna?” he called after her, but she was already rushing down the corridors to her room. She managed to delay a sob until she’d closed her door. What was wrong with her that she hadn’t stopped this suggestion?! Now that the spell was broken she felt the memory of him implanting the suggestion click in place. She remembered how he’d told her to simply forget her clothes after showering and she remember him telling her how natural it would feel and how comfortable she’d be with wearing nothing but her underwear. She couldn’t even blame him for being careless, because he’d made it very clear that in case of an emergency the suggestion would stop working and she’d make sure to put something on. But despite the Doctor adhering to her safe words she felt humiliated. Why did he have to suggest something like that? Why to her, if he knew what she looked like? She really wasn’t the kind of woman who could shamelessly flaunt her body.

Now his odd behaviour of the last hours made sense - the nervous looks, the stuttering - he must have felt more than uncomfortable with her like this. She wiped the back of her hand over her eyes and stepped in front of the mirror. She didn’t want to, but she needed to see what the Martian had seen. The reflection she saw looked like it always did. Not pretty, but not worse than usual either. The same as three hours ago. How could she have forgotten to put something on after stepping out of the shower? She knew she’d looked at her reflection and she had seen that she was just in her underwear but it had felt oddly okay. She had felt comfortable with her appearance. Not like she did now.

Donna gave herself an unhappy look and put some jeans and a pullover on. This felt better. Protected. But not as good as she’d felt while the suggestion had been working.

The Doctor knocked on her door and made her jump. “Donna? Are you all right?”

“Yes,” she replied, making up her mind. Fine, she felt vulnerable and humiliated, but that wasn’t the Doctor’s fault. He was doing this, all this, because of her and was acting like he was forcing it on her. Every mistake he had made, he had made because he had taken the risk of hypnotising her and she needed him to know that she wouldn’t bite off his head whenever a suggestion took her by surprise. “Yes, I’m okay,” she repeated, calmer than before and opened her door. She even worked on a smile, “sorry for running away, I just didn’t expect that.”

“No, I suppose you didn’t... I shouldn’t have suggested it, sorry.”

She shook her head. “I gave you a green light, didn’t I? It’s not your fault and I’m not angry.” The Doctor frowned. “Really, I’m not. You didn’t break any rules, I just need to get used to finding myself stark naked all of a sudden.”

“You weren’t naked. Not completely,” he objected.

“Right, but… why did you suggested something like this?”

He shrugged, “I found this suggestion in a couple of stories and it seemed okay to try, so I-”

“Wait!” Donna cut him off. “What stories? Y-you’re reading those… Why?!” Those stories some people shared online were nice to spark her dirty imagination now and then, but more often than not they were rubbish when it came to plot, or characters, or emotions or… well, anything but graphic sex.

“Research. Well, certainly not the literary value. I don’t know what kind of suggestions you enjoy so I tried to figure out what is commonly used.”

“Oh,” Donna said and felt silly. He was trying to choose suggestions she would enjoy? “I thought you were doing this because you wanted to analyse my mind or something.”

“I do. I just thought it wouldn’t be fair if I’m getting all the fun myself.”

Did he really think _he_ was getting all the fun? Donna wasn’t sure how to process all this. Spending the last four hours almost naked, the Doctor browsing through her porn sites as if it was nothing and now the growing awareness that he was consciously looking for ways to get her off… No, scratch the last part, this was the Doctor after all, he probably just wanted to make sure his guinea pig didn’t get tired of the experiments. This image, disturbing as it might be, helped Donna. She could live with being his test object. “Okay, but I don’t want you to use those stories for research. There’s so much rubbish in them.”

“Tell me about it,” he sighed. “I don’t know how you stand most of it.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers. It’s not like there’s much literature on this sort of thing.”

“No, I suppose not,” the Doctor replied thoughtfully and then, “okay, so what do you enjoy?”

“What?”

“What do you enjoy?” he repeated, “if you just tell me, I don’t have to force my way through those pieces of ‘fiction’ and I won’t pick up anything that you don’t like.”

Donna stared at him as her brain switched to turbo to remind her of every induction, ever suggestion, ever phrase and every tool that had ever made her skin prickle with excitement, but everything she could stutter was, “you don’t need to do anything different! And I- I’m not going to give you the top ten of my favourite fantasies just so you can have a laugh. I though this is an experiment, so why can’t we treat it like one?”

“I’ve never laughed,” the Doctor said calmly.

“What?”

“I said that I’ve never laughed at you and I’m not going to. I’m asking because I’m curious and to avoid further mistakes, but not to make fun of you.”

Donna let out a breath and curled her fingertips into the fabric of her pullover to remind herself that she felt protected and safe right now. But for the last four hours she hadn’t felt like she needed protection to feel safe and a part of her longed for feeling like this again, but she couldn’t tell him either. Those things were about as private as it got, emotionally and physically. “Thanks, but let’s forget about it, can we? I enjoy what you’re doing already and I don’t want it to get awkward between us. Anymore than it already is anyway, after you’ve seen today you’re traumatised enough,” she said, found a laugh somewhere within herself and forced it out.

The Doctor laughed, too, but compared to Donna he sounded like he meant it. “Traumatised? By what?”

Donna hated him for being thick and for having to explain it to him instead of just burying it deep within herself. She gestured at her, now covered, body. “I saw how the sight spoiled your appetite, Timeboy.”

His smile faltered as he came to realise what had made her run away, “you think you… Oh, Donna, that’s not true. Not even close.”

She raised her hands to stop him, “it’s okay, I know you want to be a good friend about it, but you’ll only make it worse if you lie. Let’s just forget this ever happened.”

“But you cannot really think that I haven’t seen how beautiful you are…”

“I wasn’t fishing for compliments.”

“… for a human, I mean. Not that I’ve any right to judge…”

“No offence, but you call every slimy alien we meet ‘beautiful’.”

“…but I did enjoy looking at you.”

They were talking at the same time again, but now the Doctor quickly closed his mouth. “You what?” Donna asked.

“Nothing.”

“No, but what did you just say?”

He hesitated. Then, “I don’t remember … I said so much,” he replied, but Donna had heard what he’d said all right. She just didn’t know what to make of it. Had he just tried to cheer her up?

She decided that she might be better off not knowing and changed the subject instead. “So, the new suggestion worked.”

“Yup… would you mind using those more often?”

“Not as long as you make sure nothing like this happens outside of the ship. Just imagine me prancing stark naked through France in the middle of their great revolution.”

He smiled, “well, they did fight for _liberté_.”

She swatted at his arm, but not too hard. With this new rule, she felt fairly safe and allowed herself to enjoy the hypnotic influence the Doctor had on her. Even outside the library, at any time and without her being able to prevent it. Of course they had their safe words and the Doctor assured her that it was next to impossible for him to make her do anything she really didn’t want to, but it was still incredible how much control he could have on her from now on. And maybe she should have been more worried about it than she was, but Donna felt she needed it. Not just because she got off on it, but because she wanted to trust someone again. Something she’d thought impossible after her almost wedding. But now it seemed almost in reach. And she hoped he would realise how easily he could break this trust and maybe, if she was really lucky, she wouldn’t be disappointed again.

 

A couple of days later they were sitting in the TARDIS`s telly room and Donna still marvelled at how little their new “hobby” interfered with their everyday life. She had always worried that, if she dared to let a partner know about her preferences, that it would have an impact on their whole relationship. That the Doctor never treated her any differently and, except for his sometimes genuine sometimes playful determination to find out what she liked especially, he still found other topics - a lot of those actually - to talk about made her feel all the more grateful towards him.

Her gratitude didn’t mean she would let him have his way whenever he wanted though.

“Are you sure about this one?” the Doctor held the DVD - a 21st century medium for a 21st century film - up so Donna could see the cover. It was Donna’s turn to choose the movie and she had chosen _What We Did On Our Holiday_ , much to the Doctor’s annoyance. But it was a nice movie and she liked the actor who played Doug… though she kept forgetting his name, she’s always been better naming actors who were all over the press with one scandal after the next than those who lay low. Anyway, she had made up her mind and wouldn’t have let the Doctor talk her into watching a historical romance instead.

“Positive,” she replied and sat back on the comfy sofa.

The Doctor looked at the DVD wearily and then at Donna with a smile she knew couldn’t mean anything good. “We could always do something else,” he said with an eyebrow waggle that told her exactly what he was hinting at.

“You’re just trying to weasel your way out of our arrangement. Forget it, Timeboy! It’s my turn to choose the movie, I sat through _Buddenbrooks_ because of you, you owe me!”

“ _The Buddenbrooks_ is a classic family chronic by Thomas Mann and you fell asleep halfway through,” he reminded her, unwilling to give up quite that easily. “Maybe it’s not the movie that makes you sleepy but something about this room. You do look a bit tired.”

“I know what you’re doing there, don’t even start,” she warned.

“Why not?” he asked and sat down next to her on the couch. “It’d be more interesting than watching one of these movies.”

Donna crossed her arms. “I am knackered and I doubt I can focus on anything long enough to make this work tonight. I just want to switch off for an hour and a half.”

“You could be switched off in two minutes. No effort on your part and no boring movie for me.”

Donna felt a blush creeping on her face and the fact that his smile widened like he’d seen it, didn’t make it any better. “Two minutes?”

“At most.”

“Now you’re just showing off,” Donna replied, trying to sound unimpressed.

“Not at all, Donna. Two minutes at most and you’re under.”

Donna sat up a little straighter. She felt herself involuntarily relaxing and she didn’t mean to make it so easy on him. Could it be that he already had this kind of effect on her without using any tools? If yes then it was high time they stopped, she couldn’t just go under whenever he so much as mentioned it. “What would you be using?” she asked, trying to distract herself from this disturbing idea.

“So you would be up for a try? I wouldn’t need any tools, Donna, not this time.”

For a terrifying, wonderful second her thoughts slowed down. Like a loose contact in her brain she hadn’t discovered until now. “How are you doing this?” she asked, lazily shifting in her seat.

“You tell me. What am I doing? Don’t worry, I’m not breaking any of your rules, Donna, and if you don’t want to go under you know you don’t have to. I can’t force you,” he said. Donna had heard him even though her eyes had temporarily fluttered shut and she had had to pry them open again. His voice had the habit of staying crystal clear in her head even while everything else felt fuzzy. Too fuzzy to see through this trick of his. And she knew there was a trick, it wasn’t just his mentioning of hypnotism that pulled her down but… something else. It was on the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it, if just the Doctor would stop talking for a second.

“Have you found out how it works, yet, Donna?” he asked and leaned back against the sofa so he could look at her. Her muscles had given in and she had sunk back into the cushions. She knew she was about to lose this battle and she didn’t even know why.

She look at the Doctor who was watching her with a mix of amusement and interest and she forced herself to focus on this daft, smug smile of his and composed herself enough to drawl, “it’s something you’re saying. Another one of those trigger suggestions.”

“Very good. What am I saying?” he said and Donna felt the usual, warm glow of being praised but she’d never before looked at him while feeling like that. Usually she was buried in her own little world, but now she was face to face with him and they were sitting so close to each other that their arms were almost touching.

“I don’t know, I’m really tired,” she mumbled.

“That’s okay, Donna. You can’t fight it, Donna, can you? Just switch off, _Donna_.”

His face blurred before her eyes and she thought, wait, that’s it! but the familiar feeling of relaxation was inseparably linked to the certainty that it was okay to do exactly what the Doctor said. So when she heard him call her name again and suggested to close her eyes and just sleep she complied without wasting another thought on the film or on trying to figure out how his trick worked. Her head sank to her chest and she tipped sideway. The Doctor caught her before she could fall.

It was the next bit which Donna was most fond of, when he coaxed her deeper into trance. He told her that he would make sure she was safe and that she could just relax, but she knew that already. He held her in his arms so she wouldn’t fall off the sofa and slowly rocked her back and forth while talking. If this gentle movement hadn’t pulled her even deeper into this sleepy fleeing in which every thought was a bother, she would have wondered if he was even doing it consciously.

“I am going to ask you something tonight and I want you to remember that your rules are still in place, we haven’t forgotten about them. So if you ever don’t want to give me an answer you can easily tell me so, okay?” He waited for her to nod. “Very good, now tell me, is there anything you would want us to do tonight that we haven’t done so far?”

Donna felt a frown on her face. He’d never asked her that before. Usually he happily ticked one thing after the next from his mental tests list. Probably it made sense, he’d been asking her for days, no wonder he took the chance. And now that he did, Donna wasn’t sure what to respond. Sure… there was something she had wanted to do ever since they had started this - maybe even longer - but she dimly remember she had decided not to tell the Doctor. The reason was beyond her now, but there had been a reason…

“It’s okay to tell me,” he said once he’d noticed her hesitation. “Whatever it is. Take a deep breath and feel any kind of doubt or embarrassment just float away. What would you like to do?”

Something seemed to happen to the oxygen in the TARDIS whenever Donna was hypnotised, because when he asked her to take a deep breath for him she felt her tension and resistance just melt away. She’d have to tell him not to meddle with the air once she was awake again, right now her only concern was saying, “I want to have sex with you.” Oh, now that felt nice. She was happy to have gotten it off of her chest. Only the Doctor had stopped moving for some reason, he felt rather stiff against her. 

“What did you say?” he asked.

“I want to have sex with you,” Donna repeated with the calmness of someone in deep trance who’d been talked out of all inhibitions.

“Why? Did I ever suggest anything like this?!”

The frown was back and Donna didn’t like it, it disturbed the fuzzy feeling she was bathing in. “No… don’t think so. You said I should tell you what I want.”

“Right… I did,” he mumbled and then he didn’t say anything else for some moments. And just when the mist in Donna’s head started to clear up, he said, “fine. But I need you to be certain of wanting this.” She felt him straightening up next to her. “In a moment I’m going to wake you up and then you can take a moment to imagine us having sex. You and me. No hypnosis. Make it vivid in your mind, can you do that?”

Donna felt her face growing warm but she nodded. She certainly could do that.

“Good, on the count of three I want you to wake up, you will emerge completely out of trance and when you are awake, remember this image. It is perfectly okay for you to change your mind at that point and just dismiss the idea. If you still want to have sex with me though, you… can kiss me, but only then. Until you’ve made your decision, you don’t have to remember our little talk. Do you understand?” He repeated his instructions for her and, as always, Donna nodded.

“1. 2… 3.”

The first thing Donna said after opening her eyes was, “you bugger.” And the Doctor stared at her. “I thought you were using my name against me, but before I could do something about it, it was too late.”

“O-oh, I see.”

“Did you leave a suggestion or was that just your attempt at trying to distract me from my movie?” she asked.

“No, I err… left a suggestion. I’m not sure if it’s going to work, though… You can try to guess if you like.” He seemed nervous, Donna realised, and felt a stab of suspicious. He’d never looked so nervous after having given her a suggestion. Had he tried something he wasn’t sure she’d be okay with? But no, then she’d given him the red light indication. Not that she actually remembered not giving it to him right now, but at this point she simply refused to let such nagging doubts destroy her growing trust. She wanted to believe he wouldn’t break her rules so ruthlessly unless he proved otherwise.

“Hmm, my arms don’t feel lighter or heavier than usual,” Donna said and moved her arms up and down to check. It wasn’t before she did that that she realised how closely they were sitting together. Actually… she dimly remembered him holding her in his arms at one point, when had he let go off her? _And why?_ A part of her complained which Donna tried to shut up, but it was more stubborn today and refused to go away. _He’s regularly making you cum just by telling you to, do you really feel ashamed for fantasising about his touch?_

But it wasn’t only his touch Donna wanted. She wanted him, right now, on this bloody sofa if need be and she couldn’t say why. She’d always liked him, and liking had become wanting during the last few weeks, but right now she felt she _needed_ him. Maybe it was just her biological clock telling her to get a man no matter the species, but somehow she doubted it was just that. It was him. The way he made her smile and groan about his endless stories and the way he smelled and sounded in the morning. Oh God, this was bad. Making her best mate part of her kinky fantasies was one thing, but those felt like actual _feelings_.

“You’ve stopped guessing,” he reminded her and Donna realised that she’d leaned in closer to him.

_Get a grip!_ “I don’t seem to have forgotten any words, either…” she swallowed without having to. Her mouth was too dry. “Give me a hint.”

Okay, so she liked him. There was nothing wrong with that. He was her best mate after all and she was supposed to like him. But she also wanted him. And it was getting worse. She could hardly shut the image of him out. How he let his skilled hands wander over her and how he felt against her body.

Donna felt herself drawn closer to the Doctor almost by magnetic force. A funny feeling in her head like everything had been filtered out except for the idea of the Doctor and her and the realisation that yes, she wanted to have sex with her best mate.

“A hint?” he echoed and his voice sounded higher than usual. “That’s not how it works.”

But at this point Donna had pretty much stopped caring about everything else. She was dimly aware of saying, “I think it is,” before she gave in to the pull. He could have moved away, or done anything at all to stop her, but when she pressed her lips to his, he closed his eyes and pulled her closer.

Donna felt something inside of herself unravel as if she’d completed a task that had been on her mind for too long… But she couldn’t figure what it was and frankly, she didn’t care. She was too busy not to whimper in delight when she suddenly heard him groan. “Yes! Go on!” and she wondered how he managed to say that since both of their mouths were occupied. And then suddenly she found herself standing in the middle of a house. A more than disorientating feeling.

It was like two images had been position on top of each other. There was the image of the Doctor kissing her and at the same time, in the same spot, the image of a house and she standing in the living room. She couldn’t remember ever physically entering this house, but it seemed so very familiar that she could name every room, every piece of furniture and every spoon in every drawer. _Oh, Donna!_ She heard his voice again, echoing through her head, but for the first time she wished she could just block it off.

And as the house blurred past her she could spot some faint, golden glow behind the windows that seemed to seep in. Through every door and every crack the light flooded into the house and Donna felt like this wasn’t supposed to happen but she couldn’t bring herself to do anything about it either. She felt too weak and too afraid to do much about it, how was she supposed to shut out this… what was it anyway? It felt like pure energy and it frightened Donna, because it was so much stronger than her. So she just watched it filling the house more and more and then suddenly the image of the house dissolved and she was looking at the Doctor again who looked shocked.

“Donna, I’m so sorry!” he said his hands firmly on her arms. She was grateful for that because if not for his support she’d have fallen over and simply lay on the ground like a fish out of water.

“What kind of house was that?” she asked. “What _happened_?!” Her voice didn’t sound like her own, it sounded shriller, like someone who was panicking but Donna didn’t feel strong enough to panic. She just wanted to curl up beneath a blanket and switch of all the lights.

“That house is you… it’s your mind. A visual image of it if you will. I didn’t mean to intrude, really not, but it wasn’t closed at all and I kind of stumbled into it,” he explained and Donna found it hard to keep track of what he was saying, he was talking so quickly.

“You stumbled into my mind?!” she repeated. “How is that possible? And why the house, the last time… it wasn’t like that on the Ood Sphere!”

“Because at the Ood Sphere you were prepared, I had your consent and I just opened your mind for a certain telepathic channel. Like a door. But there was no door at all today and I’m a touch telepath so when we were kissing I kind of… slipped. It must have been due to the trance, you weren’t out of it long enough to close your mind off again.”

“So this golden light... that was you?” She asked and the Doctor nodded. Donna felt tears welling up in her eyes and it took her all her will power to push them back down. She had been terrified by the light, by its pure strength and that this had been the Doctor… “What would have happened if you hadn’t stopped?” she wanted to know and was afraid of the answer at the same time.

He swallowed, “I’m not sure. I’ve never experienced anything like this when I was in anyone’s mind. I could have seen your thoughts and memories and maybe I could have changed things… but I don’t know and I never would try any of that! And I didn’t see a lot! It was an accident, you have to believe me.”

She nodded before she knew that she believed him. It wasn’t so much his good intentions she doubted, but, “was that your suggestion?” She asked. “Did you want to test if something like this was possible? Did you make me kiss you so you could see…?”

He shook his head, “no! No, I’d never have tried something like this without asking you. Not that I believed it possible. My suggestion was about your wish to sleep with me, remember?” Donna pulled out of his grip and gaped at him. “No… apparently you don’t remember it, yet.”

“I wanted what?! Oh God,” Donna buried her face in her hands and felt like she was shrinking in front of him. The Doctor helplessly reached out for her, but changed his mind mid way and lowered his hands. He hadn’t wanted to embarrass her or to trespass her mind, but somehow he’d just managed to do both. “We should never have started this,” she muttered after some moments of silence, but without uncovering her face.

“Don’t say that,” the Doctor replied, “I’ve learned so much about you in those past weeks.”

“Like what?!” she snapped. “That I’m a pervert? That I have trust issues? That my subconsciousness wants to shag you?”

He shrugged, “well, I wouldn’t have put it like that, but… yes.” Donna glared at him so he corrected, “I would have said I’d learned about your psyche and that there’s more to hypnotism than I’d ever have expected. I also discovered that you trust very few people and that I’m amongst them, for better or for worse, which I consider a huge privilege. About the, err, shagging part, I wouldn’t worry too much about that. It’s just natural for you to develop… confusing feeling towards me because of what we’re doing. I admit that a lot went wrong during our sessions, but please don’t say you regret them, because I don’t.”

She looked at him, her chest rising and falling with every sob she was held back. “For every good thing that happened two bad things came up. I have to be completely mental because I let you do this. I mean… it’s sex! I know it’s not for you, but it is for me and every sane person would have seen that this isn’t going to work from the very beginning. But I’ve been too… I don’t know, naive or sexually frustrated or whatever to see it and I know you were just trying to help, but this isn’t going to work.”

The Doctor opened his mouth to argue, but realised he couldn’t. Not after what had just happened. “I see,” he replied. “I’m sorry that it all went awry. I just wanted to help… No, to tell you the truth, I enjoyed this, too. Thanks for letting me do this, Donna and sorry for everything that went wrong.”

“It’s as much my fault as it’s yours. Probably more,” she replied and leaned back against the sofa. She felt drained. Tired, but not in the good way. Just empty. “You know… sometimes I think we should just give it a try.”

The Doctor stared at her. “What?”

“Well, we can’t keep doing it like this. This, meaning I’m getting sex and you hovering over everything like you’re not a part of it.” She took a breath before she added, “I was thinking, either we do things properly or not at all.”

“Donna, I…,” he started and thanked every God that might be listening that Donna cut him off, because he had no idea what he was about to say.

“It’s okay, it was just an idea. I know you’re not interested, but I thought… since I’d already made a fool of myself by telling you, I could just as well make myself clear so you can decide whether or not you’re kicking me out.”

“Kick you… why would I do that?! I don’t want you to leave!”

She frowned and now he could see the tears in her eyes that belied her earlier calmness. “But I thought you didn’t want the Martha-incident to repeat itself. I thought you just want a mate and it’s too complicated now that I…”

He drew her into a hug, “you can’t leave. I wouldn’t allow that to happen,” he said. “You’re stuck with me, Miss Noble. And I have a ship that can go anywhere at any time, you’re not getting rid of me quite so easily.”

She laughed into his shoulder but he could hear her sobbing in between. How long had she been scared he’d kick her out if he figured she wanted to sleep with him? Not that she really wanted, he had to remind himself! “Donna, it’s not as if you want me to err… get closer to you. You want the person who’s been hypnotising you, which incidentally happens to be me. Your mind just drew a connection between the arousal and me. If anyone else had taken my place, you would certainly have projected this wish onto this person.”

She pulled out of his embrace and frowned at him through a haze of tears. “What kind of bullshit is that? Do you think I’d want to shag every old psychiatrist who can handle a pocket watch?”

“Well…”

She punched his arm. “I just admitted I want to shag you, I can’t believe you make me go into detail why I want that. You’re not exactly hard on the eyes, if you need to hear it, and you’re clever and funny enough to make me temporarily forget about how thick you can be sometimes. The hypnotism made me consider that this,” she moved her index finger back and forth between them, “could be possible, but it’s not the main criteria.”

He blinked. If he had understood her correctly then she had just made him a compliment. And not a small one either. “Th-”

“If you say ‘thank you’ I’m gonna clobber you right here with the Harry Potter film box,” she cut him off. “Just tell me that I’m a nice girl, but you’re not interested. It’s not that difficult.”

“And that’d be okay with you?” he asked and Donna shrugged.

“I wasn’t confessing my undying love for you, sunshine, I just thought the idea of you and me being more than mates is worth a try.”

The Doctor couldn’t help but wonder about how easily Donna hid her emotions behind offhand remarks. How many people had she told she didn’t mind their refusal even though it hurt her very much? Because she felt something for him, he knew it, he had seen it, when he’d been in her head, but he had stopped himself before he’d found out what exactly this ‘something’ was. It didn’t have to be love, but it was certainly enough to hurt her when he considered her nothing else but her mate. And how should the Doctor tell her that he wanted nothing more than to chuck their “just mates” rule as far out of the TARDIS as possible, but that he was afraid to take the next step with Donna after what had just happened? “Donna, I like you a lot,” he started.

“Oh God, this is worse than _The Buddenbrooks_ ,” she complained and he could see a streak of raw pain beneath all the sarcasm.

“Donna Noble, please, could you shut up?” he asked to her surprise. “Honestly, just keep your mouth shut while I’m trying to get this straight. I like you Donna. A lot. You’re compassionate and clever and beautiful, f-for a human, I mean. I just think that what happened tonight - me in your mind - that was a warning. It will happen again when you’re hypnotised and I’m touching you. Two things I think would be inevitable if we decide to… sleep with each other. It’s part of how my people mate, there’s always been a mental component to it for Time Lords, but I’m afraid you might not get out of it unharmed.”

Donna raised her eyebrows. “Does that mean you’re actually afraid to _break_ me?”

“It is a possibility! And even if I could show you how to close off your mind, it scared you, right? It still upsets you, why would you want to do this, if you don’t enjoy it?”

“For the same reason you have to hypnotise me, I guess. I want you to get off as well.”

“Well… if we would, we’d have to talk it through. Carefully. You’d have to tell me what’s okay and what isn’t… if we would.”

“I could do that. And you would have to teach me how to keep you out of my ‘house’… If.”

“That’s actually fairly simple…” For a moment nothing happened, then, “d… did we just agree on…?” he asked hesitantly and Donna wrapped her arms around her chest before she shrugged again.

“I suppose we kinda did, yes.”

Both of them frowned and took a second of silence to replay the conversation in their memories until the Doctor dispelled the silence. “… Now?”

“Not now. I still need to recover from the last trip.”

“Right, of course… except we could just do it without any hypnosis. It might be a good idea to get… used to each other before doing something more complicated.”

She rolled her eyes but smiled. This had been a darn short way from just mates to let’s shag right here in the cinema, but she couldn’t say she minded that much. “Maybe that’s not a bad idea, but not now. Tomorrow. I need to wrap my head around everything that’s happened and I s’pose so do you.” She wouldn’t let him have all the control. Not yet anyway.

Despite the delay he raised his eyes widened, “really? So we’re gonna…”

“Shag,” Donna filled in for him. “You’ll have to get used to the word. How long has it been since you last…,” now she didn’t get the word out and instead waved her hand about.

“Not too long, if you consider that this body is still fairly new and… err, I better stop talking now.”

“Why? Do you think I’m going to get jealous? We’re talking about having kinky sex with each other, not a relationship. That means I have no right to get jealous. Neither do you, mind you.”

“Sure, yes,” he replied though he’d rather not think about Donna and another man. But they would shag. Not make love, he’d have to keep the difference in mind… And he probably should find out why this disappointed the unreasonable part of him. But not now. Never now.

Donna leaned over and reached for something on the coffee table and brought the Doctor’s thoughts back into the present. “What are you doing?”

“Switching the telly on, of course. You still owe me a movie. Go and put the DVD in, chop-chop.”

The Doctor growled, but complied. He could bear 90 minutes of boredom as long as it meant sitting next to Donna. And it gave him time to think about everything that was still about to come.


	7. Awaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is. The final part for this fic after so much time. Thanks for your patience and special thanks, of course, to the amazing tkel_paris who volunteered to beta this madness <3 I re-worked bits and pieces, so any mistakes you find are my own.

“I'd say,” Donna panted, “we are compatible.” Now that she slowly calmed down again, she started to get cold and pulled the sheets over herself.

The Doctor laughed. “Absolutely. Very compatible.” He didn’t have a problem with the cold. Or with being seen. Why should he, now that Donna had seen everything anyway? She pulled the sheets even higher.

At least they were compatible. Donna wasn’t sure what she had expected. Maybe something more alien, like tentacles or something more… sonic. Now that she knew exactly what the Doctor hid under his pinstripes she felt more at ease though. Time Lords and humans at least had the same exterior layout.

There were some differences of course. Firstly, there was his crazy stamina. With two hearts and his Martian breathing he hardly ever got out of breath. It had been more than a bit bewildering to get all worked up while the Doctor was breathing calmly almost until the end.

Secondly, and more interestingly for Donna, was the fact that Time Lord sex had a mental component to it. Since the accident in the telly room, the Doctor hadn’t trespassed her mind again, but Donna felt his presence when they were sleeping with each other and he kissed her. The closer he got to the climax, the stronger the presence felt. So far it was nothing more than the feeling of having someone breathing down her neck, but she knew once she would be in trance it would be like before - the house and the light - and she wasn’t sure if she looked forward to that.

Of course the Doctor had shown her exactly what to do once that happened. She knew now how to mentally close herself off. She would be safe inside, while the Doctor stormed outside, but would she be able to keep herself locked up when she was hypnotised? The Doctor seemed very sure of her abilities, and Donna hoped she could trust him with that once more. Because she certainly looked forward to what was about to come. The sex itself was pretty amazing, not that she would ever admit it out loud, but he had certainly picked up a trick or two in his 900-something years and it seemed he enjoyed her “tricks” just as much, but she couldn’t wait to bring hypnotism into this. Because it was the reason for why they were doing this at all and even though it was scary, the day they finally decided they were ready for this was the one Donna couldn’t wait for.

 

When this day came though, it wasn’t Donna who acted all nervous. „Are you sure you want this?“ the Doctor asked, not for the first time.

Donna swallowed all the sarcastic responses back down that came to mind, because she knew he needed a clear yes from her. If tonight anything happened that she would later regret, he‘d blame himself. He was taking as much of a risk as she was. They had slept with each other before, she‘d gone into trance for him before, but now both came together and that‘s where it got tricky. „Yes, I am.“

„Are you sure that you‘re sure?“

„Positive. I trust you, Spaceman.“

„I know.“ 

Donna tried hard not to roll her eyes. „Look, we‘ve discussed my limits, haven‘t we? You‘ve got your safe words. And you‘ve got my permission. Again and again. I‘m ready when you are.“

„There might be things I ask of you, which you wouldn‘t usually do.“

„Well, I hope so!“ Donna appreciated his caution, but she hated that it forced her to spell everything out for him. “I want you to ask for things I usually don‘t do, so... you can make me. It’s the whole point of this kink, really. Except if you’re not okay with taking the control. Because you don’t have to do anything you don’t like either.”

“I don’t mind the control, I’m just worried about you,” he replied and for a moment Donna wondered if he would be able to take the lead in this scenario.

“Good, as long as you’re worried I’m safe,” she said and rested her hands against his chest. “But tonight’s about you. I’m going to do whatever you want me to do,” she felt a bit funny for saying things like that, but at the same time her stomach did a somersault that urged her to go on.

“You’ll let me know when something happens that you’re not okay with. No matter what it is, no matter how small or unimportant it seems.”

She smiled. “Don’t I always make sure you know when I disagree with you?”

He kissed her, harder than usual, and when he released her he said, “A simple ‘yes, Doctor’ or ‘no, Doctor’ will do from now on. No nicknames. Do you understand?”

Donna opened her mouth, wanting to comment on this new masterful tone of his, but instead decided to just go with it and see how it felt. “Yes, Doctor.” It was odd to follow his instruction while she was wide awake, but it was no less of a turn on. She half expected him to switch into a rougher mindset now that he started to order her about, but he didn’t push her onto the bed and he didn’t use any kind of physical force, instead he simply told her to sit down on the bed and she complied. She realised that he didn’t need that to establish their positions for tonight, she had accepted to play along and in a few moments he would put her under which would take the chance of stepping out of character from her altogether.

A pleasant shudder ran down her spine, though she couldn’t deny that she felt a bit nervous. She knew her subconsciousness would be watching all this time, and it wouldn‘t agree to anything she really didn‘t want, but it was also willing to accept a grey area of things that were semi-okay. And this area grew, the deeper the Doctor sent her.

“Are you scared?” he asked her, feeling around in his pocket for something but his eyes were trained on Donna. He had to look down to her because she was sitting on the edge of the bed in front of him.

“A bit,” she replied. He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Err, yes, Doctor,” she quickly corrected.

“Do you want us to stop?”

“No, Doctor,“ she said. This time he didn‘t ask her if she was sure. They were past this. He trusted her to tell him when something went wrong as much as she trusted him with everything else.

“Okay, because I have a gift for you,” he said and finally seemed to have found what he’d been looking for in his pocket. He produced a delicate golden pendant.

Donna immediately recognised the necklace they’d nicked at Adipose Industries. The day that had met again and she’d decided to come with him. The sentimental git. Donna smiled at the idea of using the necklace until he dangled it in front of her eyes, making it swing ever so slightly like a pendulum. She felt a warm tug at her gut at the realisation that pushed everything else to the back of her mind. He just had to know what this did to her. How strongly hypnosis and pendulums were connected in her mind, certainly he knew, but she couldn’t have cared less if it was just another trick to manipulate her. Quite the contrary, she hoped it was exactly that.

“I thought you would like it,” he said and spun the golden chain between his index finger and thumb. Donna watched it spin, half fascinated half nervous. “I can see that you’re already unable to take your eyes off of it. That’s good, because from now on we will use this pendant a lot. You’ll realise that after a while, you’re mind will start connecting the sight of it to the feeling of going into trance. This connection could become very strong and I want you to think carefully about if this is what you want or not.”

It wasn’t until the next day that the Doctor explained to her that he needed something obvious for her mind to form a connection to trance to, otherwise he would have ended up being this connection and that could become a problem for their everyday life together. But right now everything Donna knew was that the idea of such a connection sounded very tempting. “Yes, Doctor.”

“Very good, of course I will take good care of the pendant, so you needn’t worry about all this too much.” He stopped the rotation of the chain and instead started swinging it in front of Donna’s eyes. She traced its motion without having to be told to. “In fact, you don’t have to worry about anything at all. Let me take care of everything, just follow the pendant with your eyes as it swings to and fro. Let the rest of the world fade away. There’s just this pendant and my voice.”

At first Donna had found it difficult to follow this suggestion since there were so many background noises in the TARDIS that distracted her, but by now she was used to the distinct tone of voice the Doctor saved only for this occasion and it had become simple to tune everything else out. Her sight zoomed in until there was only the pendant left, she could even spot the notch in the middle of it that caught the light and reflected it into different directions.

„That‘s it. You‘re a very good subject, did I ever tell you that? You just need to take a deep breath in... and let it out again to relax. I wonder if you can already feel how you start to sink into trance? Can you describe this feeling to me?“

Donna remembered how he‘d told her someone had explained to him it would feel like dozing off and how the description hadn‘t seemed to satisfy him. Now that she was slowly drifting from consciousness into trance she couldn‘t think of a better comparison. She still tried to describe it to him. One day she‘d have to ask him why he didn‘t simply found out himself. „It feels... fuzzy,“ she started, because it was the word that came closest to the feeling of her thoughts petering out. „And somehow warm. And everything‘s slowing down and... I feel really calm.“ Her gaze was still locked on the Doctor‘s pendant, so she couldn‘t look at his face to find out if the answer had been what he wanted to hear, so she added with a smile. „It feels pretty amazing.“

„Does it?“ he said, almost to himself. „And did you realise that you‘re unable to look anywhere else but at the pendant? Even if you wanted, but why would you want that? Do you feel yourself gradually relaxing every time it swings from left to right?“

She nodded, yes, now that he mentioned it, she did. Every time the pendulum swung right and lost its momentum, this moment before it changed the direction to swing back, send a wave of relaxation that seemed to pull Donna farther down with it.

„I know you‘re so close to going under now, but I wonder if you can fight it just a little longer to listen to me?“

On cue Donna‘s eyes slipped shut but she pried them open them again with a slight shudder. She hadn‘t actively fought a trance since the incident in the cave and she was afraid she wasn‘t very good at it. Mainly because she didn‘t _want_ to be. She wanted to go under, but she also didn‘t want to disobey his instructions, so she put up an effort to keep her eyes open and on the pendant.

„Good girl, just like that. Try not to give in to the trance just, yet.“

Didn‘t he know that these comments only made it harder to resist? And it was pretty hard anyway. It was like she was trying to push upwards and the Doctor pushed down and told her not to give in even though both of them knew it was only a matter of time until she couldn‘t fight it any longer. Damnit, it would only take a word from him to break her resistance, so where was the point in this exercise? Everything it did was showing her that she was at his mercy already, only minutes into this session and that, for some reason, this made her brain flood her body with all kinds of nice endorphins... Oh, so that was what he was trying to do. She had told him about how losing the battle against trance had turned her on back then.

„I can see that you‘re still struggling to stay awake, but it‘s getting harder, is it not?“

Donna felt her eyelids fluttering and her heart skipped a beat.

„You‘ve been doing very well and I can see that it‘s an effort to stay awake. So on the count of three you can allow yourself to stop fighting and just let the trance take over.“ He counted in time with the pendant‘s motion, but to Donna those three seconds felt like hours and the last number had hardly left his mouth when her eyes closed and she felt the last remnants of tension draining out of her. She tipped forward, but the Doctor stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, his thumb brushing against her collarbone. „Down you go. Deeper and deeper down. Very good, you can stop fighting, just relax. Why don‘t you lie down on your bed? I‘m sure that would feel even better.“

Donna didn‘t know how she managed to travel all the way from the edge of her bed to the middle of it. It seemed like an odyssey, but fortunately the Doctor was there to guide her. He‘d been right, she felt better now that she didn‘t have to worry about sitting upright.

„How do you feel?”

Because every new sentence would have taken an hour to form in her mind and find its way out of her mouth she simply replied with the two familiar words that automatically popped up. „Green light.”

„Good, I want you to enjoy what we‘re doing. And you enjoy feeling so relaxed and open to my suggestions, don‘t you?” Again she agreed, there was no point in denying it, he knew that already. „That‘s right. Because I need you to realise that tonight obedience and pleasure will be two sides of the same coin for you. Whenever you do as I tell you, you‘ll feel yourself getting more and more aroused. The longer you resist my order, the more difficult it will get. Let this suggestion sink in, it will work for the whole night, and only tonight. Do you understand?“

„Yes, Doctor,“ she said, not really aware of what his words meant. She heard him clear in her head, but as soon as he said a word, the previous one kind of slipped away, past her conscious barriers and her subconsciousness accepted every one of them. To Donna he could just as well have spoken a different language. All she knew was that his tone was soothing and encouraging her to stay in this blank state for as long as he needed her to.

A minute could have passed like this or an hour, Donna had no idea, but when the Doctor told her it was time to wake up, she knew she wouldn‘t have minded staying like this a little longer. She blinked her eyes open and sat up a little, her jellyfied muscles complaining. The first thing she realised was that she was already wet, all the talking about obedience and arousal was new. Usually it was subtext, but apparently her body valued directness.

The next thing she realised was that she and the Doctor were still very much clothed. “Did I miss a lot?” Donna asked, not sure if she was allowed to ask questions, but quickly dismissing that thought. She was allowed whatever she needed to feel good.

“Not really, just the boring preparations,” the Doctor said. 

This meant right now her mind was a minefield. Every word, every gesture, every _thing_ could trigger a reaction she could only begin to imagine. She smiled, this was the best even though most disturbing feeling she’d ever had. “I didn’t expect you to wake me up, if I’m honest.”

“I couldn’t have you sleep away the whole session,” he replied with a wink. “No, don’t worry. If everything’s going according to plan you’ll go in and out of trance a couple of times tonight. Did you enjoy the induction though?”

„Yes, Doctor,“ she said. It was eerie how quickly she‘d grown used to this kind of answer. Eerie, but hot. If the look he was giving her was anything to go by, he had just thought the same.

„Good, why don‘t you get a bit more comfortable? Undress for me.“

Donna knew she‘d turned red. Just like that? He usually didn‘t order her about when she wasn‘t in trance, so his bluntness came as a surprise. Not to mention that he knew how she felt about her body. She had hoped they would undress each other in the heat of them moment and that she could cover herself up with the sheets before he‘d seen everything, like she had been doing the last couple of times.

Taking a deep breath she stripped off her cardigan, her socks and her belt. It wasn‘t much, but for some reason even this little action send a pleasant shudder up her spine. Still, she certainly wasn‘t going to give him a proper strip show, so if that was what he expected than he could go and-

„Go on,“ he said.

She glowered at him. „Just like that? I‘m doing the whole work and you‘re just sitting there, watching?“

„Pretty much so, yes.“ She glowered again so he added with a smile, „Trust me, you‘ll enjoy it. Undress for me, Donna.“

Somewhere inside of her something stirred uncomfortably. She‘d hardly felt it the first time, but now that he‘d repeated his order she felt it more urgently. Something that told her she had better be doing what he said. It wasn‘t fear, it felt more like she owed it to him to do his bidding.

Slightly puzzled she started unbuttoning her shirt. She knew that she was working on a suggestion of his and at some point her subconsciousness had thought it‘d be a good idea, but that didn‘t make it much easier. She tossed her shirt aside and felt her hair stand to an end. Since when did her body react so strongly to being undressed? Especially by herself?

„You‘re still wearing clothes,“ the Doctor reminded her, not that it had been necessary.

„I know! Why don‘t you come here and take them off, if you want to look at me so badly.“

„That‘s not how it works. Not tonight. You agreed to doing this, remember? Or do you want us to stop?“

„No! No...,“ Donna felt torn between how much she enjoyed being compelled to do something she didn‘t like to do and how embarrassed she felt about it. And if all this wasn‘t bad enough this strange feeling reappeared and it nudged her to stop struggling and just do as she was told. „I could take of my trousers and then stop,” she offered.

The Doctor shook his head. „Either you obey or you don‘t. I won‘t force you, but I‘m not bargaining either. I want you to undress. Do you understand? I _want_ to.“

Was that supposed to mean he enjoyed looking at her? Sure, blokes enjoyed oogling all kinds of breasts, that meant nothing. And yet Donna knew she was getting nowhere with this negative attitude. She could stop this here or she could get what she wanted... if she gave him what he wanted. With shaking fingers she undid her trousers and unclipped her bra. The chilly air against her skin made her hair stand to an end, but not only that. Donna felt herself shaking even stronger, but this time with arousal. What was going on here? What had the Doctor said?... „You‘ll enjoy it“. Donna swallowed and quickly stripped off her knickers. What followed was another rush of arousal.

She wrapped her arms around her chest and pulled her knees closer to herself to cover herself the best she could. She felt completely vulnerable, naked and hypnotised and turned on without having once been touched.

„Good girl. Oh, Donna, you‘re beautiful,” he said and crawled over the bed to her. Donna eyed him up, he was one to talk, he was still completely dressed and that made her feel even more vulnerable.

„So much for making me do things I don‘t want to. Will I be feeling like this whenever I do what you tell me?”

„For tonight, yes,“ he said and brushed a streak of her hair aside so he could take the sight of her in more properly. „I wish you weren't hiding from me. Why do I have to use this kind of tricks to get to look at you? You‘re gorgeous, really you are.”

„Give it a break, Spaceman.”

„Give it a break, _Doctor_ ,” he corrected. „No nicknames tonight. You still have to learn a lot. For example, if I compliment you, accept it. I wouldn‘t be doing this if I wasn‘t crazy about you.”

She still wasn‘t sure whether or not to believe him, but she decided that she could go with it tonight. Tentatively she loosened her hug around herself and saw that he smiled. He pulled her closer and kissed her. Donna felt his suit against her bare skin, it was an unsettling but arousing sensation. Her breath caught as she felt his hand cupping her breast.

„Lie down,” he said and Donna dropped her guard slightly to lay back, mainly to find out what would happen. The result was a feeling of pleasure in her lower anatomy followed by the Doctor rolling his thumb over her nipple. She whimpered and he took that as in invitation to use his tongue on her other breast. The feeling almost drove her mad. If he wasn‘t stopping this anytime soon, this would be over very soon.

„What are you doing?”

His hand had wandered downwards and drew lazy circles over Donna‘s pelvis. He smiled. „Just hold still.” This time doing as she was told was physically difficult, because she felt her body wanting to move against him, urge him on as his hand finally found her entrance. He smoothed a finger over her clit, teasing her, before he entered her. One finger and then two he pushed into her and Donna desperately buried her nails into the mattress, because she didn‘t want to disobey his „hold still“ instruction. The resulting rush of pleasure together with the Doctor crooking his fingers sent Donna over the edge. He pulled out and looked at her, clearly satisfied with himself. „Are you all right?”

Donna took a heavy breath before she nodded. „Was... that it?”

„Pardon?!”

„No, don‘t get me wrong. This was pretty amazing, but you‘re... not even undressed and I‘m done.”

For some reason this made the Doctor smile. „You‘re not done before I say so, Donna. This was just so you get a taste of what it can be like.” Oh, yes, he definitely didn‘t mind the control. Actually, he seemed to be enjoying this situation quite a lot, so why not make the most of it?

„So you say there‘s more to come?” she asked and ran his tie through her fingers. „We could get rid of this for example, if you ask me nicely.” She pulled him down to her so she could kiss him. There it was again, this feeling of something that wanted to come in, like a vague feeling it flickered at the outskirt of Donna‘s mind, just beyond her reach. She knew he was holding back so he wouldn‘t intrude her mind. He‘d taught her how to lock herself up, so nothing could happen, but the fact that he still held back told Donna he was still calm enough to keep himself in check. She didn‘t want him calm.

He pulled back and looked at her with dark eyes. „We both know I don‘t need to _ask_.” He let his fingers trail over her belly, drawing circles there that could have a meaning or none at all, Donna didn‘t really care. „We‘ll take care of me in a moment. Right now I‘d much rather you were taking a deep breath in for me and focus on my touch.”

Donna‘s eyes wandered to his finger on her skin. He drew slow, deliberate circles on her belly as if it were a canvas. Always the same in a certain pattern. Maybe they had a meaning after all. She took a breath in through her nose and slowly let it out again, watching her belly rising and falling as she did so. She felt calmer right away, this wasn‘t part of his suggestions, breathing like this always worked like a spell. She knew where this was going though and she was looking forward to it. She was good at this part.

„Very good, once again. And as you lie there, breathing for me, you can pay close attention to the pattern I‘m drawing on your skin. Can you picture those circles in your mind? Can you see them?“

This time Donna closed her eyes so she could focus on the imaginary circles. He kept repeating them over and over again and after a few tries, Donna could see them clearly before her mind‘s eye. The funny thing was, what she saw looked somewhat familiar, but she couldn‘t quite say where she knew this image from.

„Very good. Can you see them now? Make them as clear as you can while you‘re listening to me. Follow my motion as I draw the pattern.”

Donna let out another breath and felt her body sinking back into the mattress. She could picture the Doctor‘s hand drawing the circle before her eyes. It wasn‘t quite a spiral, but drawing it did require an inward motion that seemed to draw Donna in.

„That‘s it. Follow the pattern. Let it relax you. You‘re such a good subject, I‘m sure you could take yourself down into trance without me having to say anything. I could just draw this pattern over and over again and you‘d feel yourself sinking deeper into hypnosis with every circle. You wouldn‘t be able to fight it this time, would you? And why would you want to? It still feels so nice to follow my instructions.”

Nice was an understatement, Donna felt her skin burning under his touch and the heat spread quickly, but she didn‘t think too much about that. Her attention was completely absorbed by the mysterious pattern he drew in her mind. Either she was a really good subject, or it was just easier to hypnotise her because she was still under his influence from before. This way or the other, she wished it could always be so easy to reach this level of relaxation and openness. And he still lulled her deeper, entwined these circles around her, until Donna wasn‘t sure she could feel any better.

„Can you hear me?”

She could hear him, she always could, just answering was more difficult. If she hadn‘t been pretty much knocked out she would have wondered if he‘d gotten carried away or simply underestimated the effect he had on her. „Yes, Doctor,” she said. Her voice sounded quiet and slow, but speaking had been worth the effort, because she was instantly rewarded by a rush of pleasure and the Doctor‘s encouragement.

„Good girl, I know you‘re very very deep right now, but you‘ll find that your body doesn‘t find it difficult to move while you‘re feeling so good. In fact, it‘s so easy to just sit up without letting it disturb your trance. Take it slowly, get used to moving. You‘re doing very well.”

Donna pushed herself upright and found that it took some time, but it didn‘t wake her up. „Open your eyes. Don‘t let anything bother you, just look at me.” Now this was simple, Donna didn‘t want to look anywhere else anyway. Right now she felt a strong connection to the Doctor. It was his voice in her mind after all, so focusing on him made sense. Everything looked blurred at first, but then the Doctor swam into focus.

He looked her right in the eyes and then nodded to himself. „You‘re really deep right now. That‘s fine, don‘t worry, I‘ll make sure nothing happens to you.” He touched his hand to her cheek and Donna felt the mental connection flaring up again for a second before he let go of her. „Do you remember how to lock your mind up?”

„Yes, Doctor.”

„Excellent. Don‘t forget about it. Now why don‘t you help me with my jacket?”

Donna was glad her fingers seemed to remember how to unbutton jackets, otherwise she‘d been lost, her mind was covered in a thick fog. „That‘s it. And while you do that, I want you to listen carefully. You enjoy when I touch you, right? But you want to touch me, too. So to make sure, we‘re both enjoying ourselves, for the rest of the night, and only for tonight, you won‘t cum until I have. Sounds fair, doesn‘t it?”

_Probably..._ „Yes, Doctor.” She had undid those buttons and helped him out of the jacket now.

„Very good. Now let‘s wake you up again, so you can help me properly with this. Close your eyes and feel yourself emerging from trance with every number. You‘ll be wide awake, with your instructions firmly in place, when I reach zero. Five… Four...“

Donna felt as if she was slowly getting out of a hot tub and at zero she opened her eyes and found herself looking at a grinning Doctor.

„You know that I remember everything you‘ve just said, right?”

„Of course. I didn‘t tell you to forget about anything. And I think you still have a task to finish. You wanted to help me with my tie, didn‘t you?”

So it wasn‘t humiliating enough to sit here in front of him naked, now he also expected that she undressed him without him lifting a finger. „You really enjoy telling me what to do,” she said, but started loosening his tie anyway.

„I won‘t deny that I enjoy this more than I expected. How about you?”

Donna had just put his tie aside and her body thanked her by sending a delicious wave of heat through her lower belly. What did he want to hear? He knew she enjoyed this. As twisted and slightly humiliating as it was, she enjoyed every moment of it. She was a little worried she enjoyed it too much though. Hadn‘t he just made it clear that she wouldn‘t cum until he did? Well, she was already worked up and he looked as if he was about to win the local chess tournament. She had to do something about this soon, or things would get uncomfortable.

„I expected to enjoy it, I‘m just surprised at how well you‘re coping. I didn‘t expect that you can be so compelling if you want to.”

„Can I?” he asked.

„You have no idea.” Donna made sure to brush his neck as she started unbuttoning his shirt. „I‘m in a tricky situation here.” She opened a button. „I can‘t resist your instructions, not for long anyway,” another two open. „But if I give in and let you control me...” he closed his eyes as she opened two more buttons. „I‘ll soon be having a problem. And I really, really want you to control me, you see?”

His chest was rising and falling visibly as Donna moved her hands over his shoulders to strip the shirt off of him. He glanced at her once she had stopped undressing him.

„Tell me what to do, Doctor.”

Something flared up behind his eyes „Come here.” Donna obeyed and he pulled her against himself, pressing his lip to hers. She could feel his chest against her breasts and heard a guttural sound coming from him in response. His hands wandered up into her hair and Donna‘s fingernails left their imprints on his back which only urge him on.

He pulled her down on top of him as he lay back down. With his hands on her bum, he pulled her even closer against him. Donna whimpered and almost didn‘t hear him groan, „trousers.” It was everything she needed. Donna started to work on his fly with shaking fingers. She helped him out of his trousers and was greeted by a familiar feeling of pleasure after having completed another task and her breath caught in her throat. She needed relief and she needed it soon.

Donna smoothed her hand over his boxers. He sucked in the air and she got rid of the annoying piece of fabric before he could tell her to and thereby turn it into another source of building arousal. She closed her hand around him and began pumping up and down. He groaned as he hardened under her touch, but Donna couldn‘t wait much longer. „We‘ll have to try something different,” she said and let go off him. He was staring at her while she planted a kiss on his belly and sucked her way farther down. Then he understood.

She close her mouth around him, making sure he felt every move of her tongue as she moved up and down in a tantalising rhythm. She heard him growl her name and he swore in a language she assumed to be Gallifreyan. She knew he swore because the TARDIS didn‘t translate it for her. She didn‘t need a translation to know that it was working on him though.

„Oh, Donna, stop!”

Donna allowed herself to smile. He‘d been the one who‘d told her to take care of him before she could have her own climax, but despite her resolve not to make it so easy for him, she found herself releasing him. Of course, she still couldn‘t ignore his instructions. She sat up despite herself and the next wave of arousal hit her hard. She whimpered.

„I didn‘t expect that,” he admitted and pushed himself upright. Satisfied, Donna recognised that he was slightly short of breath. „You worked hard enough for your reward, I think.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. She was almost burning up under his touch and then a heavy shudder ran up her spine as she felt the Doctor pushing into her. Not physically, but she suddenly felt his presence in her head and then her vision started flickering and she closed her eyes. The image of the house filled her head once more, but this time she was prepared for it. She and the Doctor had practised what to do, but now that her head was flooded with all kinds of other emotions, things were more complicated.

Outside of the windows Donna could see a bright light, like someone had turned up the sun, but she knew that this was the Doctor and this time he seemed so much… brighter than during their practises. “Donna!” his voice echoed through her head and she shook herself out of her paralysis. She forced her attention to the doors, closed and mentally locked them. Next came the windows, she made sure her house was completely closed just as the Doctor had taught her, but when the light - when he - reached her, she gasped. Had she forgotten something? Would she be able to keep him out? The light that shone through the windows was dazzling and Donna wished that in here she had eyes she could close.

After the first moments had past, Donna dared to move closer to the windows to have a look outside. She saw nothing but the bright, golden light and it terrified her how small she suddenly felt. Tentatively she reached out her hand and when her fingers touched the glass she realised how warm it was. She smiled, having him so close was terrifying, but it had something wonderful. Something beautiful that made her wish she could step outside and remove this last barrier. Her sudden envy for Time Ladies must have influenced her determination to keep him out, because some of the light seeped in. Through cracks under the door or around the windows and just when Donna was sure she wouldn’t be able to shut him out for much longer, he retreated. The light faded away and Donna managed to open her eyes.

Both were breathing heavily and the Doctor gave her a look that was clouded with passion, but also something different… regret. If he regretted that he’d spent too long or that he couldn’t spend more time in her mind was beyond her, but then he pressed his lips to hers and the question was pushed to the back of her mind.

He didn‘t need to push her onto the bed, he just needed to tell her to lie down and Donna found herself on her back a moment later, her hair spread out on the sheets. The Doctor was on top of her instantly, restricting her even more, but she didn‘t mind the feeling of being caught. She had been the entire evening anyway, just that it wasn‘t just mentally but now also physically and it added to her growing arousal.

She reached out for the drawer of her nightstand and produced a little plastic square from it. She was on the pill, but better safe than sorry. The Doctor positioned himself in front of her entrance. Moving slowly. Too damn slowly.

„Doctor!”

„Say please.”

_The bugger._ „Please, Doctor!” He‘d never let her hear the end of begging him, but right now she couldn‘t have cared less. Once again the fact that she‘d done what he told her made itself felt, at this moment she would have done anything, if it just meant getting the release she desperately needed.

He pushed into her with a groan and Donna sighed. Finally. They moved against each other, with each other, finding their rhythm. She was so close that it almost drove her insane, but something held her back. And just when frustration threatened to take over, he thrust into her once more and she could feel him shuddering as the orgasm hit him hard and this was every permission her body needed. Donna came with a cry that was followed by silence only dispelled by her and the Doctor‘s heavy breathing.

The tempest of emotions and hormones subsided slowly and left Donna feeling exhausted and tired. Really tired. She buried her face in his shoulder and closer her eyes. Just for a second. Relaxing the eyes. Inhaling his scent and bathing in the heat around them… Oh God, she couldn‘t fall asleep right after sex! But she couldn‘t get her eyes to open anymore and her body felt so heavy all of a sudden.

„´s okay,” the Doctor crooned, „just sleep, you‘re safe.”

_I don‘t think I can go again_ , was the last thing that crossed Donna‘s mind before she succumbed to darkness once more. In a corner of her mind she was aware that the Doctor cleaned up after them, maybe visited the bathroom, and tugged her in, but it all failed to concern her. She‘d been going in and out of trance too many times, she felt like a yo-yo, she‘d do whatever he told her as long as she didn‘t have to focus on anything difficult.

„You did so well tonight,” he said and she felt him kissing her forehead. „In a moment it‘s time for you to really wake up. I‘m slowly going to count to 5 and you can feel yourself gradually waking up. Let the trance dispel and take every last suggestion with it as you completely wake up.”

He counted slowly. Giving Donna enough time to really get her bearings, get used to her mind being a place of her own and her body obeying only her. She opened her eyes at 3, but listened to him counting until he was done and she felt fairly normal again.

He kissed her and she was a bit taken off guard. When he lay down next to her under the sheets he chuckled, he actually seemed a little euphoric. „It worked. Who‘d thought it would? Not that I expected it to go awry, but I did expect some trouble. I think it went smilingly for our first try, don‘t you agree? Donna? Oh, Donna, what‘s wrong?!”

Donna buried in face in the sheets to muffle her sobbing, but she couldn‘t stop crying. Why couldn‘t she stop?

„Did I say something?“ the Doctor asked, his hands hovering inches over her as if he wanted to hold her but didn‘t dare touch her. „Did I do something? Donna, what happened? Wherever I went too far, tell me, I... I don‘t know what‘s wrong.”

„You didn‘t... I don‘t know,” she sobbed. It was the truth, everything she knew was that she was crying, it was disgusting. „I‘m sorry!”

„You don‘t have to be sorry... Do you want me to leave you alone?”

„Do you _want_ to leave?”

„Of course not! But if you‘d rather not see me for a moment...“

Donna shook her head. She wanted to hide, but she didn‘t want to be alone. The idea to be alone right now terrified her more than anything. The Doctor‘s euphoric smile had vanished and his eyes scanned her. Donna hated herself for spoiling the mood like this. „You did nothing wrong, I was happy!... I‘m just not happy now. I‘m sorry.” She sounded incoherent and pathetic, but she couldn‘t help it.

„You don‘t have to apologise, it‘s okay. Do you want to drink something? Or eat something? Are you hurt?”

Donna shook her head every time.

„Do you want me to hold you?”

„I think so.”

He moved closer and wrapped her in his arms. She felt him letting out a trembling breath. Was that a sigh? „I must be so annoying. Asking all this of you and now I‘m sobbing for getting it.”

„You‘re not annoying,” he said. „I‘m just worried, because I don‘t know why you‘re feeling bad or what I can do about it.” She felt his hand on her hair and closed her eyes. „And I‘m scared. I‘m scared that I did something to you and you‘re too scared to tell me.”

Donna would have loved to tell him that if he had crossed any limit she would have let him known about it very clearly, but right now she didn‘t feel it in herself to make threats. She felt less like herself than just moments ago under hypnosis. „I‘m not scared of you, I just... it doesn‘t make sense. I enjoyed what we did, a lot, but I wish we hadn‘t done it. I wish I‘d never told you.”

„Why?” he moved back so he could look at her and she saw that he was hurt.

„Because it‘s so close. It‘s silly, but this was a secret I never wanted to tell anyone... it‘s too personal. I feel like I‘m naked and you‘re looking at me and I can never go back to how it was before. You said you‘re not judging me, but of course you are. It‘s what people do, they form an opinion and _judge_. No one‘s neutral.”

„Okay... you‘re right. I have formed an opinion. How couldn‘t I? I am part of this Donna. I got off on this as much as you did.”

„You liked the sex-part, not the other stuff,” she sniffed.

„Do you think me so innocent? I liked the control, Donna, especially because it meant controlling you. There were moments when I had to hold back because I felt almost high on power. And that‘s why I need to make sure I didn‘t cross any of your limits in the heat of the moment. Because that you let me have this kind of control over you… that you do it voluntarily…” He seemed unable to find the right words to tell her why it was so important to him.

Donna sobbed but managed to wipe away her tears. That he said something like this about himself, that he got off on something perverted like this, even though he liked to act all dignified, somehow made it easier. „You didn‘t cross any limits. I just feel like I could have done better.”

„You did wonderfully,” he said and pulled her back into his embrace. „You trusted me. I know you said you do, but it‘s such a small word, people use it all the time. You trusted me tonight and that means a lot to me, Donna. Thank you.”

They lay together for some time until Donna managed to say „I didn‘t mean to cry,” without starting to cry again.

„It‘s all right, it‘s normal to feel a little down after everything we‘ve done tonight. I should have given you more time to wake up… Do you feel any better now?”

„Yeah, the talking helped. The hugging isn‘t half bad either. Thanks.”

„Anytime, and now you need to drink. I’ll be right back,” he said and left the room. Donna took the chance to go to the loo. Her legs felt wobbly under her, like she‘d run a marathon and in the mirror she saw that her eyes were swollen from crying. She sprinkled her face with cold water and slipped back under the sheets before the Doctor returned with cold water and biscuits.

„What‘s this? Some kind of post-coital picknick?”

„If you want. But half of it is for me,” he replied with a smile.

“And I thought I was getting treats for subbing,” Donna said and reached for a biscuit. The Doctor grimaced. “What?”

“Don’t call it ‘subbing’.”

“Why not?”

“Because if you’re the sub, what does that make me?”

Donna frowned. “The dom?” she offered through a mouthful of biscuit.

The Doctor grimaced again. “Nah, I don’t like it. Sounds like I’m bossing you around. I was only doing what you asked me to do, wasn’t I?” He took a sip from the water and pointed the water bottle at Donna. “If we look at it like that, you were the one in control. I was just following instruction.”

Donna took the bottle and grinned. “Yeah, I like that idea. I don’t think I’d make for a very good sub anyway.”

The Doctor smiled. “Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Donna knew he was relieved they could make jokes again. She felt relieved, too. They snuggled together and she was really grateful for the water even though she didn’t trust her stomach to deal with more than one biscuits.

„Are you staying?“ she asked as she lay back, her eyes feeling droopy again, but this time without the Doctor’s help.

„If you let me,” he replied and lay down with her, the TARDIS dimmed the light a little.

„Just until I‘ve fallen asleep, okay? You don‘t have to stay all night.”

„I might catch up on sleep, too,” he said as he pulled her closer. „I‘ll be here when you wake up.”

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

And he kept this promise. When Donna woke up the next morning, feeling as if she’d slept for days, he was sitting on the bed next to her, still in his pyjamas, his specs on his nose, and the screwdriver in hand. He seemed to be recalibrating it. “Morning,” he smiled, once he’d seen she’d woken up and then, somewhat less enthusiastic, “how do you feel today?”

Donna’s brain needed a moment to run some kind of emotional survey. “Good,” she said. “At least not like crying… Still can’t believe we did… what we did.”

The Doctor removed his glasses and nodded, “I guess it’s not the kind of sex you have every day.”

Donna crossed her arms, “of course you’ve had much kinkier sex in your life?”

His eyes wandered to the ceiling as if he needed to think about it, “well, kinky is relative. This was a first time for me, too, though.”

“So…?”

He quirked an eyebrow. “So?”

“What do you think?! We already knew it’s something I’d enjoy… how about you? Did you imagine it to be like that?”

“Some parts came as a surprise, but most of what happened worked according to plan.”

Donna punched his arm. “Could you stop sounding like a computer for once!?”

“What do you want to hear?” he asked, rubbing his arm. “I think it’s obvious that I enjoyed what we did. I had an orgasm, you had two - which, I daresay, is a good start.”

Donna’s eyebrows shot up. He really could make sex sound like any other activity. A hobby so to say. Like playing tennis. To him they could be tennis partners, was that it? ‘3 orgasms, not bad but we can do better!’ Donna wasn’t sure if she liked the idea. She had said it was just shagging without emotions, but wow, this reaction was downright frosty.

Except that his expression didn’t want to match his words. He watched her attentively. Awaiting her reaction. When she said nothing he added, “… always assuming that this was the… err… start of course. Not the end.”

“…if you want it to be.”

“What do _you_ want?”

“Well, what do _you_ want, Spaceman?!”

“I wasn’t the one crying last night. I want that you’re happy, that’s all,” he said and slowly it dawned on Donna why he sounded so distant and vague. He was still afraid he was talking her into something she didn’t want.

“I don’t know why I cried last night,” she admitted and slowly sat up. “Maybe it was all a bit too much, but I meant it when I said that I enjoyed it. And I’d like to do it again, but not if you just do it to do me a favour.”

“I’d say you rather did me a favour last night,” he said and shook his head with a smile. “I really didn’t expect that. It… rather sped things up.”

Donna couldn’t suppress a grin, but tried to be casual about it. “I needed to speed things up. I couldn’t finish until you had! What were you thinking when you suggested that?!” She laughed despite herself.

He nodded, “maybe my timing was a bit off with that suggestion. Duly noted, I’ll work on that next time. Anything else?”

She frowned. “Now you sound like you’re stock-checking again.”

“Donna, we need to talk this through. If you don’t tell me what worked and what didn’t, I’ll always be worried I’m hurting you.”

Donna shrugged, but nodded. “Fine, but the same goes for you, Timeboy. Just because you’re in charge doesn’t mean you can’t put up limits.”

“Agreed… so, does that mean there will be a next time?”

Donna smiled at the hopeful edge to his voice, mainly because it sounded so much like how she felt. “Oh, yes! But… I can’t promise I won’t cry again.”

The Doctor reached for her hand, “don’t worry about that. Just… make sure to tell me when I’m the reason for why you’re crying.”

She smiled and, feeling rather brave, she kissed him, “yes, Doctor.” He smiled back. “Does your offer still hold that you’d get me something to eat? Because I’m starving!”

He gave a mock salute. “Anything you say, Donna.”

Satisfied with herself, Donna leaned back against the pillows as the Doctor hurried off. She could get used to letting him have the control ever now and then, as long as they always returned to this. She certainly wouldn’t stop bossing him about, it was far too enjoyable.

 

-The End-


End file.
